My house is finally getting repaired after birds nested in a water damaged soffit this spring. I’ve posted about it a few times over the last year. But it’s so nice to finally make some progress. After a few offers for help failed to come through, my friend and I contemplated fixing it ourselves. I […]
Widowed by Suicide
Widow Friends Expect Less
Recently, I was able to take a quick trip to Las Vegas and catch up with a few of my widow friends. With only 4 of us, we had a small group for this trip. But it always fills my heart to be with them. We came into the weekend with zero plans since in […]
Vacation Loading…
I will get to see some of my widow friends soon! I cannot wait to give them all hugs and spend a few days catching up in person. But first, we must get there and only one of us has an empty nest. I am looking forward to it, but I have a lot of […]
Coffee and Hugs
I’ve noticed as I get older and experience major life changes, friendships change too. Like all things, they run the gamut on the friendship type. Since losing Tony, I have also lost a handful of friendships I would have said were unbreakable before he died. I have mourned those friendships alongside my husband. But I […]
A BBQ Keepsake Found
I found something of Tony’s this weekend that I had searched for extensively in the year after he died. When he first started smoking a lot of BBQ, I bought him a small leather journal. He spent so many weekends practicing; different recipes, cook times, and temperatures. Smoke, taste test, rinse and repeat. (Almost 20 […]
Missed Reunions
This morning I received an email inviting Tony to his 30-year high school reunion. Immediately the mental gymnastics started. Whose email address did this come to? Will his death be a topic of conversation at the reunion? Or will he quietly be forgotten by those we were close to? And remembering how much fun we […]
CONGRATULATIONS
Tonight I was texting with my original Camp Widow crew of four. We haven’t all been together, in person, in a few years. But our connection is still strong and even if some time passes, we are always just a text away. As we were texting, I was reminded of where one of our inside […]
Home Repairs Not Repaired
In May, I made a post about a hole in my house. A Hole in the House – Widow’s Voice Birds had found a soft spot in a soffit, and they managed to squeeze in and make a nest there. Unfortunately, the hole still isn’t fixed. At every turn, I have been disappointed by the […]
Futbol Fever
Tonight the US men’s team lost their run for the World Cup. It’s disappointing but I’m not crushed. Historically, Tony and I had never been huge soccer fans. This year, I live in one of the World Cup host cities. So, I decided to lean in and embrace what may be opportunities that present themselves […]
Stressing Again
I was putting my hair up into a ponytail last week and noticed there was a spot that felt almost waxy. The spot was close to the nape of my neck so it took me a minute to process what it could be. Then it hit me. I went straight to a mirror, and it […]
Timber
Yesterday was Father’s Day and our 6th one without Tony. A week ago, I checked in with the kids and once again they didn’t care to do anything special. So, we had no plans for the day. I had been putting off yard work for longer than I care to admit. I’m not a tall […]
We had the Meats
When Tony died, he left us with a deep freezer full of meat. There were supplies for smoking BBQ, like ribs and pork butts likely purchased on sale. He also had vacuum sealed BBQ he’d already cooked saved for us to reheat later. We had ordered beef and pork from farmers, so there were cuts […]