RESILIENCE Resilience is the ability to withstand adversity and bounce back from difficult life events. Being resilient does not mean a person doesn’t experience stress, emotional upheaval, and suffering. Resilience involves the ability to work through emotional pain and suffering. — Katie Hurley, LCSW The quote reminds me of the Japanese proverb that says Fall […]
A Widowed Introvert: Part Two
What Grief Adds to the Mix In talking with other introverts, many report that grief adds one more layer to navigate in the world. One more layer in addition to the fact that grief is overwhelming in and of itself. The introvert’s experience of grief is different…for me, it was almost an out-of-body experience. I […]
A Widowed Introvert: Part One
How are things different for me? We are unique widowed beings. Our widowhood contains every experience that formed us throughout our lifetime. We are widowed young, old, and in-between. It is fair to say that the unique markers that we embody is what makes our widowed experience ours alone. And (thankfully) there are uncountable ways […]
Healing Support Tools:
A Simple Dinner Party for Widowed Folk The clutter of food leftovers waiting for containers is evidence of an evening’s gift of food, conversation, kindness, and even laughter! Welcome to the Soaring Spirits Regional Social Group experience! For the first two years of widowhood my inbox featured a regular invitation to join with other widowed […]
Seeking Solutions
Along the Path of Widowhood The cornerstone of my training as a doula comes from Birthing From Within, a process of childbirth education that originated from Pam England’s book, Birthing From Within: An Extraordinary Method of Childbirth Preparation. A few years into my training, I learned a process called Solution-Focused Dialogue. After a year’s practice […]
Poet in Lower Case:
e.e. cummings (here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud and the sky of the sky of a tree called life; which grows higher than soul can hope or mind can hide) –e.e.c. i met edward estlin cummings in high school and was carried away by his trademark […]
5 Remarks That Moved Me
at Camp Widow San Diego: Keynote 2023 There is one talk that most everyone attends on Saturday morning of Camp Widow: The Keynote Speech. I’m sure there are some exceptions, but very few since all the latecomers have arrived by then and it is one of a few talks that finds all of us in […]
It’s Hard Being Widowed
Let me count the ways. Inspired by Elizabeth Barrett Browning’s poem, How Do I Love Thee? written for her husband Robert Browning-1850. The depth and breadth and height of my love matches the depth, breadth and height of my grief; my soul finds you missing, again and again. …I am thinking today of my […]
Revisiting a Story by the Nasturtiums
On the Eve of Camp Widow San Diego — 2023 It is a joy and a privilege to attend Camp Widow’s 15th Anniversary camp in San Diego this Thursday. A-a-a-a-n-d — I am not packed! This is a revised post from February 2022, offering a vision of hope through the lovely nasturtiums. Studying a […]
Widowed Customs: The Ring
Another 4th of July—another wedding anniversary for the books. Dan left on April 15, 2021, so the first anniversary without him came up just three months after his burial. At just over two years of loss, this is my third time to mark our wedding anniversary without him. On this very public holiday in the […]
Thoughts on Time: Night
For as long as I can remember, I’ve had a strange relationship with time. I see time as a formidable adversary; time surely sees me as troublesome or unmanageable. In my mind I imagine a cartoon with a tiny me looking up at a huge clock saying, “You’re not the boss of me!” Time and […]
Healing Support Tools: Widowed Peeps
What kind of support do widowed people need? Many people are familiar with the five stages of grief, but mourning a loved one rarely happens in a clear or predictable manner. You might cycle repeatedly through different emotions, or you may feel everything at once. Every widow or widower processes grief in their own way […]