I am currently in the Philippines, visiting with family for the holidays. We are from a small mountain town, where both my parents’ families have lived for generations. My Mom, who passed away 2.5 years ago, is here in our family mausoleum. Even when I was a child visiting “home,” going to the cemetery was […]
Holiday Traditions Evolving
“Fun” fact – Lynn and I never spent a Christmas together in the 10 years we were together on Earth. Her family lived in Tennessee, and mine lived in the same town we lived. We both had big families we were close to, with lots of nieces and nephews. We both wanted to spend the […]
To Holiday Decorate or Not To Holiday Decorate?
I still don’t know if I am going to put up even a fraction of the massive amount of XMas decorations I have… Lynn came into our relationship with bins and bins of XMas decorations, a set and a half of a Dept 56 XMas Village, and all the Santa themed items under the sun. […]
What if We Met Today?
I was chatting with a newer friend recently, and we were comparing how we were in high school. I made a comment like, “I wonder if we would have hated each other / not gotten along in high school!” This made me think, would Lynn like me now? What would it be like if we […]
Old Messages on Messenger
For no particular reason, I looked up Lynn and my conversation in my Messenger app. Honestly, I did not think we had ever messaged on Messenger, but indeed we had! Her first message to me was on August 12, 2009, and said “to see how this works.” There is only a small handful of random […]
Give Up My Personal History?
I listened to a Dr. Wayne Dyer YouTube video (part of it) where he quotes Carlos Casteneda saying something along the lines of no longer needing / giving up your personal history. And, if you no longer have a personal history, you no longer have to live up to it. Hearing that freaked me out, […]
Grief Does Not Take A Vacation During Vacation
It never fails to bum me out that I cannot / am no longer obligated to call my Mom when I am leaving for a trip, arrive at the first and subsequent destinations, and call her at least every couple days. She did not use a cell phone, so it always had to be a […]
New Experiences Remind Me I Am Still Moving Forward
I will be going on a week long international vacation with my girlfriend and her family. It made me look back on vacations I have taken in my life. First, I am not big on travel. I get a bit anxious if I am gone from home for more than a few days. But, I […]
When Longtime Traditions Change
Yesterday, I facilitated a parol making workshop for a large group of Filipinos, some I have known since I was a child. Parols are a traditional, Philippine lantern displayed during the holiday season, and made of capiz shells. OUR homemade carols, however, are made of bamboo sticks and cellophane paper. Years ago, I would bring […]
Reminders of Intertwined Lives
Fire season in California means updating the emergency backpack in the car. Among the various obvious items I have in it, I also have items for my “elderly” parents – particularly for my Mom’s health needs. We live 8 blocks away from each other, and the times we have had to evacuate, we evacuate together. […]
Ready to Let Go of Tangible Reflections of their Love
Lynn was big on having (over the counter) meds on hand – allergy, flu, tummy ache, headache, etc. She had them organized in plastic bags that she carefully labeled with what they were for. I have struggled all these years with clutter cleaning, getting-rid-of, holding onto things until I am ready to let them go, […]
I No Longer Need My / Our Burial Plot
My close friend, J’s, husband passed away a few years ago. Lynn and I were very close to them, and when we would go out, we all joked that people would think the “couples” in our group were actually J and I, and Lynn and my friend’s husband. We just naturally would pair off when […]