Here we are yet again. Knee-deep already in another holiday season. This one has been a little different than last. The twins are another year older and understanding more. The excitement and joy of the season for them is just as much, if not more this year. I find myself battling internally with trying to […]
Widowed Parenting
Gearing Up for Christmas
I blinked and Thanksgiving was ages ago, and we are in the thick of Christmas. We’ve decorated the inside of the house, but I’ve made a few changes this year. It’s been so cold; I haven’t put up any outdoor decorations. At this point, I don’t think I will at all. I also didn’t put […]
Sparkly Grief
It’s that time of year yet again. I feel conflicted yet I am trying so hard not to take away from the magic of this season for the twins. The holiday season this year seemed to creep up on me. I was so focused on getting ready for our trip in October that by the […]
Chiefs Love
This year I’ve been gifting the kids experiences for their birthdays instead of traditional presents. Friday, my youngest cashed in on his gift and I took him to his first ever NFL game. We spent our Black Friday tailgating and watching the Kansas City Chiefs take on the Las Vegas Raiders instead of shopping. Tony […]
Daddy is Dead.
Last night was really tough. The twins and I were in our after-school routine, as we were most weekdays. I started the bath as usual and put one twin in after the next. As I began to wash Charlotte’s hair, Wyatt said to me, “I really really really want Daddy, Mommy. He’s taking foreverrrrrr to […]
Thanksgiving Sentiments
It’s Thanksgiving week in the US, and we are bombarded with messaging telling us how to feel. Well wishes telling us to be thankful, or to gather and enjoy each other. The first year, I was annoyed and angry. I wanted to scream when faced with messages of gratefulness. Do not tell me to be […]
If Only.
As I was driving the twins home from school on Friday something hit me. Just out of the blue, I started to full on cry. The kind of crying that I couldn’t do silently. The kind I couldn’t hide. The kind where I felt it deep down in the pit of my stomach. I tried […]
Well, my Daddy is Dead.
A repost! Greetings from Europe…join me next week to read about some of my adventures traveling with the twins for the last two weeks! Yesterday Charlotte took me by surprise. As we were getting ready for a birthday party I had said something to her about pooping and out of nowhere and just randomly she […]
Exploring What Might Help
Today I wish to offer three simple tools to help those of us who are having an especially “off” day. Three fresh ideas or strategies for your back pocket at the ready in advance of your need. Difficult days arrive out of nowhere for new widowed people, or long-time widowed people. […]
“I want to give your kids the world.”
As the twins’ birthday trip nears I have found myself caught in a whirlwind of emotions. More so than normal. Any time I’m getting ready for a trip I find myself thinking of Erik more often than I already do. So why do I continue to do it? Because traveling also makes me feel closest […]
Future Inquiries
“Are we going to get a stepdad?” my then 7-year-old asked me. It had been less than one month since Tony died. Like all deep questions posed by children, this one was at bedtime. It was a question for which I was unprepared. I do remember stumbling through an answer. If my widow memory is […]
Bookmarked
The last few weekends have been so busy for us. Part of it has been trying to fit in all our fall traditions before we leave for the twins yearly birthday trip and the other part was trying to keep up with our daily lives. As the start of the ‘ber months began it just […]