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Widowed & Unmarried

Remembering the fun.

Posted on: October 14, 2022 | Posted by: Victoria Helmly

Sometimes I get so caught up in the sadness, shock, and trauma of Boris’s death that I forget how much fun we had. The memories that flood my brain are often of fights or things I should have said or should have done differently. Regret and “what ifs” are common. And, I think because of […]

Categories: Widowed & Unmarried, Widowed Emotions, Widowed Suddenly, Widowed by Suicide

The Unconclusive Conclusion

Posted on: September 24, 2022 | Posted by: Bryan Martin

While writing this blog, I was forced to revisit and relive more than just my widowed walk. I dove back in time through many memories I had forgotten or hidden. In reflecting back, how ironic was it that I rushed through the four years of high school and the four years of college only now […]

Categories: Newly Widowed, Widowed, Widowed & Unmarried, Widowed Without Children, Widowed Effect on Family/Friends, Widowed Memories, Widowed and Healing, Widowed and New Love, Widowed Birthdays, Widowed Anniversaries, Widowed Holidays, Widowed Milestones, Widowed Belongings, Widowed Emotions, Widowed Signs from Loved One, Widowed Therapy, Widowed Community, LGBTQ+ Widowed, Widowed by Illness, Multiple Losses, Miscellaneous, Uncategorized

Widowed Wealth of Words

Posted on: September 17, 2022 | Posted by: Bryan Martin

This week has been a huge transition in my life. I retired from my 23 year career to focus on my relationship and the business I own. I can work from anywhere which is giving me much more time to enjoy time. Of course, big transitions have change and responsibility. I’m organizing my own healthcare, […]

Categories: Widowed, Widowed & Unmarried, Widowed Without Children, Widowed Memories, Widowed and Healing, Widowed Milestones, Widowed Belongings, Widowed Emotions, LGBTQ+ Widowed, Widowed by Illness

Is he still my boyfriend?

Posted on: September 16, 2022 | Posted by: Victoria Helmly

I still can’t seem to figure out what to call Boris. I still call him my boyfriend over 4 years after his death. Is that normal? Last week I was on a work trip and was talking to a colleague who I do not know well. We were discussing traveling, and I mentioned that I […]

Categories: Widowed, Widowed & Unmarried

Stop Rushing Towards The Grief

Posted on: September 3, 2022 | Posted by: Bryan Martin

I distinctly remember being in the 5th grade and saying: “Just 7 more years until I graduate. Then it’s college and dolphin training. Hang in there Bryan, it’s just 7 more years.” I wanted to be free of the bullying and I wanted my dream job, so I wished for time to tick by faster. […]

Categories: Widowed, Widowed & Unmarried, Widowed Without Children, Widowed Effect on Family/Friends, Widowed Memories, Widowed and Healing, Widowed and New Love, Widowed Holidays, Widowed Milestones, Widowed Emotions, LGBTQ+ Widowed, Widowed by Illness

Of God and Grief

Posted on: August 27, 2022 | Posted by: Bryan Martin

40 days and 40 nights. Sometimes that’s how grief has felt along this journey. No one quite understands the impact that first grief flood has on you until you find your floating around and all the land is gone. Nothing but a horizon. You feel helpless, alone and lost. It has taken lots of navigating […]

Categories: Widowed, Widowed & Unmarried, Widowed Effect on Family/Friends, Widowed Memories, Widowed and Healing, Widowed Emotions, Widowed Community, LGBTQ+ Widowed, Uncategorized

Taking Flight

Posted on: August 20, 2022 | Posted by: Bryan Martin

As I pause and look at my life now, I can’t help but be grateful for everything that has been gifted to me, especially the love I’m surrounded by now. This week I truly wanted to see how far I have come so I looked back to my blog post 2 years ago. As I read […]

Categories: Widowed, Widowed & Unmarried, Widowed Without Children, Widowed Memories, Widowed and Healing, Widowed and New Love, Widowed Milestones, Widowed Emotions, LGBTQ+ Widowed

All in Grief Time

Posted on: August 13, 2022 | Posted by: Bryan Martin

After 23 years of effort, I’m leaving the field of animal care. I’m turning in my whistle and taking off my watch. A career with animals I dreamed to hold as a kid. Biology degree with minors in chemistry and behavioral psychology. I poured my heart, mind and passion into competing for minimum wage all […]

Categories: Widowed, Widowed & Unmarried, Widowed Without Children, Widowed Effect on Family/Friends, Widowed Memories, Widowed and Healing, Widowed and New Love, Widowed Holidays, Widowed Milestones, Widowed Emotions, LGBTQ+ Widowed, Widowed by Illness

Grief Gardener

Posted on: August 6, 2022 | Posted by: Bryan Martin

I was overwhelmed with the immense inheritance of isolation that bereavement bestowed upon me. The biggest question keeping me from moving forward was: “Where do I even begin?” Analysis paralysis when all things seem unorganized, depression dust devils making the barren widowed wasteland look impossible. How do I even start? This week we had the […]

Categories: Widowed, Widowed & Unmarried, Widowed Effect on Family/Friends, Widowed Memories, Widowed and Healing, Widowed Milestones, Widowed Emotions, LGBTQ+ Widowed, Widowed by Illness, Multiple Losses

Grief and Gratitude

Posted on: July 30, 2022 | Posted by: Bryan Martin

It’s been over two years since I wrote the following blog. We carry grief like an autoimmune issue. It’s always going to be part of us and can flare up. I constantly look back at where I was to remind me of what I’ve grown through. Life has blessed me with a second chance and […]

Categories: Widowed, Widowed & Unmarried, Widowed Without Children, Widowed Memories, Widowed and Healing, Widowed and New Love, Widowed Milestones, Widowed Emotions, LGBTQ+ Widowed

The Grief Hangover

Posted on: July 23, 2022 | Posted by: Bryan Martin

My widowed journey has been unique. The timeline delt to me kept me four years from the closure of Clayton’s funeral. This week has felt different, lighter but emotionally dizzy. Most of us deal with all the immediate emotional events within weeks but life decided to stretch mine out and this week I finally feel […]

Categories: Widowed, Widowed & Unmarried, Widowed Memories, Widowed and Healing, Widowed Milestones, Widowed Emotions, LGBTQ+ Widowed, Widowed by Illness

Growing Through Grief with Gratitude

Posted on: July 16, 2022 | Posted by: Bryan Martin

Yesterday I felt like I hit the grief guardrail at 75 miles an hour. I knew it was coming and I knew I couldn’t turn fast enough. It was emotionally inevitable and, as much as I wanted to avoid it, I also have been needing it. It was an intimate group of family and friends […]

Categories: Widowed, Widowed & Unmarried, Widowed Effect on Family/Friends, Widowed Memories, Widowed and Healing, Widowed and New Love, Widowed Birthdays, Widowed Anniversaries, Widowed Milestones, Widowed Belongings, Widowed Emotions, LGBTQ+ Widowed, Widowed by Illness

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