Widow's Voice

Grace Villafuerte

About Grace Villafuerte

Grace Villafuerte’s long time partner passed away in late 2014 and she has attended and presented at many Camp Widow events. She has worked in Social Services in Sonoma County for 28 years, is a SAGE trainer, and works closely with older adults - many in the LGBT community. Most of her professional and non-professional life is filled with participating in and organizing LGBT events (including Sonoma County Pride), facilitating discussion groups and training addressing LGBT older adult issues, and volunteering and fundraising for nonprofits working with HIV clients and LGBT youth.

The Power of Keeping Our Memories

| Posted by:

I recently watched the movie, “Forgotten Island!” I have been waiting all year to watch this!!! Forgotten Island is a Dreamworks animated movie set in the Philippines about two friends who travel to a mystical island, and encounter our culture’s mythological creatures – many of whom I have been told stories about since I was […]

Another New Chapter…

| Posted by:

I recently went to a little gathering for my retirement with my former (!) coworkers. Three of the folks there had retired at different times in the past 7 years. It was super sweet and we talked a lot of shop about work stress, people’s various experiences with the transition from working (three of us […]

I Think You’d Be Proud of Me…

| Posted by:

There’s a trend going around where people are videotaping someone with their birthday cake. As they sit there, their loved ones put a lighted candle in the cake, and tell them what THEIR wish for the birthday celebrant is. Example: “I wish you happiness this year.” “I wish you continued success in your career.” “I wish […]

Letting Go of a Survival Identity

| Posted by:

I collect quotes, and some of them ending up aligning with one another in a way that drives the point stronger. Here are a few gems lately: “You already know what to do, you’re just negotiating with comfort.” “Your commitment to the future needs to be stronger than your attachment to the past.” “The world changes […]

We’re on this Roller Coaster Together

| Posted by:

A friend recently connected me with her friend who had unexpectedly lost her partner a few months ago. In talking with her, I recognized that “under the surface shock while trying to pretend to hold a normal conversation” that I (and probably most of us) felt after Lynn passed – especially for those first 6-12 […]

The Point of the Mountain

| Posted by:

“One day, the mountain that is in front of you will be so far behind you, it will barely be visible in the distance. But the person you become in learning to get over it? That will stay with you forever. And that is the point of the mountain.” ― Brianna Wiest, The Mountain is You I […]

Revisiting the Past through Old Emails

| Posted by:

I was cleaning out old work emails, and of course found a ton of email threads between Lynn and I that ranged from 2007 (when I started working at this job) and 2014 (when she passed). Phew – what a trip down memory lane… tibits of our life, “mundane” conversations that ultimately depict a shared […]

“Thanks for the Adventure – Now Go Have a New One!”

| Posted by:

I recently watched a clip from the animated movie, “UP” (tearjerker, if you haven’t seen it). It was the scene where Carl, who was recently widowed, is looking thru a photo album his wife, Ellie, had made. In it, she had photos from their life together. They were “regular life” photos, getting married, buying their […]

The “Spare Key Theory”

| Posted by:

I have read a few varying explanations of The Spare Key Theory. The theory came across my social media sometime, probably because I was reading / finding songs / looking for relatable stories about losing your mother. I’ll add one of the explanations below, but one interpretation I like is: A spare key is the access you […]