And just like that, we say goodbye to June and hello to July. What a whirlwind of a month June was. I felt like I was holding on to the bumper of a car moving at 100 miles per hour. It was a month full of milestones, memories, and so so many emotions. Looking back […]
Widowed Parenting
Insignificant, Yet Significant
A repost! There are just some things that I can’t seem to part with. For the past three weeks, I have been trying to get rid of a set of bath towels that the twins have been using. It has definitely seen some better days. For some reason, I just can’t seem to say goodbye […]
Mysteries of the Future
In April, I started with a new therapist, and I’ve been seeing her consistently since our first session. Today we were discussing secondary losses towards the end of our session. Just as the bulk of my session was winding down, I hit on a new topic that was bigger than the 2 minutes we had […]
Party Hostess
Tony and I always loved opening our home and hosting friends. We hosted both large and small gatherings, finding joy in both kinds of camaraderie. Since his passing, I haven’t hosted as much as we used to. It’s hard to be a solo parent, juggling all that comes with that, and finding the time to […]
Solo Motherhood
As summer draws near and we are at the finish line for yet another school year, the weight of being a solo parent has been even more apparent lately. First, it started with research and enrollment for kindergarten. The official public school days are about to begin, and I couldn’t wrap my head around it. […]
Wanderlust
A repost! Last week the twins and I returned from my first solo flight with them since Erik’s passing. I had been anticipating this flight for quite some time. All the worries that come with being a solo parent at home seemed so trivial compared to all the worries I had about traveling alone with […]
Me Day
I took a last-minute vacation day last week to spend the day alone. The decision came after looking at the calendar and realizing almost every day between now and the end of school is occupied with kid activities. Once school is over, I’ll have three feral boys in my space all day, every day. I […]
Back to Therapy
In response to feeling overwhelmed lately, I have been buying books and exploring therapy options. It started with ‘The Let Them Theory’ by Mel Robbins a few months ago and I wrote a post on that. Now I’m reading ‘What Happened To You?’ by Bruce D. Perry, M.D., Ph.D. and Oprah Winfrey. I have made […]
The Living Bucketlist
What a world. The twins and I have been on back-to-back trips for the last few months. We recently just got back this past Saturday from a trip to Japan and South Korea and wow, what a trip it was. It was another bucketlist item that Erik and I had. As I continue to travel […]
Death and Holidays
Yesterday was the 4th anniversary of Tony’s passing. In case you missed it, yesterday was also Easter. I have known and dreaded for a full year that these two events would coincide. About a month ago, I checked in with my kids about the date. Bringing the calendar to their attention and getting their thoughts […]
Our Lost Cat
Our cat has been missing for four days, and the anniversary of Tony’s death is in six days. Into that equation go ahead and add that my oldest will be 16 in two days. In summation, I am struggling. I feel like such a failure losing the cat, as the adult in the house it’s […]
The Dreaded Week
Here we are yet again. Another year. Another death anniversary. As this week began, so did the replays. The replays of each day of this week leading up to Erik’s death. The replay of each detail. Each interaction. Each moment. My mind looking for something I might have missed. Running through the what-ifs. Looking, searching, […]