On the 4th Year of Re-membering A Day in Review Writing this post is the last ritual of a day of re-membering the life of Dan Neff. Beloved husband, papa, and grandfather. Greatly missed by many. A good man. After an online workshop in the morning, I went to the cemetery to find our […]
Newly Widowed
Three Reasons
Why It Works A few of us drove to Palm Springs this week to view Camp Widow: The Documentary at the AmDoc Filmfest. In spite of the fact that two of us have been to camp several times, we both cried during the film. Our companion, who has never been to camp, went home after […]
The Story of Three Mothers
and a Camp named Widow “Camp Widow is a gathering for widowed people by widowed people. Over the course of three days, attendees speak candidly about death, forge connections with others over shared experiences of loss, and find ways to navigate the tricky waters of grief. Founded by Michele Neff Hernandez, who suddenly became a […]
Why Speak of it?
Why Speak of Them? Does it matter? As a widow of nearly four years, I wonder how many widowed people just tough-it-out and don’t reach out for help during their early days of widowhood. Or, perhaps they do, but they keep it private. It is possible to have professional grief therapy, counseling, or pastoral care […]
The Physicality of Grief
I remember as soon as Mario passed away, I started having weird, unexpected pains. There were these stabbing type of head pains that I’d never really dealt with before. There were unusual body aches. I really didn’t know what to make of it, so naturally, I turned to searching on the internet – “can grief […]
Why I Return
to the Work of Grieving Grief work feels overwhelming. It takes courage to step toward the work with all the feelings in the way. Sadness that our person is not there. The strange dance of feeling hope and then feeling hopeless. I’m almost 4 years in now and I think the overwhelm is a normal […]
Second career? Or Signs of Sanity?
The Accidental Skills-Course of Widowhood My husband passed away in April 2021 and since then I’ve been in charge of household mishaps, maintenance, and acts of God such as wind, rain, storm, and hail. I’ve also inherited the requirements of a thing that may have been my husband’s biggest challenge: my big ideas. When we […]
On St. Valentine’s Day
A Valentine of the One Left Behind What does one do about Valentine’s day If you are the one left behind? It feels pretty wretched when February returns and Saint Valentine’s Day marks time. “Remember when we went to Running Springs?” I ask, recalling the cabin’s surprise. “When you mused about dead flowers in bowls […]
The One and the Many
Tai Chi and Widowhood The year twenty twenty-five is the year of Tai Chi for me. On Monday, Wednesday, and Friday at 10am, my friend and I step into a room with about twenty other seniors and follow the instructors as they lead us through a half-hour practice of Tai Chi. Classes are about 10 […]
What is Story?
How does story impact grief? The personal narrative of our life, often called Our Story, belongs to only us. Others may have shared life with us, but our perspective and interpretation is ours alone. We humans are meaning-makers and our mind is geared to make conclusions about the problems, pleasures, and predicaments we face over […]
A Deeper Look
How Am I? Last week’s post skimmed the surface of a deep-dive topic. In some ways, the question “How am I?” is a question relevant in the aftermath of any significant trauma or loss. The bloggers on Widow’s Voice come forward with how life looks and feels for them in hope that you might find […]
How do we know?
Are we truly getting better? I’m trying to remember what I was looking for when seeking signs that I am doing “better” in the early days of being widowed. If I remember correctly, I took stock quite often in the beginning. I didn’t lose my keys yesterday. Only melted down over my bills twice […]