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Gary Ravitz

About Gary Ravitz

In relevant part, my musings are for me. It’s one of the ways in which I process losing my sweetest. Of course, Lee didn’t want to die. She had fought like hell, but the relentless cancers kept coming: Skin cancers; breast cancer; head and neck cancer; colon cancer; and finally, the deadly pancreatic cancer. In June 2020, and only after being pressed hard by Lee, her oncologist opined that my wife had from two weeks to two months left to live, turned on her heels and nearly sprinted from the hospital room, never again to be seen or heard from by us. I promptly removed Lee from the hospital and brought her home. It was the right thing to do and I only wish I had acted sooner over “the best” medical advice to the contrary. In fact, my sweet wife only had nine days left to live. At the final, she embraced her own death with great courage and unfailing kindness. It was a truly remarkable display of grace and wondrous to behold. It was my great privilege and honor to be with her every step of the way. And now, it’s my privilege to be able to write a few words to you each week. In a nutshell, I believe every journey is unique, but, hopefully, to know that you do not have to walk it alone can also be reassuring. And, along the way, you might hear a bit more information about me.
Gary

Five Years

Posted on: July 3, 2025 | Posted by: Gary Ravitz

Yesterday marked the fifth anniversary of Lee’s death.  Not a day passes, nor many moments, when she is out of mind.  My memories of Lee –even the sad ones- are part of her legacy.  I sincerely wish this were not the case because, in an alternative universe, Lee would still be healthy, and happily, we […]

Categories: Widowed Memories, Widowed Anniversaries

Just Another Birthday

Posted on: June 26, 2025 | Posted by: Gary Ravitz

Tomorrow is my 74th birthday. These days, my earliest birthday memory is vague, but it involved competing birthday parties for me and a classmate when we were either five or six years old. Naturally, the real competition was between our mothers, who jousted over which party would take place earlier on Saturday afternoon. I don’t […]

Categories: Widowed Birthdays

“Episode IV – A New Hope”

Posted on: June 19, 2025 | Posted by: Gary Ravitz

Shortly after Lee died, I lost my enthusiasm for my regular work.  My career as a trial and appellate lawyer quickly paled in significance next to the impact and importance of her loss, despite the many interesting and important cases I’d been involved in over the years. However, it wasn’t as if one day I […]

Categories: Widowed Milestones, Uncategorized

June 12

Posted on: June 12, 2025 | Posted by: Gary Ravitz

Lee and I were married on June 12th.  Does this fact mean that today is our wedding anniversary, or is it more accurate to say, had Lee survived, today would mark our wedding anniversary? Where it involves Lee, such fine distinctions can confuse me and make me uncomfortable. On the one hand, how can today […]

Categories: Widowed Anniversaries

Revisiting the Month of June

Posted on: June 5, 2025 | Posted by: Gary Ravitz

Today’s post is a reprint from June 2024 with a few slight alterations. You might surmise that June is my funkiest month, and you would be correct.  Nothing much has changed in a year, except I plan to turn seventy-four…. *** According to one poll (https://today..ougov.com/society/articles/45312-americans-favorite-and-least-favorite-months-year), thirty-nine percent of adult Americans love the month of […]

Categories: Widowed Memories, Widowed Birthdays, Widowed Anniversaries

Communication Breakdown

Posted on: May 29, 2025 | Posted by: Gary Ravitz

I grabbed my Android phone a few weeks back, only to observe that its familiar interface appeared different.  Quickly, I determined that a new, or at least a dramatically changed, operating system had been foisted upon me and that I had to accept it.  The change has been problematic.  Overnight, it seemed I had lost […]

Categories: Miscellaneous

Two Peas in a Pod

Posted on: May 22, 2025 | Posted by: Gary Ravitz

Robyn and I talk almost every morning.  It’s a kind of well-being check-in for us, I think. I would get concerned if I couldn’t reach her (without an excused absence). She feels the same. In any case, during our morning chit chat yesterday, she asked me if I planned to raise a glass to honor […]

Categories: Widowed and New Love

Boys’ Night Out

Posted on: May 15, 2025 | Posted by: Gary Ravitz

Last night was another Boys’ Night Out, an occasional, generally impromptu, casual dinner (or breakfast or lunch) with some of the fellas.  We’re all old men now, and to see us today, it’s hard to imagine that we once were so young, brimming with energy, just beginning our adult lives’ adventures. The subject matter of […]

Categories: Miscellaneous

Jillian

Posted on: May 8, 2025 | Posted by: Gary Ravitz

I learned that Jillian had been a daughter, a sister, a mother, and a wife.  I also learned that Jillian had died young after cancer got her. I learned this last Saturday, while attending the posthumous celebration of her life with Robyn. I never met Jillian in life. The celebration was held in a large […]

Categories: Widowed Memories, Widowed Milestones

Happy, Healthy Septuagenarians

Posted on: May 1, 2025 | Posted by: Gary Ravitz

Perusing today’s newspaper, I was drawn to the tantalizing headline: “How Nearly a Century of Happiness Research Led to One Big Finding” (found at https://www.nytimes.com/2025/05/01/magazine/happiness-research-studies-relationships.html).  After all, who wouldn’t want to learn the secret to finding true happiness? Among other topics, this interesting piece recounts the history of “the longest-running wellness study in American history,” […]

Categories: Widowed Without Children, Widowed Emotions

Trying to Stay Young

Posted on: April 24, 2025 | Posted by: Gary Ravitz

Lola and I are invited to dinner one evening next week at the home of Michael and Hannan, who live in the neighborhood but are not, strictly speaking, our neighbors, as we live several short blocks apart. Lola introduced us. It’s been more than one year.  As best I can tell, Michael and Hannan would […]

Categories: Widowed & Unmarried, Widowed Without Children, Widowed Therapy, Uncategorized

The Satisfaction of Being a Tutor

Posted on: April 17, 2025 | Posted by: Gary Ravitz

It’s fast approaching the conclusion of the tutoring year. This past Tuesday, the tutoring organization directed tutors to conduct the first half of the “post-assessment.” The assessment consists of two sections, reading comprehension and math. On Tuesday, I administered the reading portion of the test to Zoey, who in the next month or so is […]

Categories: Widowed Without Children, Uncategorized

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