Our cat has been missing for four days, and the anniversary of Tony’s death is in six days. Into that equation go ahead and add that my oldest will be 16 in two days. In summation, I am struggling. I feel like such a failure losing the cat, as the adult in the house it’s […]
About Emily Vielhauer
Squad Goals
A week ago, I was wrapping up a long weekend with my widow squad. Ten of us, who over the last 4 years, built a bond at Camp Widow San Diego. The Camp Widow format change was our catalyst to adjust how we show up for each other. For us, Camp had begun to serve […]
It’s April again…
This is a repost as I am away and traveling with my widow crew at the beginning of another April! (posted by Mary Moore Hughes on behalf of Emily) Today marks the beginning of another April. This is THE month for me, the one we lost Tony. Last week I was chatting with a friend, […]
Wearing Green Again
Last Monday, should have been my 18th wedding anniversary. I had almost lost sight of its impending arrival. His death anniversary falls on Easter this year. Preparing for that had been taking up my extra grief mental load. In fact, when a friend texted me a few days before my anniversary to check in on […]
Home Alone
As a solo parent, every now and then I find my brain in the middle of a ‘what if’ spiral of paranoia. After the death of a partner, the mortality of ourselves and our loved ones lives closer to the surface. I know life can change in an instant. Friday night I found myself driving […]
Slideshow Selections
This is my last year having a kid in elementary school. Preparations have already begun for the year end celebration at the school. Our school hosts what they call the Fifth Grade Farewell. It’s a day of fun games and activities for the kids. At the end of the day, the kids, their teachers, and […]
What is in the Fridge
Last week I ordered a new refrigerator to replace the one Tony, and I purchased when our oldest was a toddler. It’s just an appliance, but that fridge has moved with us and been in my kitchen for about 14 years. Over the weekend I cleaned behind and under the old one. I found reminders […]
Valentine Kindness
This was my fourth Valentine’s Day without a Valentine. It was never a huge holiday for us but that doesn’t mean it’s not a reminder of grief. Seeing the advertisements still remind you that your partner is gone, even if you would never buy them whatever it is they are selling. It’s another small way […]
Haircuts and Control
The last few weeks I have been feeling anxious on a broad scale. We all know there is a limit to what we can control. The death of a loved one is a sharp reminder of that fact. To combat my anxiety, I have been taking steps to put my house in order. Doing what […]
Let Them
Last week I jumped on the bandwagon and listened to the book “The Let Them Theory” by Mel Robbins. I was intrigued after hearing a teaser online. Grief is usually the only self-help style book I pick up and finish. I downloaded the audiobook, set it at 1.4x speed and I was off to the […]
Simple Pleasures
Everyone is ready for January to be over. There are jokes online about how this month feels never ending. Record cold and snow for some of us, and devasting fires for others. It has not been a great month. However, I’m not ready to roll out the red carpet for February either. Halfway through that […]
Where Is Dad
Each year since Tony died, I have taken the kids on a vacation the week between Christmas and New Years. We’ve been to Disney World, Jamaica, Mexico, and this year I took the boys on their first ever cruise. I find myself counting these vacations to remember how many holidays he’s missed. Traveling over the […]