Lately, time has seemed to tick by so fast, mostly during these ‘ber’ months. Something this past weekend made me realize how quickly the twins are growing up and how it just feels like each month is slipping away, yet my mind still takes me back to those early months after Erik passed. This time […]
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Stops Along the Road
On Thursday, September 28th, Rich and I would’ve celebrated our 27th Wedding Anniversary. As I’ve shared in my bi-line and bio below, we celebrated our 25th anniversary up at the Jersey Shore, also spending time cleaning out my family home in Hackensack to prepare for its sale. It was a special time spent with people […]
So Sad
September 22 marked my sister’s seventy-sixth birthday. However, Lorrie did not live to see it. Her health had been in a steep decline these past several years, yet it’s also possible she simply gave up on living. She must have understood death was a probable outcome. I sometimes wonder whether she willed herself into an […]
Where is Daddy?
Each day still takes my breath away a little. Each realization that Erik is no longer here and it truly is just me and the twins now. There is no escaping this reality or pretending it isn’t true any longer. What I didn’t realize was how soon the questions would come. Where is daddy, mama? […]
I Miss Him Out Loud
An old friend of ours called me this week. He calls on occasion to check in on the kids and me. Every time he calls, he asks how the house is and if I need help with anything. I have yet to accept his help or call him when something breaks. But it is nice […]
Today and Yesterday
Just got home from our weekend at Cape Cod visiting my parents at their time share. On our way back, we stopped off and met my old high school friend Jenny and her husband for lunch, at a restaurant in the town we both grew up in. The weekend was filled with lots of rain, […]
A “Weekness” For Dogs
Sometime around 2009, I came across an observance called National Dog Week. Founded by a man named Captain Wm. Lewis Judy in 1928, this intriguing slice of canine Americana fascinated me; there really was an actual seven day observance just to celebrate dogs and the humans that love them during the last week of September […]
Living with Triggers
After going through such a traumatic loss having anxiety and being scared or jumpy all seemed to be part of the package. A year and a half in those feelings are still there. They might not be as intense as they were a couple of months after Erik’s passing, but they continue to just lie […]
Sleeping and Not Sleeping and Weird Dreams in Between
Ever since Don Shepherd died, twelve years ago, sleep has been a problem. Like, a major problem. As in, I don’t sleep well at all. In the beginning, I barely slept at all. I would be lucky to get 2 or 3 hours those first few months after he died. Then, very slowly, it started […]
Pleasant Beginnings
To comprehend how far we’ve moved forward after a life-changing event, it’s helpful to take a look back. I often ask myself to recall what I was doing a year, or even more, earlier at any given time. It may be difficult, but in the end it is ultimately helpful, for better or worse. This […]
Other Pathways
Lately, I have taken to reading random Widow’s Blog posts, which are maintained in the Soaring Spirits archives, by authors who have come and gone from this site. Initially, I mainly was interested in determining what the average shelf life was for these writers while I mulled whether my own has about run its course. […]
The Potty Milestone
It’s one in a few when I get those proud parenting moments as a solo parent. I always feel as if I’m not doing enough or I’m not giving enough or I’m just not enough for them. How does one person fill the spot of two? The first week of September was potty training time […]