. . . Mystery awake i wonder where are you now? feeling you is – for me – proof that somehow you still exist. arriving not at my will i wait i wonder waiting wondering is so hard. yet harder still is the mystery… the not-knowing. […]
About Kathie Neff
Bridging the Distance
It’s been one year, five months and five days since you left— 523 days— 12,576 hours 40 minutes— I am keenly aware of your physical absence today, my love. I’m in the city of Newport Beach—the air is cool. The beach out of view. Of many options on the Southern California coast, Newport Beach was […]
Mostly Sweet
Bittersweet Memories Camp Widow’s Pop-Up in Denver was a great success. SO MANY of the yellow name tags which indicate first time campers. Some drove from Mississippi, Texas, and even New York, for this “taste” of what Camp Widow offers. It was a privilege to welcome those waiting in line at the registration table–unsure of […]
BREATHE WHEN LATE!
Just breathing can be such a luxury sometimes—by Walter Kirn Susan Hannifin-MacNab found me at my desk this morning, buried under a long to-do list, fully captured by the computer work I was lost in, and in my imagination she whispered….Kathie! It’s blog day and you’re late! Holy Moly! “Take a breath,” I heard her […]
Never Ready
I can tell you exactly where I was standing . . . and who I was with when I heard that our superman died. “Impossible” I said. We are never fully ready to accept the death of our person. Time is a magician. Even with early warnings that death is near, time suddenly runs out. […]
happy birthday babe
in relation to the years, i feel small marking the memories. i remember when you taught me to light the oven in our first O’Keefe & Merritt stove–light the match, hold the flame to the small hole at the bottom of the oven, turn on the gas. i thought i might blow up the house […]
A Guest House – A Birthday –
and Two Questions How is it possible that Dan’s birthday–the second since his death–is already coming up eleven days from now? Surreal. As a mom of seven, I am used to the arrival of ideas from one or another of my children. How to accomplish one solution or another…what flourishes to add–or ways to contain–an […]
Yay!
For All of Us! We take off our wedding rings… (or) We leave them on… (or) We wear our ring on our neck… We don’t believe in an after-life… (or) We believe our partner is near and talk to our person every day…. (or) We find meaning in places our person has been […]
Fall Down Seven Times
Stand Up Eight On this early morning I am thinking about death. The loss of my beloved life-partner demonstrated death to me on the closest level possible. Which takes me to the next thought, I, too, will die. Thoughts such as this come without warning, arriving like fog. One day they are far from your […]
Camp Crash is Real
and so are Daily Life Crashes Camp Widow San Diego had everything. Mild San Diego weather, California’s sun and surf, and 300+ folks who know exactly how hard widowhood can be. After the last workshop ended, I had a strong collection of ideas, practices, and suggestions for life back at home. I was in great […]
Camp Widow San Diego 2022
Gratitude, Respect, and Wonder Camp Widow is a wrap and the value of storytelling is strong in my being. Images are vivid in my mind. I’m remembering the Well Loved photos of our persons who are honored front-and-center throughout the entire event. I’m thinking about the messages of compassion, help, and hope which met us […]
Widowed Time
A Treasure to be Discovered 7am – the hot summer day barely peeks into my view…when you live in Cali, specifically Riverside, you can tell early on if it will be a hot one. I sit in the sort-of dining room / never quite an office / former in-between-nothing-room and put down words on a […]