So this week was my husband Nick’s 58th birthday. Because we havent really been out anywhere in so long because of the pandemic, I decided to book us a weekend getaway that is very covid-safe and socially distant. Through Airbnb, I booked us 2 nights at a lakefront cottage with private dock, and even comes […]
Trauma Lives
So, before I share my little story, let me say that everyone is totally fine and nothing bad actually happened to my wonderful husband Nick. He overslept. That is what happened. But because he overslept, he did not answer my calls or my voicemails or my three text messages that I left him, and because […]
Decade
This July, on the 13th of that month, will mark the 10 year anniversary of Don Shepherd’s death. In 10 years, some things have not changed. It has not changed that I still hate using the word “anniversary” when talking about the worst day of my life, and when referencing the death of a human […]
Slowly Back to Life
There was a feeling in my heart last night as I watched President Biden giving his first address to the nation, on the one-year mark of COVID-19 being titled a worldwide pandemic – Hope. I felt hope. And a very slow climb back into living life again. Both of my parents got their first vaccinations […]
Death is a Thief
Does anyone else along this widowed tsunami feel like they were robbed out of something, or out of everything? Does anyone ever feel bitter or angry or resentful of the seemingly easy lives that others get to experience, without any major traumas or sudden shocking deaths to shatter their worlds into a million little pieces? […]
Things in my Brain
Today Is Friday, and I actually am remembering to write in here, instead of rushing around last minute the next day or 2 days later, because I forgot again. So thats something I guess. This whole “widow brain” thing has really melted into more of a “getting older brain” thing, as well as a “pandemic […]
Isolation and Mild Depression
So I was talking with a fellow widowed friend today, and we both came to the conclusion that most of us are probably anywhere from mildly to slightly to moderately depressed, since the pandemic began. The more time that goes by, the longer this goes on, the more time we each have where life is […]
Thoughts from my Head and Stuff
Im coming off of the end of the work week, just got home, remembered that I once again FORGOT to write my Friday blog in here, and I’ve had about 3 hours of sleep last night. So the following may or may not make much sense, and I take no responsibility for the randomness you […]
Superbowl Weekend
So today is February 5th, which is the anniversary of the day that Don Shepherd packed up his entire life into a Penske truck, and drove from Florida to New Jersey to officially move in with me, and begin our life together. At the end of that same year, 2005, he would propose, on the […]
Countdown to Panic Mode
On September 26th of this year, I will turn 50 years old. This has been freaking me out for awhile now. Turning 50. For multiple reasons. First, there’s the whole “I’m older than my dead husband ever got to be” thing, which has been weirding me out ever since I turned 46, which is the […]
Busy Chaotic Struggling Me
So last week I totally forgot to write in here. This is not the first time I have forgotten my widow duties. It has nothing at all to do with getting remarried or not WANTING or needing to write in here. I love writing in here. It has more to do with trying to find […]
Remarried Widow with Questions
So, today is my one-week wedding anniversary. If you read here last week, you would know that on New Years Eve, almost 10 years post-loss, my fiance Nick and I were married in a private, covid-safe ceremony at The Groton Inn – the whole thing live-streamed to Facebook Live. It was unique, it was beautiful, […]