Over the river and through the woods, Tin’s Aunt had come down to see him before he passed and to help his mother handle a mother’s worst nightmare losing a child. She watched him grow, watched him thrive and now held him as he faded away. I can’t imagine and it seems unholy although if Jesus’ mother had to go through it than who am I to…
guilt
It’s Not Guilt, It’s Sadness
So it’s been 7 years since my beautiful husband left for work one morning, and never came home. Seven years since his shocking and sudden death. Seven years of living this life in the “after” of painful and life-changing loss. It’s a long time, and it isn’t. It’s forever, and it’s also ten seconds. In all of this time living with the death of my…
The Wax and the Wayne
Another week past and overall things have been even keel. However the dreaded dates pile one on top of another. July 15th is Tin’s first birthday. July 4th is Tin’s and my anniversary and today, June 29th, 2018 is the first anniversary of my father Wayne’s passing. I know this writing is not based mainly on my lost partner Tin but it has a…
The New Crew
Tomorrow, Wednesday, is officially the beginning of “Drewfest” 2018. It’s an annual summer get-together of Drew’s friends, usually taking place somewhere in Texas, with the specific goal of having a fun weekend together as if he was still around, yet remembering he’s not. It’s a great endeavor, and one that in and of itself should…
Life Getting in the Way
It’s not exactly a secret that sometimes, I just can’t foresee a good subject for my weekly writings here. I’ll pine over ideas to see if they spark something, thinking about if there were any milestones, anniversaries, or triggers in the past week. More often than not, I’ll find a nugget of something and expand upon it, and sometimes,…
Ticking Clock
I vividly remember logging onto Facebook and staring at his messenger icon hoping he would come online. That it was all a misunderstanding and it wasn’t real. Last active… The hours ticked over into days, then into weeks. Now it has almost been 11 months. Remembering it as though it were yesterday. Today I still feel the longing, waiting and…
The Simple Life
My wife suffered from a long-term illness, Cystic Fibrosis. When I say “long-term”, what I actually mean is “life-long”. There wasn’t a day that I knew her where she didn’t have some sort of symptom or complication directly due to her condition. Even after her transplant, every day was filled with special medications, dietary and…
Writers Block
What should I write about today? Nature? No, I am beginning to sound like a broken record, and I haven’t hiked in the past week. How about Sarah? Well, I’ve got a good subject for NEXT week, but that doesn’t help me right now.. OK, how about Megan’s disease? I mean, I went through a lot with that, but really, it just sucks.
The Lovely Dance of Grief~
Tuesdays used to be only about writing my WV blog. Now they’re also about my EMDR sessions, so please bear with me as my brain and heart work overtime.Who knew that guilt could beat so strongly in me? Me, who loved my husband Chuck dearly, me who showed that love to him continually? He knew I loved him and told me frequently how much that…
A New Chapter Begins
I’m going to get straight to the point. Tomorrow, I am boarding a plane, flying to Texas, packing Sarah’s possessions, and driving her back north to Ohio. I am incredibly excited, anxious, and happy about this. But, I’m a widower. I have a beautiful 8 year old daughter who has lost her mother. I miss my wife, and I want nothing…
Just Be There
The more I learn and understand about the grieving process, the more I also clearly see how deeply our culture is uninformed about it and how horribly damaging it can be to some of us already damaged by the loss itself. So be forewarned: this post is a bit of a rant. I can’t remember ever in my life being taught anything about death other than…
Coming Home
I suppose no matter who you are, if you have a chance to escape, take a break, travel, take time off…that moment when you return to your regular life (assuming it was a good break of course) can be a bit of a letdown. For me, being widowed, my recent trip brought up so many additional feelings I think I will be sorting them out for a long time.