My mom passed just a little over a month ago and I’m feeling that loss more strongly these days. It seems to compound the other losses experienced by myself and my family over the past two and a half years. I especially feel it in the early evening when she’d always call me like clockwork. No matter where I was, or what I was doing, I took that call understanding that one night it would be the last.
She always wanted to know how I was feeling and what I was up to. I miss those calls. The last one happened on the day after I’d moved down to Florida to launch a new chapter, a fresh start. The next morning she suffered a stroke and we could only communicate with the help of a staff member at her rehab facility. She often couldn’t find her words, but with time and therapy she recovered enough so that we had some nice conversations. I was fortunate to be able to fly up to New York and spend some time with her and I treasure those visits.
Before that day, she’d remarked that although she wanted to visit me in my new log home, she was resigned to the fact that she could no longer make such a long journey from New York to Florida. But I know it made her happy to understant that I’d made some positive steps forward with decisions that had me forging a new start in my life.
She and Rich were close and I know she felt his loss and worried about my Post-Rich future. After she lost my dad in April of last year and became a fellow-member in The Tribe of After, she told me she had a new appreciation for all I’d been through.
So much of the actions of my past few years have focused on managing the lives of both of my parents. As their Power of Attorney, I was their advocate on many fronts at a time when I was struggling just to handle my own affairs. Overseeing their care, paying bills and maintaining their properties from afar, however, was a purposeful “distraction”. The day after Rich’s passing, my mom came to stay with me for a few months so it is only recently I’ve had no family responsibilities and brings yet another period of adjustment.
Just eight days before my mother’s passing, I found myself making an impulsive decision to adopt a bordie collie mix puppy from ARK, the Animal Rescue Konsortium, located just down the road from me. Jackson, named for my Dad, is an adorable handful – a handsome pup with lots of self-directed energy. He has brought a new life and vibe in to our household. Last week I had the dog obedience trainer from ARK in for a session. “Sit, Stay, Heel” are the building blocks for creating a healing relationship between dog and human. The “heel” command is intended to keep a dog safely by your side. I’m considering agility training with Jackson when he is a little older as he will be a natural.
This past week, a dog hoarding case in Putnam County, Florida, (where we are located) resulted in well over 100 cases of neglected dogs removed from the home of an elderly hoarder. Many rescue groups stepped up to organize a network of help; screening the dogs for behavior issues and health status before rehoming. However, when the county chose to “help” several unaltered dogs that hadn’t been screened or assessed, were given away to the public who “promised” to have them spayed or neutered. It’s a sad day when the experienced efforts of seasoned rescuers are dismissed so readily by those who think they know best and wish to take credit for the work of others. I truly hope that these dogs are properly cared for and none meet a sad fate in the hands of those with bad intentions. ARK has accepted over a dozen of these dogs and now faces the challenge of rehabbing and rehoming them.
The presence of pets, especially dogs, in the lives of The Widowed can play a major impact on mental and physical health. I recall during the early days of loss, when human companions were not always available, how my rescue pup Quint accompanied me when I might not have ventured out on my own. Quint, a multipoo who was born blind to a homeless dog in California, has been with me from the start of my widowhood. Quint, and his mom and litter, are alive due to another rescue group, R & R Sanctuary who stepped in from afar to bring them to safety.
Whether it was a trip to Lowes, Walmart or a riverfront park, wherever we were welcome, we ventured. The adorable fluff ball at my side attracted a smiling crowd and we were both better for it. Our dogs bring us happiness and countless health benefits and when I see their lives mismanaged or worse, I can’t help but also mourn the ingnorance of so many who don’t understand it, but I’m grateful for those who do.
I will share the antics of Jackson and his life in a log cabin here and on my author/artist Facebook. Please give it a Like and follow us at as for news and develpments. I appreciate it! Have a great “heeling” week. https://www.facebook.com/LisaBeginKruysmanAuthorAndArtist