Its funny and a bit fascinating how the idea of “being alone” changes with the decades, with life, and with living through widowhood. Ive always been an independent person. I love being around people, but I NEED my solitude and I need my alone time. When I was 18, I moved from small town Massachusetts […]

In less than two weeks, it will be Thanksgiving. This was Don’s favorite holiday, by far. He loved it for so many reasons. He used to say some version of: “Incredible food, your mom’s apple pie, endless football games, I don’t have to dress up or go anywhere fancy and I don’t need to buy […]

Today is November 6th. Don Shepherds birthday. I woke up and immediately thought about him. The heart knows. The next thing that happened is that I smelled bacon. Mmmm. This made me want to get out of bed, of course, and I went into the kitchen where my “hell of a great cook husband” Nick […]

Thursday, October 27th, was my wedding anniversary. To the dead guy. It would have been 16 years married to each other. But instead, it was and will always be 4 years and 9 months. Now that so many years have gone by since his death, our marriage seems even more tragically cut short than it […]

So here’s the thing …. I wont be attending or presenting at Camp Widow Toronto this year. I just cannot make it work. Almost always in the past, I have been able to somehow make it work. Lots of people in the widowed community have helped to make that happen some years when things are […]

It has now been almost 3 months since my husband Nicks double bypass surgery. The doctors all say that the recovery process is lengthy, even more so for a diabetic, and that it may be 6 months to a year before he feels energetic and active and fully “well” again. His numbers are great, as […]

So i cant make it to Camp Widow Toronto this year, for various money reasons and life reasons. For the first time since I started doing my presentation at the Camp Widow events, I will not be there to participate or to present this time. Nick and I will be in Tampa for Camp Widow […]

Today is one of those Sundays when I cant think of anything to write about. It happens every now and then, and normally, when it happens, I start to panic and I assume that having nothing to write about must mean Im an over the hill and irrelevant widow with nothing more to say, and […]

Tomorrow is my birthday. I will be 51 years old. Don was 46 when he died, and in my mind, he is forever 46. Since he was almost 8 years older than me in life, its always weird to me that I am now older than him forever. Each birthday after my 46th one had […]

On Friday night, my husband Nick and I went to see Eric Clapton in concert. Nick got the tickets for us as an early birthday gift for me, as my birthday is coming up on September 26th. It was a great concert, and he is a very talented musician. However, several factors made the night […]

Feeling some things today in my heart that are a bit all over the place, but also sort of add up to emotions of maybe being thankful or grateful or something in that neighborhood. Finally. Maybe. Sure. On this 21 year anniversary of the horrific events of 9/11/2001, Im feeling thankful to know and to […]

On August 31, 2002, Don Shepherd flew from his home in Florida into Newwark airport, and met me in person for the first time, after we had been marinating in our long-distance/not yet defined relationship / incredible friendship for three and a half years. Because of past trauma I had been through, I was terrified […]