One of the most difficult parts of the mourning process many widowed people experience is the loss of future occasions including holidays and anniversaries. We find ourselves listening to long-time married friends, family members and colleagues as they speak glowingly of their trips and celebrations of decades spent in togetherness. While we are truly happy […]
Blog
Event Horizon
My nephew Kevin has two kids, eleven-year-old Alyssa, and her twelve-year-old brother Nathan. For reasons I’ve never understood, a few years ago Alyysa decided that she was going to adopt a new first name. Today “Alex” is the only moniker that she will answer to. Not to be outdone, Nathan thereafter abandoned his given name […]
Missing
It began with a need for a garment bag the kind from the cleaners with its pre-slit hole for the hanger — dry cleaners size — with child safety warning included. I doubted I had one but went into my closet searching for a stray lingering on the closet rod. I notice a […]
“Relativiser”
Image on Unsplash by Dan DeAlmeida A long, long time ago, I had a lovely colleague, (let’s call her Jeanne), who had a similar role to me, except she was head of a different office in our consulting firm. She was a bit older than me, and had had all of her three kids before […]
Hug a Widow(er)
This weekend I went out with some girlfriends. Our original plans were foiled when the cover band we wanted to see had to cancel their show due to illness. So, we pivoted and ended up at a country bar that recently reopened. I don’t know when the original one closed, but I can tell you […]
Being Alone
Its funny and a bit fascinating how the idea of “being alone” changes with the decades, with life, and with living through widowhood. Ive always been an independent person. I love being around people, but I NEED my solitude and I need my alone time. When I was 18, I moved from small town Massachusetts […]
Waters of Significance
In last Saturday’s post, I shared the continuing process of spreading my late husband’s cremains throughout multiple watery locations. Choosing these meaningful places for this journey has been an important step for me, and others, in the mourning progress and honoring Rich as he’d wished to be. As a watery theme had run […]
100 years to live.
This weekend I went to a family friend’s 100th birthday celebration. I think it was the first time I’d ever been to a 100th birthday party and I am so glad I was able to be there. This woman is very special to me and my family, and someone who has touched so many lives […]
A New Leaf
Robyn and I were planning a weekend trip to visit my old and dear friends, Craig and Donna, whom I’ve mentioned here multiple times Robyn made this trip with me once previously. She is a good sport about such things. In any case, a few days before our departure Craig called to tell me that […]
For once, the tears weren’t (only) mine
Main Image by Zac Ong on Unsplash Last Sunday I completed a 20 km running event. My first event of that distance (or so) in three years. I wrote about the run’s run-up last week. I have so often been on the verge of tears at various points in long runs – whether they are […]
Anti At-Least Parenting
Parenting solo is hard. I could self-criticize plenty of things I did better when there were two of us, but I’m not here to dwell on those today. This weekend, I realized how grief has changed a specific part of my parenting style for the better. Saturday morning, my middle son was woken up by […]
Look Who Is Coming to Thanksgiving Dinner!
In less than two weeks, it will be Thanksgiving. This was Don’s favorite holiday, by far. He loved it for so many reasons. He used to say some version of: “Incredible food, your mom’s apple pie, endless football games, I don’t have to dress up or go anywhere fancy and I don’t need to buy […]