Season of Dying
“In Asian mysticism and Chinese medicine, Autumn is considered the season of Grief. While summer is associated with the emotion of joy, autumn is associated with both courage and sadness. If you are grieving, you can probably feel the truth of that association for yourself, because, in Autumn, things are dying.”
Is it true that the season of our birth is our favorite season?
I was born in the season of Spring, which I love. Yet, throughout my lifetime, the arrival of Fall casts a spell over me. It pulls me in and I feel it viscerally in my bones.
Fall my brother — Death my sister.
On Day 1028 without Dan, I wrote a poem.
It was October 6, 2021 and I could not find words to express how my body felt coming into my first Fall season after Dan left.
Poetry is a friend to my grieving heart.
When I cannot describe in words what I’m feeling, poetry carries those heavy feelings and somehow lifts me up in the process.
FALL
by Kathleen Neff
Day 1028 in the Bardo of Grief
Autumn leaves turn colors as
summer leaves us,
Autumn night smells of
cinnamon, nutmeg, and memories.
As Fall arrives I
f
a
l
l
into the downward spiral of
grief,
I fall beyond logic,
speeding
down
down
down …
past hopefulness
and endurance
into the dark and endless
hole of grief.
Sometimes, I land
right
here,
hitting bottom
sinking deep into despair.
If Fall hits you hard, you are not alone.
here are some tips from Jill that have helped me . . .
Don’t remain isolated, even though it’s wintertime. Find solace alone when needed, but find company and life in others and from the outside world.
Soothe yourself with some pampering indulgences.
Enjoy comfort foods that warm and nourish the body and soul.
Take a look at other offerings at Jill Cohen’s page (with poems from other widowed people) and remember to watch for the quiet signs of beauty hidden within the Fall leaves.
Speaking about our process can help.
Reach out.
