Well, it happened! This past week, Mike and I went to the courthouse and stood with a judge, said our vows, and got married. It wasn’t the big wedding with all our friends and family like we imagined. Instead of a wedding dress and tux, it was matching t-shirts and jeans, and “Just Married” face […]
Widowed and New Love
Milestones and Rememberances
I think it’s important to share not just the parts of my life that are affected by being widowed, but also the parts that are affected by having lost my mother as a child, and also my father in my late 20’s, because I know your children will live through milestones of their own like this.
Apologies
I am writing this not just because I have not written for a few weeks. I am also writing it as a sort of apology.These last few weeks have been extremely challenging for me. As a solo parent, entrepreneur and widower, sometimes I feel like my “lives” clash, and managing them is messy… In general, I am doing reasonably well. In my business, I launched a program designed to help men (widowers especially) rediscover their purpose in life (post loss).
Life, After
Images from internet searches for Netflix’s “After Life” Sometime after Mike died – perhaps a matter of months – Megan came to me and said, “Muuuuum – my Netflix account isn’t working”. It’s possible that I said, “What’s Netflix?”, but I don’t think I was living under a rock to quite that degree. But I […]
Beginnings and Endings
I can’t deny that really, since Drew died, life has just never gotten back to being “easy” or “effortless” in the way it was back before he died. Of course, I don’t ever remember anyone saying that life gets easier as you get older. Doesn’t seem like the way it ever goes… just that we get better at handling things over time. That doesn’t mean it isn’t just as beautiful when life is challenging, because it sure as hell is. It just isn’t as simple.
Love Threading Through My Week
Today’s – no – this week’s – topic is Love. As I sit and reflect on what to write about, as with last week, there seems to be lots of different topics. All interesting at some level, but not “enough” to make a blog post out of. So my next question is, “what connects them?” […]
Living in an Asteroid Field
I have so much fear of becoming widowed again. Some days, that fear is louder than others… like anticipating my own personal asteroid out there that is going to crash into me on some unknown date in the future, creating a private apocalypse all over again.
A Week’s Ramblings
Featured photo my own – Metro sign in Paris 17 August 2020 I could write about five or more different topics this morning. Or none. The five feel valid but somewhat anecdotal. A bit light. And yet they are not. Not a lot is light in my life. Which is okay. And there is lightness. […]
A letter of encouragement to my Widbuds
All photos my own, taken this week in the French Pyrenees I could write tons of letters of encouragement to my Widbuds, or indeed Grieflings of any fragrance or flavour. Whether it’s about putting one foot in front of the other; trusting that one heartbeat or breath will follow another; finding the wherewithal to write […]
Wrapping Loss in Love
Photo by Karim MANJRA on Unsplash I spend a lot of my time reading about death, dying, and grieving, participating in webinars and holding space sessions with grief experts, people who’ve developed wise perspective on what it is to love, to lose, and to continue living. Apart from two moments since Mike’s death, I have […]
From “A Gentleman in Moscow”
At the behest of my new partner, I have started to read fiction again. The second of her recommendations is a book called “A Gentleman in Moscow.”
I am currently reading and enjoying it. Set in post revolutionary Russia, with lots of flashbacks to an earlier, more gilded age, the book is the story of a singular man—a count—who is placed under house arrest.
Dogs and love
In the year after our twin daughters were born, we got a golden retriever puppy we named Charlie. Everyone always says they have, “the best dog ever,” but Charlie truly was. When the girls were young, they could pull on his ears, his tail, his fur, just about any part of him and he would never so much as complain, growl or groan.