Widow's Voice

Grace Villafuerte

About Grace Villafuerte

Grace Villafuerte’s long time partner passed away in late 2014 and she has attended and presented at many Camp Widow events. She has worked in Social Services in Sonoma County for 28 years, is a SAGE trainer, and works closely with older adults - many in the LGBT community. Most of her professional and non-professional life is filled with participating in and organizing LGBT events (including Sonoma County Pride), facilitating discussion groups and training addressing LGBT older adult issues, and volunteering and fundraising for nonprofits working with HIV clients and LGBT youth.

Every Day is a Special Occasion

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I read a quote, “When I die, please cover my casket in my sticker collection that I bought but could never commit to applying on things” I LOVE this silly quote! I have had a sticker collection since I was a kid. I still have the legit old style photo album with the pages I […]

“Remembering Moments”

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It can be so bittersweet when a “remembering” pops into my brain unexpectedly. A “remembering” is when I randomly remember something about Lynn – something she loved, hated, a place she had visited, a topic she loved to talk about, etc. It can feel like being hit with a burst of inspiration or happiness, only […]

Normal Widow Stuff

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I came across these amazing and beautiful images online that showed human ashes under a microscope – gorgeous, colorful, and people compared the images to the galaxy, as they look very similar to the Milky Way. (I later read, “The stunning resemblance to deep-space photos from the Hubble Telescope comes from artistic framing, high-magnification focus, […]

Why Are You So Happy?

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My cousin asked me once, “Why are you always so happy?” Imagine – a widow being asked that! And, this was shortly after my Mom had passed away. My response to her, without thinking, was “Because all the worst things that can happen have already happened…” She didn’t quite know what to make of it, […]

The Power of Keeping Our Memories

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I recently watched the movie, “Forgotten Island!” I have been waiting all year to watch this!!! Forgotten Island is a Dreamworks animated movie set in the Philippines about two friends who travel to a mystical island, and encounter our culture’s mythological creatures – many of whom I have been told stories about since I was […]

Another New Chapter…

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I recently went to a little gathering for my retirement with my former (!) coworkers. Three of the folks there had retired at different times in the past 7 years. It was super sweet and we talked a lot of shop about work stress, people’s various experiences with the transition from working (three of us […]

I Think You’d Be Proud of Me…

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There’s a trend going around where people are videotaping someone with their birthday cake. As they sit there, their loved ones put a lighted candle in the cake, and tell them what THEIR wish for the birthday celebrant is. Example: “I wish you happiness this year.” “I wish you continued success in your career.” “I wish […]

Letting Go of a Survival Identity

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I collect quotes, and some of them ending up aligning with one another in a way that drives the point stronger. Here are a few gems lately: “You already know what to do, you’re just negotiating with comfort.” “Your commitment to the future needs to be stronger than your attachment to the past.” “The world changes […]

We’re on this Roller Coaster Together

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A friend recently connected me with her friend who had unexpectedly lost her partner a few months ago. In talking with her, I recognized that “under the surface shock while trying to pretend to hold a normal conversation” that I (and probably most of us) felt after Lynn passed – especially for those first 6-12 […]