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Widowed Milestones

My Grief Ghost Visits the Week Before Widowed

Posted on: April 10, 2021 | Posted by: Bryan Martin

I knew he was fading away faster and faster. I knew that Tin’s last day was soon but you don’t know until you know. We fit in frozen yogurt, going out to dinner, the beach and visiting the aquarium just one last time. I didn’t know it was the list of lasts. I didn’t know […]

Categories: Widowed, Widowed & Unmarried, Widowed Memories, Widowed Anniversaries, Widowed Milestones, Widowed Emotions, LGBTQ+ Widowed, Widowed by Illness

My Why, Why, Why~

Posted on: April 7, 2021 | Posted by: Alison Miller

Raise your hand if you’ve been asked why you still talk about your dead person. Raise your other hand if you’ve been judged as hanging on. Stand up if you’ve been asked how long will this grief continue? Now stand on the nearest chair and balance really well. This chair is your soapbox. You don’t […]

Categories: Widowed, Widowed Memories, Widowed Milestones, Widowed Emotions, Widowed Community, Military Widowed, Widowed by Illness

Hollow (third edition)

Posted on: April 5, 2021 | Posted by: Staci Sulin

Outwardly, my life has remained stable and solid.  In many ways I am a vision of “widowed success”.  I returned to a good career, I still have the house, the car, and the kids.  On the outside, the condition of my life looks good.   Aside from Mike’s death, my life may even be enviable to some; but things are not as they appear.  Like the aesthetically pleasing chocolate bunnies, I look to be well dressed and professionally presented; but, inside me there is something lacking.  Inside of me, the landscape of my Soul is barren – or at least it was for many years.  For a long time after he died I was hollow inside like the foil bunnies.  On the inside of me there was ‘nothing’.  Where there used to be unbridled joy there was emptiness.

Categories: Widowed, Widowed and Healing, Widowed Holidays, Widowed Milestones, Widowed Emotions, Widowed Suddenly

Three Years.

Posted on: April 4, 2021 | Posted by: Victoria Helmly

April 7th marks 3 years since Boris died. 3 years since I have seen his face, heard his voice, or touched him. I honestly do not know how I survived the last 3 years. In the first few weeks and months, the loss consumed every part of me. I still think about him every single […]

Categories: Widowed, Widowed and Healing, Widowed Anniversaries, Widowed Milestones, Widowed Emotions, Widowed by Suicide

The Miles Under Me~

Posted on: March 31, 2021 | Posted by: Alison Miller

I walked down 15 steps on that long ago day that was both yesterday and years ago, 3 weeks after your death. I carried my suitcases. Your suitcase. All the assorted bags carrying all our worldly belongings. I gently placed the urn carrying your cremains in the passenger seat. It felt warm to the touch. […]

Categories: Widowed, Widowed Memories, Widowed Milestones, Widowed Emotions, Military Widowed, Widowed by Illness

Uncharted Territory

Posted on: March 30, 2021 | Posted by: Emma Pearson

Photos my own Yesterday I had my 54th birthday. An age Mike never made. He made 53 and 8 ½ months-ish. I was aware, to the date, 8th December 2020, when I became the age, to the actual day, that he died. Every day since then has felt even more like a gift. I noticed […]

Categories: Child Loss, Widowed, Widowed and New Love, Widowed Birthdays, Widowed Milestones, Widowed by Illness, Multiple Losses

Less is More

Posted on: March 29, 2021 | Posted by: Staci Sulin

My worldly possessions feel heavy.  They are housed in my home and chain me to a life that I no longer wish to participate in.  I don’t give a shit about the stuff on my walls or the sofa across from me.  It is all meaningless to me.  What can it do for me?  What does it do for anyone really?

Moving forward, I do not want things.  What matters to me is the feel of things, not the actual things.  I want to live a full and joy filled life that draws inspiration from experiences – not stuff.  And, sure, it is true, I do like nice things; but material things do not fill my heart with happiness.  In fact, my worldly possessions feel weighty to me.  They feel like a burden to me.  In the near future, I hope to travel and I do not want to have to worry about storing my things while I am gone. To me, more is less.

Categories: Widowed, Widowed Memories, Widowed and Healing, Widowed Milestones, Widowed Belongings, Widowed Emotions, Widowed Suddenly, Uncategorized

The Grief Keeper

Posted on: March 27, 2021 | Posted by: Bryan Martin

For almost 3 years, I have been writing each week. I missed a few here and there but that’s life. Year 1 was a fog. Year 2 was sharp realizations. Year 3, I finally accepted that Clayton was not coming back and it was time to focus less on losing him and more on keeping […]

Categories: Widowed, Widowed & Unmarried, Widowed Memories, Widowed and Healing, Widowed Anniversaries, Widowed Milestones, Widowed Emotions, LGBTQ+ Widowed, Widowed by Illness

Having All Your Birthdays in One Day – take 5

Posted on: March 22, 2021 | Posted by: Staci Sulin

It is Mike’s 65th birthday today. On March 22nd, I will always “celebrate” him.  There will never be a birthday of his that I don’t think tenderly of him. On his birthday I purposefully choose to remember the way he lived. I  celebrate the life and love we shared together. This is how I try […]

Categories: Widowed, Widowed Memories, Widowed and Healing, Widowed Birthdays, Widowed Milestones, Widowed Emotions, Widowed Suddenly, Uncategorized

Bachelor of Grief

Posted on: March 20, 2021 | Posted by: Bryan Martin

I never wanted to apply and enroll here at Widowed University. I’ve always been opened to learning more in life but I never wanted this education. Like I said last week, the build up to Clayton’s death day is one of the hardest times of the year for me. Two years last April I got […]

Categories: Widowed, Widowed & Unmarried, Widowed Without Children, Widowed Memories, Widowed and Healing, Widowed and New Love, Widowed Anniversaries, Widowed Milestones, Widowed Belongings, Widowed Emotions, LGBTQ+ Widowed, Widowed by Illness

Love Onscreen~

Posted on: March 17, 2021 | Posted by: Alison Miller

It’s habit with many in the widowed community to talk to their dead people. To write to them on the regular. I admire this. I really do. I’m envious, honestly. In these 7 years since Chuck’s death I haven’t been able to write to him, or talk to him. There’s just a block of some […]

Categories: Widowed, Widowed Milestones, Widowed Emotions, Military Widowed, Widowed by Illness

Crumpling Face Like No Other

Posted on: March 16, 2021 | Posted by: Emma Pearson

Images of Geraldine Chaplin taken from “The Crown” on Netflix I continue to watch “The Crown”, at the rate of one or two episodes a week. I started in January and perhaps I will have finished all four series by the end of April if curfews stay in place. Every so often after an episode […]

Categories: Child Loss, Widowed, Widowed Anniversaries, Widowed Milestones, Widowed Emotions, Widowed by Illness, Multiple Losses

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