I try not to have regrets about things, because I really do think that one decision led to another decijsionn, and to a growing opportunity of some kind. And also, even my relationships that were heartbreaking or ended badly – were at one point beautiful and filled with real love. It is not always easy […]

Hello friends. Happy Sunday to everyone! Today Id like to write about where I’m at, mentally and emotionally, at this point in life. I am 53 years old, and I have been married twice. This is something I still have a tough time accepting as reality. I never in a million years saw that being […]

Another Valentines Day has come and gone, this time I am single, widowed, AND divorced! Its the trifecta of “ways to have a crappy V.Day!” However, a good widow friend and I had made plans to go to Maine and have a girls weekend where we pampered ourselves, sat by the indoor pool, and got […]

Many years ago, in February of 2005, to be exact, on Superbowl Sunday; Don Shepherd packed up his entire life into a Penske truck attached to his car, and drove with his cat Isabelle in his lap from Florida to New Jersey, to begin a new life with me. Our friends came over to help […]

Lately, Ive been thinking about all the strange ways that grief intersects and interlocks, and how our losses affect us in so many new and different ways as we keep living our lives. I have talked here before about my first love, my first kiss, my high school prom date, the boy I was friends […]

The life of a widow often makes very little sense. The thoughts inside my head often make very little sense. All the things I wish I could tell Don, 13 years later. Many of them would make no sense to tell him, A lot of these things wouldnt even be happening if he were alive, […]

Yesterday was our SSI Regional Group meetup. Four of us met for lunch at a local pizzaria grill type place. My co-leader and I have both been widowed for 12/13 years. The other two ladies that braved the snowy weather yesterday are more newly widowed, both less than a year into this often times unimaginable […]

Last week, my Uncle Richard died. My dad’s brother, who had dementia for 12 years, lost that battle surrounded by his wife, my Aunt Debbie, and his daughters, my cousins. There will be a memorial service in a couple of weeks, and I have offered to help my Aunt write a eulogy, and Im also […]

Im writing very late today, because I just got home from our holiday weekend. Did not want to forget/neglect writing in here two weeks in a row, so better late than never today. Had our family Christmas this weekend at my parents place on Cape Cod. My niece and nephew couldn’t make it, which was […]

My late husband Don was a caregiver by nature. I know I have said this before, but perhaps not in enough detail or with enough bravado to properly explain how caring and patient and loving he was, and genuinely loved being. Yes, he was in EMS for his career choice, but even aside from that, […]

Yesterday I had lunch with two dear widow friends that Ive gotten pretty close with. We started talking about how important it has been for each of us in our life after loss, to find a sense of peace in our life and in our surroundings. We talked about how we had no choices in […]