Well … I must say that I’m quite happy that June is in my rearview mirror. And it occurred to me that perhaps there might have been a subliminal reason for why I was sick for nearly that whole month. Jim’s Celebration of Life was held in June No – I wasn’t invited No […]
Newly Widowed
Don’t Let the Hard Days Win
I fully expected to be able to write today and share the excursions Sheila and I have taken this week. Instead, my only excursions have been to doctor offices. I am so tired of this. I’m grateful that I’ve been pretty darn healthy most of my 75 years (in spite of my poor eating habits […]
I guess that’s why they call it the blues …
It’s been a quiet week with no appointments, no hockey, nothing to do except let those antibiotics do their thing. But maybe that wasn’t the best way to spend a full week … because too much free time can emphasize the missing of both Jim and Vern and some of the other heavy stuff I’m […]
Widow Brain
Facebook can sneak into our lives without us initially realizing what they are up to. Using AI they create these beautiful stories that feel like a real person wrote it – but they’re really just selling their product. I’ve nearly fallen for them in the past, but now I try to remember to look to […]
My Knights .. My Heart
This was a busier week than usual for me. And while I hit a wall at the end of it all, it was all worth it. My next door neighbor needed some rides to/from the airport due to her husband’s medical crisis that arose while he was visiting his daughter in Texas. Doing good deeds […]
Permission to Live
You know I’ve been through all of this before … nearly 16 years ago. The years of heavy caregiving leading to the loss of my love, the emotions, the disappointments, the sadness, the loneliness, the missing. The grief. And now all of that is on repeat. 8 months out. Some think this should be […]
Memories … I have a few
“Separation is an illusion. Though your loved ones are not physically with you, they are with you spiritually and energetically. They live in you and through you. They are ever with you, as close as your breath. When you are overwhelmed with missing their ‘form’, remember that their essence is woven into the fabric of […]
It Is What It Is
To honor the strength it takes to face what we did not choose—and to recognize the quiet courage within ourselves and others that rises up to meet it. Oprah Daily Intention, April 4, 2026 I survived ‘the visit’ just fine (reference last week’s post). As usual, my thoughts and fears beforehand were far […]
Awaiting the Unknown
So they’re coming this afternoon … I’ve boxed up all of the things for them to take away. Lots of photos that I know they want and a lot of other things I hope they will want. I read a few more of those letters Jim wrote to Estelle from Vietnam and they are just so […]
Ya gotta feel all the feelings
… and I’ve sure been doing a lot of ‘feeling’ lately. Feeling Jim’s absence here in our home as the days, weeks, months pass. Feeling my age … in my brain and in my body. I just don’t have the energy to “people” – to put on that happy face for others. I have a […]
For Better or For Worse
I just found this newspaper cartoon clipping in Jim’s bedside drawer. It was folded up in a basket of miscellaneous keys, coins and receipts so I hadn’t yet taken the time to sort through all of it. I love Iris’ words: “We made a commitment … and although it’s not easy, this is all part […]
Alone Again, Naturally
I went to the hockey game by myself last night. Round 1, Game 1 of the Stanley Cup Playoffs for my Vegas Golden Knights. Sold my extra ticket online to a stranger (who didn’t show up for the game) but I was surrounded by young couples having a great time. Our official Golden Knight […]