The summer of 2020 was a weird and unsettling time. We were early in the pandemic and there was just a heavy feeling all around. Mario’s health was really tanking, yet he was still not acknowledging it. We’d gone on a short camping trip about 50 miles to the east. I remember we had a […]
Widowed Memories
Looking back . . .
. . . it was all fear. “No one ever told me that grief felt so like fear.” –C.S. Lewis, A Grief Observed An interesting phenomena when looking back to the early days of widowhood is that I see things now that I was unable to see then. Things I may or may not […]
The Power of Holding Her Hand
June was Pride Month AND Filipino Heritage Month, and is always my busiest month as a result. I am greatly involved in organizing many of the activities, as well as participating in those I have no responsibility with (often my favorite times). I couldn’t help but remember the many memories Lynn and I made over […]
The 4th of July
4th of July was arguably Mario’s favorite holiday. It was not his favorite due to any sort of patriotic leanings. It was his favorite because it was a giant party. Years before we lived in an apartment together in Orange County, CA, we would get together with other friends and go to whatever giant rave […]
Five Years
Yesterday marked the fifth anniversary of Lee’s death. Not a day passes, nor many moments, when she is out of mind. My memories of Lee –even the sad ones- are part of her legacy. I sincerely wish this were not the case because, in an alternative universe, Lee would still be healthy, and happily, we […]
Seasons of Change
And just like that, we say goodbye to June and hello to July. What a whirlwind of a month June was. I felt like I was holding on to the bumper of a car moving at 100 miles per hour. It was a month full of milestones, memories, and so so many emotions. Looking back […]
Reminiscing Youth
A friend of mine was going through a box of college memorabilia today. She sent me so many pictures of us from that time in our lives. It’s weird to look back on myself now. That young goofy girl who always has her mouth wide open. She’s ready to be the life of every party. Living […]
Keeping Their Memories Alive
Last Monday, CAMP WIDOW a Documentary, aired via PBS/Independent Lens. It’s a short form documentary that packs a depth of emotion, a glimpse into the heart of an event that unites the widowed in a way like no other. I attended, and had the honor to present at, Camp Widow San Diego in 2023, […]
My Beautiful Italian Father-In-Law
After one of Lynn’s Celebrations of Life, her father, Gus, pulled me aside to talk alone. He told me that he knew how much Lynn and I loved each other, and that he wanted me to find a new love one day. He emphasized that they (Lynn’s family) would welcome my new partner with open […]
CAMP WIDOW the Documentary: “A love letter to resilience.”
This Monday presents the Awareness Observance of International Widow’s Day and also most fittingly the national debut of the documentary, CAMP WIDOW. I reached out to Michele Neff Hernandez, the CEO of Soaring Spirits International and the creator of the Camp Widow program to learn more about this groundbreaking project that followed a long and […]
Ghosts of the Past
If you read last week’s post, you’ll know that I’ve been having to spend some time at the hospital where Mario spent his last few days. Shortly after posting that, I had gone to visit and the nurses in the ICU told me they were moving my mom to a room in the PCU (progressive […]
Insignificant, Yet Significant
A repost! There are just some things that I can’t seem to part with. For the past three weeks, I have been trying to get rid of a set of bath towels that the twins have been using. It has definitely seen some better days. For some reason, I just can’t seem to say goodbye […]