After Lee died, I was left with the photographs and paintings to lift me if I needed to see her. To this day, for example, I will take a moment to look at her images when I go down to the basement kitchen to fetch spare food items from storage. 
Regarding the painting shown here, sometimes I can almost feel her eyes following me as I rummage for provisions. And, invariably, a black and white photograph of Lee, then still a young girl, posing innocently for the portrait her folks commissioned from a studio in the small beach town where she grew up, brings a smile to my face. Although many years would pass before we would meet, seeing the old photograph of Lee can trigger a visceral sense of longing to be with her.
Often, I’ll take advantage of seeing these images by saying good morning to Lee or perhaps by engaging her in a bit of small talk. Also, I’m not ashamed to tell you that there have been occasions when I’ve held onto Lee’s image, hoping for a response that never comes.
***
Six or seven months after Lee’s death I met Robyn on a virtual dating site. This occurred during the height of the pandemic and no vaccines were yet available. Today, it feels like something that happened a long time ago. However, that Robyn and I were a virtual dating success story is evidenced by the fact that we remain together.
Over time, and as our romance blossomed, I began to wonder how Robyn felt being surrounded in my home by the many images of my previous life with Lee. (Certainly, Robyn keeps family photos in her own home, too, but few depicting her past husbands or significant others, and most of these are group shots that include her children.) Not that I had any intention to remove the photographs of Lee spread about my home, mind you. Doing so would be a serious betrayal of trust.
Eventually, I made one exception for the case of a wedding photograph that had been hanging on a wall in my bedroom when I first met Robyn. This photograph now resides elsewhere. I undertook this action entirely of my own volition, without prompting from Robyn, and out of respect for her feelings. I was not surprised when Robyn acknowledged that she appreciated my gesture, admitting that this wedding photograph made her slightly uncomfortable. I assured Robyn that I believed Lee, who only ever wanted the best for me, would not object.
Indeed, when Lee’s death from pancreatic cancer was inevitable, she magnanimously encouraged me to find another woman with whom I could share my life. That’s just how Lee was built.
***
Today, Robyn and I have been together for several years. Even so, it’s only over the past few weeks that I became acutely aware that there was not a single photograph of us on display in my home. Then, one evening, virtually out of the blue, Robyn asked how I would feel about getting a framed photograph of the two of us for display. This felt like she had been reading my mind!
So, we selected several pics from our phones that were suitable for framing. Robyn had them blown up, and we placed them in frames. These now sit proudly on display in my home.
***
In the fullness of time, I have come to recognize that my heart is big enough to embrace the love of two good women. Now, when I gaze at the lovely images spread throughout my place, I am grateful there is space in my life for both.
