I fully expected to be able to write today and share the excursions Sheila and I have taken this week. Instead, my only excursions have been to doctor offices. I am so tired of this.

I’m grateful that I’ve been pretty darn healthy most of my 75 years  (in spite of my poor eating habits and lack of any substantial exercise) but this past year has been rather brutal.

• Jim’s health took a big downward turn in May
• I got Shingles in May
• Jim died in September
• I got Covid in October
• I fell down the stairs at my brother’s house on Christmas, resulting in a gluteal hematoma followed by a big permanent dent in my right butt cheek (I’ll spare you the photos but included this description for your comic relief)
• Respiratory/bronchial infection in March
• Ear, nose, throat and eye infections in June

Those 7 day meds I got from Urgent Care last week didn’t give me any relief except for my eye, but I waited a few more days hoping they might just need some extra time. But when I started feeling even worse Thursday afternoon I called my primary and she wanted to see me first thing in the morning.

Headed out early Friday morning for the drive across the mountain to drop Sheila off at my son’s house before going to see my doc. Two new prescriptions. This extreme fatigue and dizziness is taking a toll and she noticed and said I must get some rest to let these drugs work. I mentioned I had a full Saturday … an 8am glaucoma test and then lunch with a friend and the Hell’s Kitchen Broadway show at The Smith Center show that afternoon. She gave me “that look” and pretty much ordered me to not do the lunch and show, stressing again that I needed to get some rest and let these drugs work.

So I cancelled my lunch plans, gave her and another friend my show tickets and left Sheila with my son. Headed home and I crashed. Dr. Chamian was right … I needed to get some good rest to let these drugs work. Napped and slept a lot Saturday-Monday. I’ve missed having Sheila here with me, but it was the best decision to leave her with Jeremy so I had these 3 days to just deal with me and this stinkin’ infection. I do feel better this morning … ear is still plugged but I can now hear some softened sounds and the cough didn’t keep me awake last night. And I’m hoping for some good news from the doc this afternoon.

My neighbor thinks all of this is because I’ve worn myself down with worry and stress due to Jim’s passing and his family’s behavior towards me and I need to “knock it off and get some relaxed rest”. She may be right. I do need to put on “my big girl panties” and get on with life. But that’s easier said than done, isn’t it?  She’s not widowed – and those of us who are understand when they ‘don’t get it’.

So while this is unfortunately yet another negative post about my health, please know that I am doing my very best to try to find my way back to fully living this precious life I’ve been given. Jim and Vern don’t get to be here with me, so I must do this for them …

and for me, too.

I do have some important trips on calendar and already paid for that I must (will!) do:

 

 

 

 

 

 

𖹭  Oceanside, California in August

I married Vern August 23 and I married Jim August 25 and I expect that week to be a difficult one. I’ve found a tiny beachfront apartment to spend my wedding anniversaries. What better place to spend those important days than at the ocean. And I’m taking Sheila with me.

𖹭   Calgary, Canada in September

I’m coming in early to attend a preseason Calgary Flames game. Jer & Christine said since I’m going to Calgary I need to see the Saddledome arena before it’s torn down and I love the Flames goalie, Devin Cooley. Then I’m doing a full day tour of Banff on September 22, the 16 year anniversary of Vern’s passing. He and I had hoped to get to Banff one day, so I can think of no better place for me to be on that day. That weekend I’ll be attending the first Calgary Camp Widow, which falls on September 26, the one year anniversary of Jim’s passing. Fifteen years since I attended my very first Camp Widow.

𖹭  Sacramento, California in November

A widower I met in 2020 when I started holding newly widowed Zoom sessions during Covid is getting married! So I’ll be traveling to Sacramento in November for his wedding. I was thinking of driving it, but my son doesn’t think that’s a good idea. So instead, I’ll fly and rent a car so I can add a visit to Lake Tahoe after the wedding. That was a very favorite spot for Jim an I.