Yesterday marked the one-year anniversary of my mother’s passing. On February 21st last year, I was on my way up north to what I’d hoped would be some quiet final moments with her as her condition had worsened and she’d been released to the care of my brother John’s family in New York State. But, I did not make it in time. During my layover in the Charlotte Airport, I received a call from my brother telling me my mom had slipped away at age 98.
From what I’m told, she knew I was on the way and as sometimes happens, the soon to-be-departed depart on their own terms, sparing us the painful finality of that tough-to-get-through moment. I’m glad for a special visit I had with her in New York just a few weeks before.
She and my dad had spent some time in Georgia and Florida during the last five years. When my dad passed in April 2023, she wanted to return north. Although she couldn’t return to our family home in Hackensack, NJ, I’m glad she was able to get a place that meant something to her past and to have family members nearby in her final moments.
My mother was a big animal-lover, but she had her limit. I can barely remember Mittens, a kitten who’s “last straw” was to knock down the freshly decorated Christmas tree when I was just five years old, or a beagle who briefly stayed in our lives, but was rehomed after wreaking havoc in our household. I’ve been told they were both placed in good homes, just not our’s. When I received a tiny chocolate-colored toy poodle for my tenth birthday, it would ultimately fall to my mom to be that dog’s true care-giver. She put up with all the frogs, snakes, turtles, mice, gerbils, rabbits, fish, birds, cats, dogs we brought home and when we lived in Boulder, CO for nine months, welcomed the foster horse my late-sister cared for in our backyard that came equipped with a barn.
I fondly refer to our family household in Hackensack as the Menagerie on the Hill.
As a board member for the Dog Writers Association of America, I have sponsored grants for the winners of one or more of our Special Awards categories. I currently sponsor an award in my late-sister’s name for those who write about the misunderstood “bully breeds” and I’m grateful that Americal Legion Post 348 in Brick Township continues to sponsor the Captain Will Judy Award for the writing on the role of Military Dogs on and off the field (My late-husband, Rich, served as the Bar Chairman for that Post for many years).
I also offered to sponsor a Special Award established for my mother for an article, or any media, that promotes and enlightens the public about the positive impact of Spay and Neuter initiatives. Sadly, I was disappointed when informed that there had been no entries this year! Several years ago, I’d won the Special Award in that category then sponsored by the North Shore Animal League.
I took the money I’d alloted for that “neglected” award category and used it locally for a group I’ve been working with here in rural Central Florida where a new Spay and Neuter trailer is scheduled to serve this region beginning this spring. On Valentine’s Day, the folks at Yaupon Brothers Tea donated their lovely venue of Eagles Nest Farm for a fundraising event to help raise money and awareness for this major, complex initiative that will hopefully bring about much-needed change.
I am fascinated with that farm located just 10 minutes from my home, originally established as a citrus farm in 1900 and according to their website is, “one of Florida’s pioneers in organic farming.” Certified organic in 1990, the property was acquired by the Yaupon Brothers American Tea team in 2023, now offering tours, sales of tea and honey and a beautiful venue for weddings and other occasions. A hidden gem among so many here in Old Florida!
As the awards are presented in February, also Spay and Neuter Awareness Month, I hope that my fellow dog-writers will step to the plate next year and use their words and media outlets to help promote Spay and Neuter to alleviate the growing number of homeless and neglected cats, dogs and other animals throughout the nation. In honor of this Awareness Observation I composed this little ditty:
Stem the tide (Spay and Neuter)
Give ’em a ride (Transport helps!)
And a good home in which to reside (Adopt and Foster, or help out a rescue organization)
My volunteer work and writing have been a centering force for me, especially these last few really “ruff” years. I’ve completed a submittable draft of my memoir and currently have eyes-on. This book chronicles my life-time relationship with my dogs and other pets, my late dog-loving husband, and my adopted blind dog, Quint who has helped me to continue to move forward. It’s my biggest hope that this project gets picked up and can be shared with the wider-world in the near future.
Each day I try to be the best person I imagine that my passed family hopes I can be. That’s a positive way for me to honor so many of my family members that have gone on and helps me to make some sense of it all.
Until then, I will move on to my next writing project, one that is dear to my heart and needs to be revived! I hope you all can find some purpose, mixed with moments of levity, and do some good despite difficult circumstances and challenges.
