It’s been four weeks since I’ve returned from Camp Widow in San Diego, however, the experience of that conference still resonates and inspires. It was enlightening to  cross paths with nearly 600 individuals who’ve lost their spouses, or significant others;

I gained  knowledge, insight and growth from presenting my Writing Work Shop which only accounted for a one and a half hour period of my Camp Widow experience. Being a presenter is no easy task and I appreciated the unique messages and themes inherent in each presenter’s session that often made it difficult to select.  

Early during my stay at the San Diego Marriott Marqui, that served as Camp Widow Headquarters, I made the acquaintance of Martha Giansanti, a Spiritual Medium, who was there to present on the topic of the signs we receive from our departed Loved Ones. 

I’d happened to sit next to Martha at a table near the fire pits and bar area on my first night of the conference. I recall asking her when her workshop would take place and saying that although I’d already signed up for another one, her topic intrigued me.

I told Martha about the recurring flashing light in my kitchen which seemed to blink and strobe with different energies, often when I was confronted with important challenges. I relayed that I was convinced that it was the energy of my late husband, Rich, trying to reach out to me.

After our first chat, I happened upon Martha several times. I took that as a sign that I was meant to attend her workshop. That late Saturday afternoon, after I’d finished with my own presentation, I’d taken some time off in my room to recover. I truly didn’t want to invest in the time and energy to freshen up and return to the conference rooms where the final presentations of Camp Widow would take place.

But I did. I was there to learn, and to appreciate the efforts of my fellow-presenters, so I summoned my higher powers and made my way to Martha’s workshop. Martha was “up against” another popular presenter, my fellow-blogger Kelly Lynn who was offering some comic-relief with her humor-infused session. Everyone needs a good laugh, especially those who don’t laugh that much anymore, but I found myself drawn to the back of Martha’s conference room.

While at Martha’s more hushed and serious event, I’d catch muted sounds of laughter from the other room. It made me smile to think of all those enjoying her talk. But I’d wanted to learn more about the signs of our dearly departed and I left Martha’s session believing more than ever that our loved ones can expend a great deal of effort and energy to let us know they are still in our orbit and wishing us well, and that sometimes there comes a time when they need to move on.

Not long ago, “Rich’s flashing light” as I’d come to call it finally burned out, but not without a good fight. That light took forever to permanently dim. I recall not wanting to change it, but when that bulb was finally replaced, it  glowed strongly and steadily not a flash to be had. Maybe his work was done. I sometimes miss those erratic, spontaneous “signs” from Rich, but I think maybe he needed to go and expend his energy on other things, or people, in need of his presence. I accept that and I’m happy for the nearly two years that he found the energy to flash for me, and sometimes even for some special guests who’d come to visit. He wanted to be part of the gang.

Not long ago I had a dream that I followed a group of people into the darkness. We’d all been enjoying an evening at someone’s home, and then, just like that, they all decided to up and leave. I followed them, but it was too late. They were nowhere to be found and when I turned I realized that in the darkness I could not find my way back to the safety of where I’d been. I stood and calmly waited until I finally woke up.

Sleepily scrolling on my phone I found a facebook memory with a photo of my late sister, Manette, that I’d taken just months before her passing. It would be our last time spent outside in the backyard of her dream home in our hometown of Hackensack, NJ. 

And there she was illuminated by the bight summer sun light, a light that seemed to be there to guide me along the path that now finds me beginning new chapters and adventures. It made me realized that I’m never lost for long before someone takes a turn to light my path.

And then just like that, a few days later, Rich found a way to lead me down a literal life-changing path that has started me on my way to a new adventure which I hope to share with everyone soon.

There are always signs if we are open to seeing them.

Have a great weekend and week ahead.