Today is Tony’s birthday and he would be 49 years old. This is the 5th birthday we’ve spent without him. It’s still so weird we aren’t celebrating our birthdays together. I felt like I spent most of today in a bit of a fog. On the outside, no one would realize today is a hard […]
About Emily Vielhauer
Dark Humor on a T-Shirt
I tend to gravitate to dark humor as one of my favorite coping mechanisms. One of the things I find myself buying is t-shirts that turn heads. One of the first ones I bought says Till Death and I wore it the last time I went to Camp Widow. Halloween always has questionable choices available. […]
Writing a Children’s Book
One of the benefits I have at work is that I get a certain number of days to creatively reset or build my knowledge. We can craft our own day or sign up for a guided class. Earlier this year I signed up for a lettering class. More recently, I signed up for a class […]
Tear It Down, Build It Up
My house is finally getting repaired after birds nested in a water damaged soffit this spring. I’ve posted about it a few times over the last year. But it’s so nice to finally make some progress. After a few offers for help failed to come through, my friend and I contemplated fixing it ourselves. I […]
Widow Friends Expect Less
Recently, I was able to take a quick trip to Las Vegas and catch up with a few of my widow friends. With only 4 of us, we had a small group for this trip. But it always fills my heart to be with them. We came into the weekend with zero plans since in […]
Vacation Loading…
I will get to see some of my widow friends soon! I cannot wait to give them all hugs and spend a few days catching up in person. But first, we must get there and only one of us has an empty nest. I am looking forward to it, but I have a lot of […]
Coffee and Hugs
I’ve noticed as I get older and experience major life changes, friendships change too. Like all things, they run the gamut on the friendship type. Since losing Tony, I have also lost a handful of friendships I would have said were unbreakable before he died. I have mourned those friendships alongside my husband. But I […]
A BBQ Keepsake Found
I found something of Tony’s this weekend that I had searched for extensively in the year after he died. When he first started smoking a lot of BBQ, I bought him a small leather journal. He spent so many weekends practicing; different recipes, cook times, and temperatures. Smoke, taste test, rinse and repeat. (Almost 20 […]
Missed Reunions
This morning I received an email inviting Tony to his 30-year high school reunion. Immediately the mental gymnastics started. Whose email address did this come to? Will his death be a topic of conversation at the reunion? Or will he quietly be forgotten by those we were close to? And remembering how much fun we […]
CONGRATULATIONS
Tonight I was texting with my original Camp Widow crew of four. We haven’t all been together, in person, in a few years. But our connection is still strong and even if some time passes, we are always just a text away. As we were texting, I was reminded of where one of our inside […]
Home Repairs Not Repaired
In May, I made a post about a hole in my house. A Hole in the House – Widow’s Voice Birds had found a soft spot in a soffit, and they managed to squeeze in and make a nest there. Unfortunately, the hole still isn’t fixed. At every turn, I have been disappointed by the […]
Tag, You’re It
I’ve been navigating orthodontic issues with my oldest son. We tried a non-invasive solution for almost a year before they decided we should consult an oral surgeon. Consulted for braces (again) and surgery, then mid-stream a second opinion put us on a surgery only plan. Based on the information we have, I believe we have […]