I know it’s a good “problem” to have, but maintaining three homes and four dogs can put a nice hurtin’ on the balances of ‘ye old credit cards. When I got a nice offer from a credit card company recently with a no interest balance transfer for 18 billing cycles I was all in. After several […]
Widowed Therapy
Repeat After Me…👩🏻🏫
I’m a Bad🤨$$, you’re a Bad🤨$$, we are ALL Bad🤨$$es!!! The past few weeks have left me exhausted and depleted, once again. Yes, there has been some joy and fun, but between planning my daughter’s 13th birthday party, surviving another Mother’s Day, my daughter’s trip to Puerto Rico, and a few other energy-consuming events, this Memorial […]
Once Upon a Time…👑
…In a Far, Far Away Kingdom 👸🏻 In the kingdom of a city in the USA, there lived a beautiful, brave, brave princess. She had just entered teenagehood, and she lived with her loving parents, the King and Queen, her older brother, the Prince, and the royal pet, June, the collie-lab mix. They lived a […]
Scrambled Thoughts 🍳 with a Side of Trauma.
⌛️ It has been 842 days, 13 hours, and 41 minutes. Roughly 2 years, 3 months, and 22 days. But the trauma, the slow agonizing torture, started for me more than five years ago with his terminal brain cancer diagnosis. It blindsided us. If your person was ill for a while, you know what I […]
Hi, My Name is Liliana…
THE MORNING I WALKED INTO A GRIEF SUPPORT GROUP I sat there, in my car, for what felt like an eternity. It was a cold, overcast Thursday morning in mid-February 2024, just like in the movies. I drove one hour to a city in Virginia to attend a Loss of Spouse Grief Share support Group, […]
Touch Deprivation
A friend and I were recently talking about the touch deprivation experienced in widowhood. It’s one of those extra layers of loss that not everyone thinks about. But it reminds me of everyone touting the importance of skin-to-skin contact when a new baby is born. We use touch to express affection, and I don’t mean […]
The Dance Crew
Last week, I spent 4 perfect days in Cabo with a handful of my widow friends. It takes a little more work to get to Mexico, so our entire crew wasn’t able to join for this one. But the 5 of us made the most of our time together. Contrary to what an outsider might […]
Grief Does Not Take A Vacation During Vacation
It never fails to bum me out that I cannot / am no longer obligated to call my Mom when I am leaving for a trip, arrive at the first and subsequent destinations, and call her at least every couple days. She did not use a cell phone, so it always had to be a […]
Mysteries of the Future
In April, I started with a new therapist, and I’ve been seeing her consistently since our first session. Today we were discussing secondary losses towards the end of our session. Just as the bulk of my session was winding down, I hit on a new topic that was bigger than the 2 minutes we had […]
Memories Well-Coached
Tomorrow is Father’s Day and I’ll take this opportunity to write first a little about the special bond my late dad, Jack, had with my late husband Rich. There were some commonalities. My father’s middle name was Richard and they’d both served in the United States Navy, my dad also a member of the US […]
Me Day
I took a last-minute vacation day last week to spend the day alone. The decision came after looking at the calendar and realizing almost every day between now and the end of school is occupied with kid activities. Once school is over, I’ll have three feral boys in my space all day, every day. I […]
My Evolving Relationship with Old Routines
I started running again the past week. My usual route, 3 miles around the lake a few minutes from my house, and the neighborhood I grew up in. This has been my usual nightly running route on and off for the past 15+ years, though it’s a trail I have been traversing since I was […]