I was a rather odd kid in that, from a very early age, I was fascinated by the past. In particular, the ancient past. I’m sure I have my dad to thank for sparking my interest by telling me all about geology and astronomy when I was still very small. These were subjects he was interested in and studied in college, so his college textbooks were some of the books in our mini library in the spare bedroom of our house.

I would spend hours and hours in there reading various books. Not exactly something you’d expect of a six year old. I remember a series of Time Life books my dad had gotten called, “Great Ages of Man”. There were a few other series of Time Life books. I read them all. It was probably in one of those that I originally stumbled on the concept of fate.

It was probably the Egyptians and Greeks that are most responsible for the concepts revolving around fate, but I suspect it may be even older than that. It’s human nature to want to apply big importance to life and events. In most ancient civilizations, one’s fate (or destiny) might have been in the hands of the gods/goddesses.

The ancient Greek Philosopher and scientist, Aristotle, was the first on record to come up with the notion that higher powers might not control every aspect of one’s life–that humans are responsible for the actions they voluntarily choose to do. He believed that humans have something called free will, choosing their actions within the confines of their natures. Humans also have the ability to mold their dispositions and to develop their moral characters. Pretty forward-thinking for the time.

And so, my early research equipped me with some interesting concepts that I’ve thought about ever since. Since I first learned about them, the concepts of fate and free will have always fascinated me. When big things would happen in my life, good or bad, I’d mull over whether some “higher power” might be involved and if the moment of my birth set in motion some pre-determined experiences.

Looking at the beliefs of ancient cultures through a modern lens can lead down a number of pathways. You can take the pure scientific route, wherein these beliefs are considered primitive–that cultures often believed in what we today would call magic or the occult, and not to be considered “real”, but rather a side effect of “not knowing any better”. Side note: I almost went for an archeology degree in school but decided in the end that I rather just enjoyed the topic as a hobby, not a profession. And over the years, I’ve leaned more and more across the scientific line and into that which has yet to be proven by science.

For one thing, the very nature of science begs for exploration and testing. Science evolves along with knowledge. Humans have consistently unlocked knowledge and science has had to change because of it. Science starts with theory, theory is tested and re-tested. Replication of certain results eventually becomes fact. And yet, there a a million facets to the human experience that can not be brushed aside or explained easily. There are many facts, that turn out not to be accurate with updated testing and knowledge. Science requires an open mind.

So, back to fate. There are many out there who actually believe that we are the ones who choose our fate, not a higher power. This is definitely one of those “over the line” type of concepts. Now, ancient people have already thought this through, but to circle back to it in the modern day puts you squarely in the “woo woo” realm–basically, non-provable through current science. For one, you have to buy into the belief of existence beyond death, past lives, and a whole bunch of other concepts. I still find it fascinating. What if, before we were born into this current life, we loosely laid out a “plan” for what we wanted to experience? What if a higher power (or powers) chose for you? What if ancient cultures were right about souls coming back again and again? It’s unscientific, but nonetheless damn interesting.

I remember when I first met who would become my future spouse (and if I hadn’t met him, I wouldn’t be on this website posting this blog). One of the very first times we ever hung out, I can’t remember exactly what we were talking about, but he uttered the phrase, “Oh, I’ll never make it to 50”. I thought that was so strange. Why would he say that? We were both 20 years old and while I could be a little gothy and morose, my own demise was not something I thought about often. I was too busy living in the moment of being young and rather care-free. Yet here was someone who obviously had thought about this a lot. It’s not a casual phrase you just drop on someone you’ve recently met. I still wonder if it was a test–throwing that out there to see if I would run away or giving me a preview of things to come.

As time went on, he’d periodically reinforce that statement by mentioning it again. Or mentioning that he’s had family members who had cut their own lives short. But at the same time, he would also make statements like he could, “never just commit suicide”. He definitely treaded a line though. Looking back on everything, he absolutely suffered from clinical depression, but he also hid it well the majority of the time–at least early on. His last 10 years were a very slow suicide.

Aristotle I’m sure was a great observer of other humans to come up with that notion that people make choices based on their nature, but that they can also mold who they are. On any given day, at any given time, if you stop and think about your choices, you might discover a little more about your own nature. While I was living those 27 years with Mario in my life, I learned the hard way that, even with the best support and love, some fates are sealed and some are unable to break free of the molds they have made.