Lola and I are invited to dinner one evening next week at the home of Michael and Hannan, who live in the neighborhood but are not, strictly speaking, our neighbors, as we live several short blocks apart. Lola introduced us.
It’s been more than one year. As best I can tell, Michael and Hannan would see the inquisitive, affable Lola in the front yard, which she prowls many mornings, weather permitting. Other times, Lola would be in front when Michal and Hannan walked past our property a second time after finishing work, on their way home from the subway.
I don’t specifically recall my first encounter with them. However, on spring and summer mornings, I enjoy relaxing outside on my front porch, sipping my first cup of hot coffee, catching up on the day’s news, listening to the songs of the birds, or simply watching the world pass by.
I also like this spot in mid to late afternoons once the hot sun has swung to the back of the property. Morning or afternoon, Lola the wonder dog is reliably close at hand. Thus, it was inevitable that I’d meet Michael and Hanan one day.
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I read that older adults with friends who are at least ten years younger than themselves report feeling younger and finding more satisfaction in the aging process. See Maureen Salamon, “Bonds that transcend age,” found at https://www.health.harvard.edu/mind-and-mood/bonds-that-transcend-age (August 1, 2023). On a hopeful note, it is assumed intergenerational friendships can have real health benefits for older folks like me.
My guess is Michael and Hannan are nearer to thirty than they are to forty. Meanwhile, I am almost seventy-four! It just so happens they are both lawyers, so we have our chosen profession in common. I probably have greater work experience than these two combined, however, the truth is that when we’re together, I’m content to do more listening than talking. I particularly enjoy Hannan’s eagerness and enthusiasm as she describes her legal exploits.
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They are not my only intergenerational friends. Directly across the street live Allie and Drew, another young couple, whose daughter, Etta, turns one this coming June. I have mentioned them in these posts in the past. We’ve texted since I returned home from Arizona, but I haven’t yet seen them. Allie sent a few recent photographs of Etta, who appears adorable, quite naturally, and I’m certain there are a thousand more I haven’t seen! We’ll get together soon, I’m sure.
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Intergenerational friendships are not a one-way street. See “The Surprising Health Benefits Of Having Friends Of All Ages,” Henry Ford Health Staff (April 24, 2024), found at https://www.henryford.com/blog/2024/04/health-benefits-of-having-friends-of-all-ages. Indeed, according to one doctor, “research suggests that these friendships are just as beneficial for younger people.”
Certainly, I believe my young friend Zoey, whom I mentor weekly during the school year, would agree with this statement. In addition to mentorship, the benefits might include providing perspective, “particularly during big life transitions” (id.), or simply imparting a bit of the wisdom that comes with age.
Simply as a matter of science, “[w]hen you have friendships that span different generations, your brain has to work harder. Older people may not know anything about TikTok, while people from younger generations may have no idea how to play backgammon.” Id. We mutually benefit from being exposed to new ideas and experiences.
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The benefits we derive are not merely mental and emotional but can also be physical. I would not describe myself as an avid pickleball player, but I do play regularly. Once upon a time, pickleball was viewed as an old person’s game, like shuffleboard or horseshoes, but this is no longer the case. These days, regardless of the skill levels, the men and women I meet on the pickleball courts have one thing in common: they are younger than I am, and in many cases, substantially younger. Although I lose much of the time, the heightened competition has elevated my overall game, which shows up when I compete against players nearer my age. I also get to interact socially with them between games.
My whole life, I’ve been physically active. I still enjoy competitive sports, but it has gotten progressively harder with age to perform. For someone who was once a fairly accomplished and competitive racquetball player, these days I can easily get frustrated with myself for stumbling around the court at half speed, unable to reach shots I routinely would dispatch with ease a few years back. Yet, despite my diminishing physical skills, I still play at least twice a week, which beats the alternative of not playing at all. And I still enjoy the locker room banter and the camaraderie of my fellows.
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I am hardly alone in believing that regular and vigorous physical exercise confers numerous physical, mental, and emotional benefits, Thus, I was glad to learn recently that Robyn has re-dedicated herself to a vigorous daily workout regimen. However, the other night, she complained that she felt so sore she intended to go to bed as soon as we finished talking on the telephone. I was happy to take the hint. I said goodnight and wished her a pleasant rest.
