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Emily Vielhauer

About Emily Vielhauer

My name is Emily Vielhauer, I am 42 years old and have 3 knuckleheaded sons who are between the ages of 8 and 13. My husband, Tony, and I were married for 14 years and despite how things ended we built something great together.

April 19th, 2021 was the last day of my ‘before’ story. The day before I became a widow, before I was a solo parent to 3 boys, before I knew my love was suffering in silence, before suicide rocked my world, before I had to break the hearts of my children and all our friends and family, before I planned a funeral and delivered a eulogy, before I knew the true depths of my love for Tony and the way that love would be expressed through grief, so many befores.

My hope for this blog is to take you along with me as I navigate my life in the ‘after’ and that my words help someone else out there, whether they empower you or just let you know that you’re not alone out there.

Death and Taxes

Posted on: September 18, 2023 | Posted by: Emily Vielhauer

Nothing is certain in life except death and taxes, at least that is what they say. As a widow, I can also tell you that nothing complicates taxes like the death of your spouse. In April of 2021, our taxes had been prepared but we had not had to chance to sign and mail them […]

Categories: Widowed, Widowed Emotions, Widowed Community, Widowed Suddenly, Widowed by Suicide

My Memorial Tattoo

Posted on: September 11, 2023 | Posted by: Emily Vielhauer

When I wrote my first blog post for this site in March of 2022, I shared what I refer to as my widow mantra. That mantra is to Be Brave. Stay Strong. Love Hard. You can read that post here: My Widow Mantra – Widow’s Voice (widowsvoice.com) At the time, I knew I wanted to […]

Categories: Widowed Effect on Family/Friends, Widowed Memories, Widowed and Healing, Widowed Emotions, Widowed Suddenly, Widowed by Suicide

Overwhelmed

Posted on: September 4, 2023 | Posted by: Emily Vielhauer

Some days are just overwhelming. Wednesday night we discovered a water stain forming on the living room ceiling. I inspected the boy’s bathroom upstairs and there were no signs of water. Next, I sent a picture to my parents since they had watched my kids Tuesday night while I went to The Chicks concert. A […]

Categories: Widowed Parenting, Widowed Effect on Family/Friends, Widowed Emotions

Dinner Time

Posted on: August 28, 2023 | Posted by: Emily Vielhauer

There are many things I hate about widowhood, but today I’m going to complain about dinner. I hate it. Every single night, it’s my responsibility to figure out our dinner plans. I’m the only one who can meal plan and go to the grocery store. Then I must prep it, cook it, and clean it […]

Categories: Widowed, Widowed Parenting, Widowed Emotions, Widowed Suddenly, Widowed by Suicide, Uncategorized

Growing Up

Posted on: August 21, 2023 | Posted by: Emily Vielhauer

Last week my kids started back at school. Building up to it, I didn’t feel overly anxious about Tony missing this milestone yet again. However, I didn’t have time to really process that part of it. This year (and next) my boys will attend three different schools. So that is triple the number of back-to-school […]

Categories: Widowed Parenting, Widowed Memories, Widowed Milestones, Widowed Emotions, Widowed by Suicide

No.

Posted on: August 14, 2023 | Posted by: Emily Vielhauer

Yesterday I had a video call with some of the widows that I’ve met at Camp over the last few years. We usually keep in touch via text, but it was great to look at their faces instead of the text bubbles. Recently, one of us had solicited advice on how to handle a situation. […]

Categories: Newly Widowed, Widowed, Widowed Effect on Family/Friends, Widowed and Healing, Widowed Belongings, Widowed Emotions, Widowed Community, Widowed by Suicide

Our Melody

Posted on: August 7, 2023 | Posted by: Emily Vielhauer

I heard our wedding song this week. It was only the second time I’ve heard it in the almost two and half years since Tony died. I usually just ask Alexa to play music and let her pick the genre. Well, this particular evening she chose 90’s country instead of something like P!nk. Tony liked […]

Categories: Widowed Memories, Widowed and Healing, Widowed Emotions, Widowed by Suicide

Will Weddings Always Be Hard

Posted on: July 31, 2023 | Posted by: Emily Vielhauer

A fellow widow asked if weddings would always be hard for us to go to and I found myself looking back to the first wedding I attended after Tony died. It was an out-of-town wedding that took place 6 weeks after he passed. Six weeks felt so far away when I was on day 3. […]

Categories: Widowed Effect on Family/Friends, Widowed Memories, Widowed and New Love, Widowed Milestones, Widowed Emotions, Widowed Community

Camping Without Him

Posted on: July 24, 2023 | Posted by: Emily Vielhauer

This weekend the kids and I embarked on another first without Tony. Two years and three months after his passing I accepted an invitation to go on a camping float trip. Tony loved the outdoors and for him all the prep work to camp was worth the effort. I went along for the ride because […]

Categories: Widowed, Widowed Parenting, Widowed Memories, Widowed Milestones, Widowed Emotions, Widowed by Suicide, Uncategorized

Camp Widow Squad

Posted on: July 17, 2023 | Posted by: Emily Vielhauer

Today I traveled home from my third trip to Camp Widow, San Diego. It is so hard to put into words how special this weekend is for me. For me, there is immense comfort in finding other widow(er)s who also lost their husband/wife/boyfriend/girlfriend/fiancé/person to suicide. Our loss is traumatic in a way that can be […]

Categories: Widowed and Healing, Widowed Emotions, Widowed Community, Widowed Suddenly, Widowed by Suicide

Prepping For Camp Widow

Posted on: July 10, 2023 | Posted by: Emily Vielhauer

In two days and 18 hours I will board a plane headed for Camp Widow San Diego! This will be my third camp. I’m so excited to go back and reconnect with my mighty squad of widows. I’m also looking forward to sleeping alone in a hotel room with no small humans demanding snacks. But […]

Categories: Widowed Parenting, Widowed Effect on Family/Friends, Widowed Emotions, Widowed Community, Widowed by Suicide

New Circles

Posted on: July 3, 2023 | Posted by: Emily Vielhauer

A few weeks ago, my younger boys tried out with a competitive club soccer organization. Even though it’s a club, every kid that wants to join makes a team. Both kids happened to land on teams that have the same coach. Then, because I’m a sucker, I got roped into being the team manager for […]

Categories: Widowed Parenting, Widowed Effect on Family/Friends, Widowed and Healing, Widowed Emotions, Uncategorized

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