My nephew Kevin has two kids, eleven-year-old Alyssa, and her twelve-year-old brother Nathan. For reasons I’ve never understood, a few years ago Alyysa decided that she was going to adopt a new first name. Today “Alex” is the only moniker that she will answer to. Not to be outdone, Nathan thereafter abandoned his given name […]
Uncategorized
Hug a Widow(er)
This weekend I went out with some girlfriends. Our original plans were foiled when the cover band we wanted to see had to cancel their show due to illness. So, we pivoted and ended up at a country bar that recently reopened. I don’t know when the original one closed, but I can tell you […]
Being Alone
Its funny and a bit fascinating how the idea of “being alone” changes with the decades, with life, and with living through widowhood. Ive always been an independent person. I love being around people, but I NEED my solitude and I need my alone time. When I was 18, I moved from small town Massachusetts […]
A New Leaf
Robyn and I were planning a weekend trip to visit my old and dear friends, Craig and Donna, whom I’ve mentioned here multiple times Robyn made this trip with me once previously. She is a good sport about such things. In any case, a few days before our departure Craig called to tell me that […]
Look Who Is Coming to Thanksgiving Dinner!
In less than two weeks, it will be Thanksgiving. This was Don’s favorite holiday, by far. He loved it for so many reasons. He used to say some version of: “Incredible food, your mom’s apple pie, endless football games, I don’t have to dress up or go anywhere fancy and I don’t need to buy […]
“Urning” Places in the Heart
Rich passed on a Thursday. By Friday morning it became apparent that I had to make final arrangements for him. Throughout nearly 30 years together, Rich and I had attended many funerals and services for friends and family members. “Please don’t ever have one of those for me,” he’d commented on numerous occasions after attending […]
Young Woman Seeks Friend
My friend’s daughter called this past week. I have known the young woman her whole life. Our connection runs deep. As with several other of my closest friends’ children, I’m the avuncular outsider. Within her own family, my friend’s daughter has long been its most sensible and grounded member. As a measure of family dysfunction, […]
Forty Six and Alive Forever
Today is November 6th. Don Shepherds birthday. I woke up and immediately thought about him. The heart knows. The next thing that happened is that I smelled bacon. Mmmm. This made me want to get out of bed, of course, and I went into the kitchen where my “hell of a great cook husband” Nick […]
Netflix & Tears
I just finished watching From Scratch on Netflix and I am…wrecked. And I need to write about it for a minute. I have been drawn to tv shows, movies, books, and songs about death and loss since Boris died. They have been like a balm for me. But, more recently I have been watching more […]
The Journal
Yesterday, as part of a seemingly endless project to cull and organize my personal papers, I came across several items of particular interest. One of these was a blue notebook with several pages of Lee’s handwriting that I had not looked at carefully until yesterday. The notebook looked like Lee had intended for it to […]
Halloween Changes
Today is Halloween and per usual my feelings are complicated. I have always loved Halloween, it’s right before my birthday, I love dressing up and expressing some creativity. Before Tony and I had kids, we used to have a big party every year and we usually put a lot of thought into our costumes. Once […]
Wedding Planners and Grief Counselors
Thursday, October 27th, was my wedding anniversary. To the dead guy. It would have been 16 years married to each other. But instead, it was and will always be 4 years and 9 months. Now that so many years have gone by since his death, our marriage seems even more tragically cut short than it […]