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Emily Vielhauer

About Emily Vielhauer

My name is Emily Vielhauer, I am 42 years old and have 3 knuckleheaded sons who are between the ages of 8 and 13. My husband, Tony, and I were married for 14 years and despite how things ended we built something great together.

April 19th, 2021 was the last day of my ‘before’ story. The day before I became a widow, before I was a solo parent to 3 boys, before I knew my love was suffering in silence, before suicide rocked my world, before I had to break the hearts of my children and all our friends and family, before I planned a funeral and delivered a eulogy, before I knew the true depths of my love for Tony and the way that love would be expressed through grief, so many befores.

My hope for this blog is to take you along with me as I navigate my life in the ‘after’ and that my words help someone else out there, whether they empower you or just let you know that you’re not alone out there.

Our Anniversary, Number 16 and Number 2

Posted on: March 20, 2023 | Posted by: Emily Vielhauer

  Friday would have been our 16th wedding anniversary and it’s the 2nd one he’s missed. The last two years I have intentionally been away from home on St. Patrick’s Day. Last year, the kids and I went to Florida to visit my parents. This year we spent a long weekend in the Ozarks with […]

Categories: Widowed, Widowed Effect on Family/Friends, Widowed Memories, Widowed and Healing, Widowed Anniversaries, Widowed Holidays, Widowed Milestones, Widowed Emotions

My Blogiversary

Posted on: March 13, 2023 | Posted by: Emily Vielhauer

This post marks my one-year anniversary as a writer for the Widow’s Voice. 52 weeks of sharing my journey with fellow widowed people and our support networks that follow this blog. There are weeks I start to write this and I’m not sure what direction it’ll go. Other times, I know exactly what has been […]

Categories: Widowed, Widowed Parenting, Widowed Effect on Family/Friends, Widowed Memories, Widowed and Healing, Widowed Anniversaries, Widowed Emotions

Exercise as Self Care

Posted on: March 6, 2023 | Posted by: Emily Vielhauer

Why is it so hard to prioritize ourselves and our health? Before Tony passed, I had started a workout routine that I enjoyed. It was the first time since having kids that I had started one and was sticking to it. The day he passed was the 79th day in a row that I had […]

Categories: Widowed, Widowed Parenting, Widowed and Healing, Widowed Milestones, Widowed Emotions, Widowed Therapy, Widowed by Suicide, Uncategorized

Reliving the Worst

Posted on: February 27, 2023 | Posted by: Emily Vielhauer

I try not to relive the trauma of the day our lives changed forever too often. The memories are seared into my brain and are always there to conjure if prompted. I do my best to let them lay because they are so painful to hold on the surface for too long. Yesterday, a friend […]

Categories: Widowed Parenting, Widowed Memories, Widowed Emotions, Widowed Suddenly, Widowed by Suicide

My Village

Posted on: February 20, 2023 | Posted by: Emily Vielhauer

Yesterday I flew home from a five-day trip to Florida without the kids. Looking back on it, I realize how fortunate I am to have a support system that allowed me to go. My in-laws signed on early to the idea of keeping the boys for the entirety of my trip. Normally when I leave […]

Categories: Widowed, Widowed Parenting, Widowed Effect on Family/Friends, Widowed and Healing, Widowed Emotions, Widowed by Suicide, Uncategorized

Bittersweet Victory

Posted on: February 13, 2023 | Posted by: Emily Vielhauer

Yesterday was the biggest football game there is, and our Chiefs came out Champions. Growing up in Kansas City, the hometown love was instilled early. There is no other professional football team for me. I have swiped no to people on dating sites simply because they are wearing a Raiders jersey. There are some lines […]

Categories: Widowed, Widowed Memories, Widowed Milestones, Widowed Emotions, Widowed Signs from Loved One, Widowed by Suicide, Uncategorized

Recognized

Posted on: February 6, 2023 | Posted by: Emily Vielhauer

When something tragic happens, everyone seems to know about it. You expect your core and extended people to know your story. I often forget how far-reaching bad news can be. How, in the age of social media and the internet it doesn’t take long for news to spread. It spreads far beyond what we even […]

Categories: Widowed, Widowed Effect on Family/Friends, Widowed Memories, Widowed and Healing, Widowed Emotions, Widowed by Suicide, Uncategorized

Cheering On Our Team

Posted on: January 30, 2023 | Posted by: Emily Vielhauer

Yesterday was a big day for my city. In two weeks, my beloved Chiefs are headed back to the biggest football game. Like the week before, I gathered with my neighborhood crew to watch the game. If you didn’t watch, the game was a nailbiter. In the end, our team pulled through and across town […]

Categories: Widowed, Widowed Effect on Family/Friends, Widowed Memories, Widowed Milestones, Widowed Emotions, Widowed Suddenly

Greek Tragedy

Posted on: January 23, 2023 | Posted by: Emily Vielhauer

Losing Tony hasn’t really made me question who I am as a person, but it has made me question how I should spend my time. As a couple, we each participated in activities that the other person wouldn’t sign up for alone. I’ve been to NASCAR races, BBQ contests, and attempted to fish. None of […]

Categories: Widowed, Widowed Memories, Widowed and Healing, Widowed Emotions, Widowed Suddenly, Widowed by Suicide, Uncategorized

Word of the Year

Posted on: January 16, 2023 | Posted by: Emily Vielhauer

In my very first post here I said I’ve never been a New Year resolution kind of gal. I still maintain that I am not. For me, the resolutions are too specific and confined that make me feel destined to fail. As a lifelong perfectionist failure is way outside my comfort zone. Over the last […]

Categories: Widowed, Widowed Parenting, Widowed and Healing, Widowed Holidays, Widowed Emotions

Vacationing Without Him

Posted on: January 9, 2023 | Posted by: Emily Vielhauer

After the success of surprising my kids last year with a Christmas trip to Orlando, I decided to try it again this year. On Christmas morning, they woke up to a scavenger hunt that revealed we were going to Jamaica for 6 days over the holiday break. This time we had a few days before […]

Categories: Widowed Parenting, Widowed Holidays, Widowed Emotions, Widowed Suddenly, Widowed by Suicide, Uncategorized

Grief Is…a repost worth sharing

Posted on: January 2, 2023 | Posted by: Emily Vielhauer

This week was the first anniversary of Tony’s death. Despite the strange time warp of grief, I have pulled us along into the second year. One hour, one day, one week, one month at a time. I imagine the road ahead is counted in years instead of the grains of time, but time will tell. […]

Categories: Widowed and Healing, Widowed Holidays

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