What a perfect place for me to be during this hard week of loss and memories … a beautiful park just a few blocks from my hotel, those incredibly beautiful lakes in and around the Banff National Forest, reconnecting and meeting in person some of the widowed friends I met online back in 2020 during […]
About Dianne West Garvey
This is the week …
Posting this blog 16 years to the day after Vern passed … and spending this important week here in Calgary, Canada, honoring both Vern’s and Jim’s passings. Vern died September 22, 2010 … Jim died September 26, 2025 I do find it rather amazing that my loss dates fall within the same week, as do […]
September Morn …
Stay with me awhile I only wanna talk with you Losing Jim has brought back many of the feelings I had when I lost Vern nearly 16 years ago. Of course, those feelings never really went away but were tucked in a safe space most days. Perhaps this is a blessing. Both of my men […]
Dear September …
I am not asking for a new life Just a softer space inside this one ~Jess Baird I miss those days I had at the beach but it’s rather nice to be home. Even though I’ve considered moving, this is where I need to be right now. Probably not forever. But who knows? I’m […]
Ocean waves, starry nights = healing magic
My week at the beach was so very lovely. A beautiful gift to myself during such a special week. Two husbands. Two wedding anniversaries. Plenty of time to reminisce. To cry. To rest. To rejuvenate. And I do feel better. Much better. More positive. Ready to try to do a better job at living my […]
Ah … the ocean
“The ocean is blue poetry written in a language the soul somehow understands.” Anonymous I am so very happy I decided to schedule this important week at the ocean. And I was wise to break up my drive into two days – and grateful my car held up through that especially hot drive through the […]
Hello August … Hello Melancholy
For the past 16 years I’ve been visited by a melancholy that begins mid-August and lasts through September. Some years it has spoken quite loudly; other years just a quiet whisper. This year feels especially heavy. I’ve mentioned previously that my two wedding anniversaries and two death dates are very closely connected: I married Vern […]
I’m making a list …
“When something bad happens you have three choices. You can either let it define you, let it destroy you, or you can let it strengthen you.” I’ve certainly let Jim’s death define me during these past 10+ months – and I did it after Vern died, too. Lots of hurts and oh so many tears. […]
I’m Becoming ….
I’ve been posting a lot about aging, I know. That number – 75 – just seemed to consume me and became my identity for all sorts of reasons. Losing Jim. His family. Still missing Vern. Feeling sick. Being alone. But I’m grateful to share that there’s been a much needed change. It’s been subtle, gradual. […]
Happy Birthday, Jim
Jim’s 80th birthday was Thursday. We had talked about doing something extra special in 2026 when I hit 75 and he hit 80 … a trip to Hawaii, perhaps … or maybe even Italy! It was fun thinking about what we might decide to do … until he got so sick and we just took […]
Staring at the blank page before you ….
Spent a lot of time this week reminiscing … reading the old blog I started right after Vern died, looking through photos of special times I had with Jim and with Vern, and beginning to write in a new personal blog for this time in my life after losing Jim. I am so very […]
Aging Gracefully … and Wisely
When I lost Vern I was 59. I felt young – even though a young widowed group on Facebook told me otherwise when they declined my request to join them (55 was their limit). Ouch. Back then the thought of facing 30 years alone was daunting. How would I manage it? Would I have to […]