Happy Sunday, peeps! Sometimes, this life after loss thing feels so surreal to me I can barely take it. At times, it feels as if the life I am living is a life I dont even recognize as me, and I wonder would my dead husband Don recognize it, if he were randomly no longer […]
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Winter Doldrums
Mid-January. I can count on consistent cold for at least another couple of months. My rational mind knows better, but I sometimes wonder whether the sun permanently has vanished behind thick and impenetrable gray clouds, low, menacing, and, […]
A Grief of My Own – 2022 Addendum
I wrote the original blog in August of 2020 and a lot has changed in my life since then, but this blog is still so very relevant. I have added my current thoughts into the original piece to highlight how grief is not static. The process of grief is long. Much longer than I thought […]
Old Shoes
I met Donna and Craig in the 1970s. We have been very close friends for nearly a half century. Fresh from law school, my first job as a clerk for a state appellate court judge required me to relocate to the medium sized city where the judge resided. I was married at this time, but […]
Guitar, Ukulele, Guitar
So those of you who follow me here or have read my book or have kept up with my grief and life “tsunami”, as I call it, know that my dead husband Don loved music. (you probably also know that I use terms like “grief tsunami” and “dead husband” because I hate the terms “grief […]
The More Things Change…
My first email of 2022 contained the subject line, “Greetings from Lee.” In her email, Lee apologized for not previously sending along certain linked photographs. Of course, I highly doubted this message was sent to me by Lee, since it’s now going on two years that she died. Additionally, looking at the URL coupled with […]
Building My Wings on the Way Down Reflection
I wrote this post in 2018 and included an addendum at the end for how things feel this year, in 2022. Ringing in the new year without you is something I never want to do. This year, or ever. No matter how much time passes, no matter how my life changes; and no matter where […]
Don’t Make the Best of it. Own It.
This weekend, New Years Eve, to be exact, was me and Nick’s first wedding anniversary. On that night, we were supposed to attend a huge NYE party at a local establishment; complete with live music, prime rib dinners, dancing, and countdown to midnight festivities. We have been to this party before, a couple years back, […]
A Very Covid Christmas
I celebrated Thanksgiving with Robyn and her brood, but assured Lee’s brother, Paul, that I would be celebrating Christmas with him and his family. Neither Robyn nor I celebrate Christmas as a matter of faith, but it’s an important holiday for Paul just as it was an important holiday for Lee. Sharing this holiday with […]
Not Bad, Just Different
Its the day after Christmas, and we are finally getting settled in at home after running around and doing short visits with both families (mine and my husbands.) Nick and I made up some bags of homemade goodies and treats to give out to the neighbors and family and a couple close friends. He made […]
Year in Review
I made my first modest contributions to this site on February 4, 2021. As I look back on this first year’s output, I am surprised to see that I have now filed more than 40 reports concerning my personal journey as a widower, and there is still one week left to go before we finally […]
Season of Hope
Staci was not able to write this week so we are featuring a post originally written in 2020. Hope you enjoy! In my fifth year of widowhood, I am trying to focus on who I am becoming. I will not pretend that I am “okay” without him. I am not. However, I am not entirely […]