All photos my own, taken this week in the French Pyrenees I could write tons of letters of encouragement to my Widbuds, or indeed Grieflings of any fragrance or flavour. Whether it’s about putting one foot in front of the other; trusting that one heartbeat or breath will follow another; finding the wherewithal to write […]
Widowed and New Love
Photo by Karim MANJRA on Unsplash I spend a lot of my time reading about death, dying, and grieving, participating in webinars and holding space sessions with grief experts, people who’ve developed wise perspective on what it is to love, to lose, and to continue living. Apart from two moments since Mike’s death, I have […]
At the behest of my new partner, I have started to read fiction again. The second of her recommendations is a book called “A Gentleman in Moscow.”
I am currently reading and enjoying it. Set in post revolutionary Russia, with lots of flashbacks to an earlier, more gilded age, the book is the story of a singular man—a count—who is placed under house arrest.
In the year after our twin daughters were born, we got a golden retriever puppy we named Charlie. Everyone always says they have, “the best dog ever,” but Charlie truly was. When the girls were young, they could pull on his ears, his tail, his fur, just about any part of him and he would never so much as complain, growl or groan.
What happened instead is that an opening was made, for that voice to come back and haunt me. That voice that tells me I am cursed in some way from ever having those milestone, big, beautiful moments in my life.
I have discovered that you learn a lot about who you are while you are dating. Dating is much more than it appears to be at face value. Dating really isn’t about whether someone likes you. This simple perspective of love is held by school kids on playgrounds everywhere. But, we are adults. Dating for […]
Just like I always feel a twinge of glee on 21st December (we have reached the shortest and darkest 24-hour period in the Northern Hemisphere – yippee!), I also feel a twinge of sadness on 21st June when we have reached the longest, lightest day. There’s a clear message there about not living in the […]
I can only help ease the void he left with love itself.
When I miss Mike what I’m missing is love.
How can I solve this absence of love with anything but love?
Love is the cure here – I know this.
I did NOT cancel the Bed & Breakfast that was supposed to be for our wedding night. I did NOT cancel the wedding cake either. I am celebrating my relationship on this day no matter what – and that means CAKE dammit.
Since he died, I have reestablished my life with the exception of my love life. Around the three year mark, I realized that I had to address this missing component of my life without Mike. I acknowledged that I desperately miss being part of a couple and I accepted that I would do something about this. It was no secret to me, I liked being in love and I longed for the feelings that go along with being madly in love. Daily, I have been missing this intangible stuff of love. I continually hungered for what I lost when Mike died. And, for me, I knew that I could not be wholly satisfied alone. I remember how much richer my life was with Mike and because of this I am simply not satisfied on my own.
Hey bud, You know, there are a lot of coincidental similarities between you and I. I mean, even at age 6, I was fascinated by flight (spaceflight specifically, at the time), visiting Kennedy space center, and the US air force museum. I enlisted in the Marine Corps at 17, and guess where I ended […]
One of the first big milestones of life without Suzanne has come to pass. Our youngest daughter has finished college and has basically graduated (she has fulfilled all of her requirements, but because of CoVID-19 the ceremony will now not take place until December). She arrives back at my home from England today after finishing last month.