I woke up in the dark and after a time realized that it had only been a dream. I recall in my dream feeling confused. Now wide awake, I still felt unsettled. I was here in Arizona, enjoying a visit from Robyn, when I suddenly remembered that Lee was back home. In my dream, Lee […]
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Words That Heal
I love words. I love the way they sound, what they mean, how they are said, all of it. When Don Shepherd died suddenly, it was words that saved me. Words that kept me going. Words that gave me pause to think and to reflect, and words written or said by others who had been […]
Welcome, Jackson!
On Valentine’s Day, a sweet black and white border collie-mix puppy found a new home! Lot’s of love…but not much sleep as to which any puppy raiser can attest. Some asked when they heard of this pending news, “Why do you need another dog?” I don’t think we need them, but rather they need us. […]
Valentine Hugs and Kisses
Robyn arrived on Super Bowl Sunday, fresh off visiting her son, her brother, and one of the grandkids in southern California. Robyn was greeted by a small earthquake upon her arrival there, but I would like to think that the Tucson leg of her trip, featuring me and Lola the pup, along with many fun […]
A Cloudy Interlude
Yesterday started grey and stayed that way. Angry clouds enveloped the high peaks of the Catalina range like thick smoke, making daytime darker than it ought to be. I waited for a rainstorm that never materialized. The cool morning breeze that typically favors Tucson originates somewhere southeast of town, but by afternoon it has shifted […]
The Volume Button
Years go by. Days, months, life events. Before you know it, you have been living with the death of your person for almost 13 years. It goes by in a flash, and also, excruciatingly slow. Life goes on, as they say. But sometimes what really sucks is that the constant death of your person also […]
Flight Down Memory Lane
Sometimes I don’t actively realize how hard it would be to re-visit a place that I’ve been with Erik. And we have been to so many places so how can I possibly avoid all of them? I can’t. This past weekend I flew to Hawaii for my best friend’s birthday trip. The last time I […]
Losing Time
As some of you who follow me here may know, since I have posted about it recently, my dad was diagnosed with dementia with Alzheimers Disease. His confusion, cognitive skills issues, and memory loss have been going on for awhile now, and we have been worried. He finally agreed to get some testing done, and […]
Stopping to Refuel
I’ve enjoyed the bit of cold temperatures that we “endured” for a few weeks in Central Florida. Cold is relative state. While my friends and family in the north deal with temps in the 30s, a “cold” day here is in the low 50s, with 30s in the evening, but that’s fleeting. But here we […]
Z and Me
Z was the first person I met at the new high school where, as a senior, I was enrolled after my folks relocated from the city to the suburbs. This wasn’t an easy transition for me as it meant leaving behind longtime classmates and friends to start over at a place where I had no […]
Managing the Storm
Ever since Erik’s passing I’ve had a hard time finding something just for myself. Something that would take my mind off grieving just for a little bit, but also something I could look forward to that wasn’t just obligations of daily life. Around the 6 month mark, people started telling me, “You need to start […]
The Duality of Living
It is hard work, but it’s so important to find duality in our widowed lives. Sadness and Happiness. Grief and Joy. Heartache and Love. Sorrow and Wonder. I remember getting a piece of advice right after Tony died that came via another widow. That advice was to cry when you need to but don’t let […]