Today is World Suicide Prevention Day. This day brings a range of emotions to the forefront. Wishing that I had seen something sooner. Wishing I could have prevented what happened with Erik. Wishing I’ll be able to find the right words to explain what happened to our kids. There’s so much stigma around suicide loss. […]
Widowed Suddenly
Suicide Narrative
September 10th is World Suicide Prevention Day. According to the World Health Organization (WHO), there are more than 700,000 deaths by suicide every year. The WHO’s theme this year is “Changing the Narrative on Suicide.” I’d like to take you through a different approach than they probably intended but one that is important to me. […]
Forever 32
I found myself lying wide awake at 10:49 the Monday night before my birthday wishing that midnight just wouldn’t come. And that if it did, that my birthday wish would come true. That when that clock struck 12, I would find myself back in 2022 before what would become the worst day of our lives. […]
Choices and Adjustments
HI Friends. I feel like a broken record, but once again my apologies for not posting in here the last couple weeks. I really don’t completely forget on purpose. Its just that the last few weeks have been INCREDIBLY STRESSFUL and chaotic and soooo busy with moving, packing, getting into my new apartment, then unpacking, […]
August Slipped Away
A repost! Join me next week to read about this year’s birthday. August has always been such a busy month in our lives. Our entire family’s birthdays. Summer plans, parties, trips…memories. This past month, mostly these past two weeks have been more of a rollercoaster than I remember last year being. This was the first […]
Frozen in Age
Earlier this week a few of my cousins had texted me about my birthday plans. I had completely forgotten that my birthday was coming up. I had been so focused on the twins and Erik’s birthday that I had forgotten that mine was the same month. Since Erik’s passing, I haven’t really been into celebrating […]
Community Grief
Content Warning: Child loss and suicide Today my heart broke. A family in my community lost their high school aged son to suicide. Details were sparse, but I knew a boy had died and he was about the same age as one of my sons. I sat with the knowledge quietly, as my head […]
Birthday Blues
The twins and Erik’s birthday was this past weekend. Yes, all three of them have the exact same birthday. Leading up to this weekend has always been hard for me since Erik’s passing. I wanted so badly to be happy because it was my babies’ birthday, but trying to balance that of deep sadness that […]
Well, my Daddy is Dead.
Yesterday Charlotte took me by surprise. As we were getting ready for a birthday party I had said something to her about pooping and out of nowhere and just randomly she responds to me by saying, “Well, my daddy is dead”. It stopped me right in my tracks. First, anytime I hear Daddy in our […]
Never Alone
I remember my first Camp Widow like it was yesterday. It was around 8 months after Erik had passed. I was sitting on the same couch that I couldn’t seem to move from and had this overwhelming feeling that I was all alone. There wasn’t anyone in my circle that was a widow and at […]
2800 A Day
On July 20th, I walked out of Michele Neff Hernandez’s keynote address at Camp Widow in San Diego to a text message indicating bad news back home. Thankfully, the text indicated my kids were okay. As I rode the escalator to a quieter part of the hotel my mind raced through scenarios of what the […]
How Are You Doing?
A repost! Join me next week to read all about Camp Widow San Diego 2024! This past weekend someone had asked me how I was doing. This question is one of those common questions you get in conversations and is usually followed by just a casual response of either ‘I’m good’ or ‘I’m fine’ and […]