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Widowed Suddenly

Daydreaming.

Posted on: May 13, 2022 | Posted by: Victoria Helmly

Sometimes I wonder what it would be like if Boris came back to life now. If he just appeared again, alive and starting where he left off. Maybe he was never dead. Maybe he was just away. I have little daydreams about this pretty often (And, sometimes my subconscious joins in and I have vivid […]

Categories: Widowed Memories, Widowed and Healing, Widowed Emotions, Widowed Suddenly

Love has Paws

Posted on: May 6, 2022 | Posted by: Victoria Helmly

Dear Kitty Cat, What a silly name your dad gave you. I tried to convince him to choose a more creative name, but he was settled on Kitty Cat. Now, I couldn’t imagine you having any other name. And I could not imagine life without you, though I know all too well how fragile that […]

Categories: Widowed, Widowed & Unmarried, Widowed Without Children, Widowed Emotions, Widowed Suddenly, Widowed by Suicide

Return to Therapy

Posted on: April 22, 2022 | Posted by: Victoria Helmly

Tomorrow I will be returning to therapy after several months “off”. It feels like good timing, but I wonder how it will be different this time around. I started going to therapy shortly after Boris was hospitalized for suicidal ideation for the first time, in June 2017. We also saw a couples therapist for several […]

Categories: Widowed and Healing, Widowed Therapy, Widowed Suddenly, Widowed by Suicide

4 years

Posted on: April 8, 2022 | Posted by: Victoria Helmly

April 7th marks 4 years since I saw Boris alive. And, it still feels like, how can this be? I have been listening to Maren Morris’s new album and she has this song about someone she loves dying and imagining what the world would do without them. I know the sun will set into the […]

Categories: Widowed Milestones, Widowed Suddenly, Widowed by Suicide

Because…April…

Posted on: April 4, 2022 | Posted by: Emily Vielhauer

This week I turned the calendar to April and that means I’m facing a list of lasts we shared with Tony.   The last time his closest friend came over to share a whiskey. The last Friday night steak he cooked us. The last time he sang happy birthday to any of our children. The […]

Categories: Newly Widowed, Widowed, Widowed Memories, Widowed Milestones, Widowed Suddenly, Widowed by Suicide, Uncategorized

Trauma

Posted on: March 25, 2022 | Posted by: Victoria Helmly

Isn’t it weird and incredible what we can do if we have no other choice? Our traumatic experiences, before they happened, seemed foreign and impossible. They seemed like things we would not be able to survive. And we definitely never thought we could not only survive but function and do the “tasks” of grief. But […]

Categories: Widowed & Unmarried, Widowed Suddenly, Widowed by Suicide

Shamrock Reflections

Posted on: March 21, 2022 | Posted by: Emily Vielhauer

When you pick your wedding date, you never imagine that day could one day bring heartache. All the focus is on the celebration and the happy life you are building together. It never even crosses your mind that one of you could be left standing alone. Tony and I would have been married 15 years […]

Categories: Newly Widowed, Widowed, Widowed Memories, Widowed Anniversaries, Widowed Holidays, Widowed Milestones, Widowed Emotions, Widowed Suddenly, Widowed by Suicide

My Widow Mantra

Posted on: March 14, 2022 | Posted by: Emily Vielhauer

I was going to start with an introduction post as my first post, but I think you’ll get to know me in time. Plus, I don’t think I can write a full-on intro post without it feeling like I’m writing another eulogy, so here goes something different. I have never been a self-help, New Year’s […]

Categories: Newly Widowed, Widowed, Widowed Parenting, Widowed Holidays, Widowed Emotions, Widowed Suddenly, Widowed by Suicide

My Farewell Blog…

Posted on: March 7, 2022 | Posted by: Staci Sulin

This will be my last blog.  My life has become so full that I no longer have the necessary time to dedicate to writing.  This is so very different than in the recent past when I had too much time on my hands.  I distinctly remember the feel of those days when I had nowhere […]

Categories: Widowed and Healing, Widowed and New Love, Widowed Emotions, Widowed Suddenly

Winds of Change – Part of living

Posted on: February 28, 2022 | Posted by: Staci Sulin

I originally wrote this blog five years ago on February12, 2018 to be exact.  If you have followed my writing, reading this, you will recognize the evolution of grief.  Over the years, the content of my writing has changed along with the tone of my grief.  This blog highlights how grief can change with time.

As always, I hope my blog helps; and I think those who are just beginning down the path of grief will especially relate to the words I wrote so long ago.

Categories: Widowed and Healing, Widowed Suddenly, Uncategorized

Undone.

Posted on: February 25, 2022 | Posted by: Victoria Helmly

A partially written Master’s thesis. Half-completed songs. Medication bottles with pills still inside. An unmade bed. A guitar halfway strung. Bills unpaid. A bottle of water never finished. A face of stubble never shaved. Laundry that needed washing. Tickets to concerts never to be attended. A cat that needed to be fed. Work and volunteer […]

Categories: Widowed Emotions, Widowed Suddenly

Resurfacing 2022

Posted on: February 21, 2022 | Posted by: Staci Sulin

I originally had these thoughts in January of 2021.  And, a lot has changed since this time.  It is true that a lot can happen in a year’s time.  If you told me how different my life would become in a year I would not have believed you.  I reread this blog and I stand […]

Categories: Widowed and Healing, Widowed Emotions, Widowed Suddenly

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