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Widowed Birthdays

30

Posted on: December 6, 2020 | Posted by: Victoria Helmly

Well, tomorrow I turn 30. A new decade for me. One where Boris will never physically be present. I am struggling with that.  Here’s what you should know about me: I am a planner. I love to make lists and keep a detailed calendar. Without it, things feel too uncertain and too messy. Before Boris […]

Categories: Widowed, Widowed & Unmarried, Widowed Birthdays, Widowed Milestones, Widowed Suddenly, Widowed by Suicide

Make a Wish

Posted on: November 30, 2020 | Posted by: Staci Sulin

I have learned that grief evolves.  It changes with time and hard work.  The changes are not always linear, but they do occur.  Grief is not everlasting, if you don’t want it to be.  There is a new life to be found, if you look for it.  There is opportunities to find small moments of joy if you are open to it.  If you aren’t, then that is a choice too.  But, that choice is wrongminded for me.  I have life.  I didn’t die.  So, to honor Mike, I will continue to try to live the best life I can.  Life has been denied to him, but it is still available to me – my birthday reminds me of this.

Categories: Widowed, Widowed and Healing, Widowed Birthdays, Widowed Emotions, Uncategorized

Champagne Dreams and Lost Love Legacies

Posted on: November 14, 2020 | Posted by: Bryan Martin

Yesterday was my 42nd birthday. I’m unbelievably grateful for the outpouring of celebration especially on social media where so many of us are finding community during a pandemic. I decided that the day should start with a toast to lost loves and no better way than a glass of Veuve Clicquot champagne – The Widow’s […]

Categories: Widowed, Widowed & Unmarried, Widowed Memories, Widowed and Healing, Widowed Birthdays, Widowed Anniversaries, Widowed Milestones, Widowed Emotions, LGBTQ+ Widowed, Widowed by Illness

Grief’s Rewinding

Posted on: August 29, 2020 | Posted by: Bryan Martin

It has been 866 days since Clayton past away, 867 days since I said “I love you” and kissed him on the forehead for the last time. Those first few days after he died felt like years. Every minute was the first of that minute without him. Every day was the first Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday […]

Categories: Widowed, Widowed & Unmarried, Widowed Memories, Widowed Birthdays, Widowed Anniversaries, Widowed Holidays, Widowed Milestones, Widowed Emotions, LGBTQ+ Widowed, Widowed by Illness

39 and Counting

Posted on: July 26, 2020 | Posted by: Sarah Treanor and Mike Welker

Mike and Sarah share Sunday posts, as they are two widows who are in a new relationship together. Today’s post is from Mike: Hey Babe,   I’m writing this to you a few day’s belated.  It’s been 6 years now since the last time Shelby or I was able to say “Happy Birthday” to your […]

Categories: Widowed, Widowed Parenting, Widowed Memories, Widowed Birthdays, Widowed by Illness

Remembering You on Your Birthday

Posted on: July 18, 2020 | Posted by: Bryan Martin

Tuesday morning I woke up and wasn’t sure how to navigate your birthday. I went to work. I did the things. I stressed wanting to stay calm and collected but also find a way to celebrate you. If you were here, I would have today off. We would have a lazy morning with Roan. We […]

Categories: Widowed, Widowed & Unmarried, Widowed Memories, Widowed Birthdays, Widowed Emotions, LGBTQ+ Widowed, Widowed by Illness, Miscellaneous

The Wrong Kind of Dates

Posted on: March 31, 2020 | Posted by: Emma Pearson

About a year ago, I ventured a little toe into the on-line dating waters. Everything about the idea was absurd, unfathomable, unimaginable. Before that, I’d had a couple of months where I bravely, if hesitantly, asked trusted friends, “Do you know anyone who knows anyone who knows anyone (etc) who might know a nice man […]

Categories: Child Loss, Widowed, Widowed and Healing, Widowed and New Love, Widowed Birthdays, Widowed Anniversaries

Having All Your Birthdays In One Day – Version 2020

Posted on: March 22, 2020 | Posted by: Staci Sulin

This year, I planned to be in Hawaii during Mike’s birthday; but COVID-19 travel advisories lead me to cancel my trip.  The events that are unfolding around the world have reinforced what grief has already taught me – nothing is in our control.  Nothing in life is constant. 

The only thing certain in our lives is change.  Mike’s death has taught me to accept that life is messy and unpredictable; and in this way I am somewhat mentally and emotionally ready to handle the current crisis.  I am used to isolation and living with a sense of uncertainty because I have lived this way since the day he died.  Sadly, all of this feels very familiar to me.  *Sigh.

Categories: Widowed, Widowed Memories, Widowed and Healing, Widowed Birthdays, Widowed Anniversaries, Widowed Milestones, Widowed Emotions

Picking at Grief Scabs

Posted on: March 3, 2020 | Posted by: Emma Pearson

February is weird. Always slightly off. As a kid, I found it weird that there were only 28 days in the month. Then 29 days just as we were getting used to the 28 day pattern. I wondered in awe at the brilliance of the scientists from so long ago who figured out that we […]

Categories: Child Loss, Widowed, Widowed Birthdays, Widowed Anniversaries, Widowed Emotions, Widowed Signs from Loved One, Widowed Community, Multiple Losses

I Forgot…

Posted on: March 1, 2020 | Posted by: Staci Sulin

In our community, “Grief Math” is common practice. We all do it.  We keep track of dates.  We mark dates. We “celebrate” dates. We honor our person on certain days. And, daily, we privately attempt rough calculations – in our heads –  regarding random dates and their deadness.    We complete these elaborate calculations involving […]

Categories: Widowed, Widowed Memories, Widowed and Healing, Widowed Birthdays, Widowed Anniversaries, Widowed Holidays, Widowed Milestones, Uncategorized

Quagmire

Posted on: March 1, 2020 | Posted by: Sarah Treanor and Mike Welker

Sunshine and mild temperatures don’t mean that the worst is over…they simply mean that the weather that will floor you comes from the ground up.

Categories: Widowed, Widowed Memories, Widowed Birthdays, Widowed Anniversaries, Widowed Holidays, Widowed Emotions, Widowed by Illness

Grief, Milestones, and Motherhood

Posted on: February 16, 2020 | Posted by: Sarah Treanor and Mike Welker

Maybe the very hardest part about being a mom as someone who has lost their own mother so young, is that I cannot ever turn off one wish. That strongest of wishes that I could will a miracle upon miracles for her and bring her mother back.

Categories: Child Loss, Widowed Parenting, Widowed Birthdays, Widowed Milestones, Multiple Losses

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