It never fails to bum me out that I cannot / am no longer obligated to call my Mom when I am leaving for a trip, arrive at the first and subsequent destinations, and call her at least every couple days. She did not use a cell phone, so it always had to be a phone call, which of course turned into a conversation about what I did, who I did it with, where I am staying, and UBER most important – what did I eat, did I eat enough, etc. (Food is the love language of Filipinos, lol.) Not getting to call her when I arrive somewhere brings is one of the things that brings on those super annoying, gut-punch waves of grief that is just a big fat reminder that they are physically gone. Aaaaand, each time it happens, it feels like an experience that is just organically being incorporated into my travel routine. It is not so intense sometimes, it shifts of course, 

This made me think about “WIND PHONES.” 

“A “wind phone” is a disconnected phone booth where people can have a one-way conversation with deceased loved ones to help them cope with grief. This concept, which originated in Japan, involves speaking thoughts, memories, and updates to the phone, as if the person were on the other end. There are no specific phone numbers to dial, as the purpose is symbolic and emotional, not a literal connection.

How it works

• Purpose: To provide a space for people to express emotions, work through grief, and feel a sense of connection with those they have lost.
• Location: Wind phones are often found in public, secluded areas like parks, trails, or on church grounds.
• Symbolic act: People speak to the disconnected phone as a way to communicate with the deceased, but there is no actual connection.
• How to use: You can use it to have a conversation, share updates, say goodbye, or simply speak your thoughts aloud. 

While I heard about wind phones a long time ago, it was never something I thought I would need. With both Lynn and my Mom, I talk to them anytime all the time, sometimes in my head, often out loud (when no one is around). I remember feeling like everything I was doing and experiencing, I was experiencing (kinda) with Lynn, because I was talking to her all the time, and she was with me constantly. In fact, it felt like I could talk to her 24/7 after her passing, instead of only when we were not at our jobs before her passing.(!) But, the ritual of using an ACTUAL phone to connect with my Mom when I am on vacation made me wonder if it would be “helpful,” or at the least, make me feel silly enough to put a soft edge on the pain. It would be some sort of “evolved” ritual to call my Mom and let her know I made it. The WEIRD thing to me is – she of course already KNOWS if I made it! So, as I write this while on vacation, I wonder if it would be feel good and make more sense to write her a postcard?! Update her with little snippets, the things I see or eat or observe that makes me, “I’ll tell Mommy about this later, she would like it.” I think I would even enjoy the process of picking out a postcard for her. However, I am ALREADY struggling with getting myself to get rid of some of her things that I have NO reason to keep. So, I do not want to set myself up to struggle with more physical items… Maybe a virtual something-or-other? She was also the ONLY person I got souvenirs for in the past few years. Could something fill that little painful hole in my heart too? Hmmmm… more to come perhaps.

Ahhh grief, my sacred friend, you do not take any vacations, even during my vacation.