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Widowed by Suicide

When it isn’t your crisis

Posted on: March 23, 2023 | Posted by: Victoria Helmly

*TW: there is mention of suicidal ideation/psychiatric hospitalization in this post You know those times in life when it feels like everyone around you is going through a crisis or a loss, and you have this strong urge to be super supportive but you are also reeling a bit yourself? That is happening to me […]

Categories: Widowed Emotions, Widowed by Suicide

Exercise as Self Care

Posted on: March 6, 2023 | Posted by: Emily Vielhauer

Why is it so hard to prioritize ourselves and our health? Before Tony passed, I had started a workout routine that I enjoyed. It was the first time since having kids that I had started one and was sticking to it. The day he passed was the 79th day in a row that I had […]

Categories: Widowed, Widowed Parenting, Widowed and Healing, Widowed Milestones, Widowed Emotions, Widowed Therapy, Widowed by Suicide, Uncategorized

Reliving the Worst

Posted on: February 27, 2023 | Posted by: Emily Vielhauer

I try not to relive the trauma of the day our lives changed forever too often. The memories are seared into my brain and are always there to conjure if prompted. I do my best to let them lay because they are so painful to hold on the surface for too long. Yesterday, a friend […]

Categories: Widowed Parenting, Widowed Memories, Widowed Emotions, Widowed Suddenly, Widowed by Suicide

My Village

Posted on: February 20, 2023 | Posted by: Emily Vielhauer

Yesterday I flew home from a five-day trip to Florida without the kids. Looking back on it, I realize how fortunate I am to have a support system that allowed me to go. My in-laws signed on early to the idea of keeping the boys for the entirety of my trip. Normally when I leave […]

Categories: Widowed, Widowed Parenting, Widowed Effect on Family/Friends, Widowed and Healing, Widowed Emotions, Widowed by Suicide, Uncategorized

Bittersweet Victory

Posted on: February 13, 2023 | Posted by: Emily Vielhauer

Yesterday was the biggest football game there is, and our Chiefs came out Champions. Growing up in Kansas City, the hometown love was instilled early. There is no other professional football team for me. I have swiped no to people on dating sites simply because they are wearing a Raiders jersey. There are some lines […]

Categories: Widowed, Widowed Memories, Widowed Milestones, Widowed Emotions, Widowed Signs from Loved One, Widowed by Suicide, Uncategorized

Recognized

Posted on: February 6, 2023 | Posted by: Emily Vielhauer

When something tragic happens, everyone seems to know about it. You expect your core and extended people to know your story. I often forget how far-reaching bad news can be. How, in the age of social media and the internet it doesn’t take long for news to spread. It spreads far beyond what we even […]

Categories: Widowed, Widowed Effect on Family/Friends, Widowed Memories, Widowed and Healing, Widowed Emotions, Widowed by Suicide, Uncategorized

Greek Tragedy

Posted on: January 23, 2023 | Posted by: Emily Vielhauer

Losing Tony hasn’t really made me question who I am as a person, but it has made me question how I should spend my time. As a couple, we each participated in activities that the other person wouldn’t sign up for alone. I’ve been to NASCAR races, BBQ contests, and attempted to fish. None of […]

Categories: Widowed, Widowed Memories, Widowed and Healing, Widowed Emotions, Widowed Suddenly, Widowed by Suicide, Uncategorized

Vacationing Without Him

Posted on: January 9, 2023 | Posted by: Emily Vielhauer

After the success of surprising my kids last year with a Christmas trip to Orlando, I decided to try it again this year. On Christmas morning, they woke up to a scavenger hunt that revealed we were going to Jamaica for 6 days over the holiday break. This time we had a few days before […]

Categories: Widowed Parenting, Widowed Holidays, Widowed Emotions, Widowed Suddenly, Widowed by Suicide, Uncategorized

A Thought on Suicide Prevention

Posted on: December 30, 2022 | Posted by: Victoria Helmly

I wanted to write about the way we talk about suicide deaths, especially around the prevention of suicide. I am not sure that I have anything new or insightful that has not already been said before, but I think as a suicide loss survivor, I should speak up about how it feels to me. When […]

Categories: Widowed Emotions, Widowed by Suicide

Another Suicide Loss

Posted on: December 19, 2022 | Posted by: Emily Vielhauer

Last week, news broke that Stephen “tWitch” Boss died by suicide. As a survivor of suicide loss, each time I hear of someone else dying this way I feel a little crushed. It’s like my brain can’t process how or why this keeps happening to people. The subsequent days filled my news feeds with things […]

Categories: Widowed Parenting, Widowed Emotions, Widowed Community, Widowed Suddenly, Widowed by Suicide

Account Changes are Hard

Posted on: November 28, 2022 | Posted by: Emily Vielhauer

Today the plan was to write about how we put things off because we know it’s going to be hard. We have enough hard so if there’s a path of less resistance, I might just follow it. And then I put writing this blog off all day. Clearly, I’m sticking with my theme of stalling […]

Categories: Widowed, Widowed Milestones, Widowed Emotions, Widowed by Suicide, Miscellaneous

Thankful and bitter.

Posted on: November 25, 2022 | Posted by: Victoria Helmly

At the time of year when we traditionally pause to give thanks and reflect on the things we are grateful for, I often feel like a bitter person. I feel like everyone else is so full of gratitude, even amidst pain and loss, and I am just…not.  The truth is, I am grateful for so […]

Categories: Widowed Emotions, Widowed Suddenly, Widowed by Suicide

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