One of the most difficult parts of the mourning process many widowed people experience is the loss of future occasions including holidays and anniversaries. We find ourselves listening to long-time married friends, family members and colleagues as they speak glowingly of their trips and celebrations of decades spent in togetherness. While we are truly happy […]
Widowed Memories
Missing
It began with a need for a garment bag the kind from the cleaners with its pre-slit hole for the hanger — dry cleaners size — with child safety warning included. I doubted I had one but went into my closet searching for a stray lingering on the closet rod. I notice a […]
Waters of Significance
In last Saturday’s post, I shared the continuing process of spreading my late husband’s cremains throughout multiple watery locations. Choosing these meaningful places for this journey has been an important step for me, and others, in the mourning progress and honoring Rich as he’d wished to be. As a watery theme had run […]
For once, the tears weren’t (only) mine
Main Image by Zac Ong on Unsplash Last Sunday I completed a 20 km running event. My first event of that distance (or so) in three years. I wrote about the run’s run-up last week. I have so often been on the verge of tears at various points in long runs – whether they are […]
“Urning” Places in the Heart
Rich passed on a Thursday. By Friday morning it became apparent that I had to make final arrangements for him. Throughout nearly 30 years together, Rich and I had attended many funerals and services for friends and family members. “Please don’t ever have one of those for me,” he’d commented on numerous occasions after attending […]
Keeping Active Hope Alive for COP27
Tomorrow I am participating in the Geneva 20 km run. The last time I participated in a distance like this – approximating a semi-marathon – was 2019. The year Julia died. I remember that event so clearly. It astounds me that it was already three years ago. And yes, COVID happened. The Lausanne semi-marathon is […]
Birthdays Can Be The Worst Days
Last Wednesday was Tony’s 2nd birthday since his passing. He should have been 45 but he is immortalized at 43. Having already checked off a birthday without him last year, I thought I was mentally ready for this day. I was wrong. When I woke up on the 2nd, I felt the weight of the […]
Cumulative Grief
When you’ve experienced multiple losses within a short period of time, you may begin to wonder how much more loss you can endure. This is known as Cumulative Grief, when one experiences multiple losses either all at once, or before processing an earlier loss. In coping with the one year anniversary of my husband’s […]
The Journal
Yesterday, as part of a seemingly endless project to cull and organize my personal papers, I came across several items of particular interest. One of these was a blue notebook with several pages of Lee’s handwriting that I had not looked at carefully until yesterday. The notebook looked like Lee had intended for it to […]
Halloween Changes
Today is Halloween and per usual my feelings are complicated. I have always loved Halloween, it’s right before my birthday, I love dressing up and expressing some creativity. Before Tony and I had kids, we used to have a big party every year and we usually put a lot of thought into our costumes. Once […]
Good Thoughts and Prayers
I’ve found it difficult to recall the rapidly unfolding events that occurred this week one year ago. The beautiful fall weather in the South features lack of the nearly year-round humidity. Clear Cerulean Blue skies. The Scarecrow Festival in downtown St. Marys, GA, the place I now call home. I wasn’t able to recall experiencing […]
Halloween Candy 2 (or Halloween Candy revised)
Every year about this same time, television stations roll put their catalogues of scary movies to help celebrate Halloween. It has been a tradition as far back as I can recall, and at my age, believe me, this tradition covers a lot of ground. For example, my personal faves from the 1950’s would include Don […]