The aftermath of loss can be filled with many things. Exhaustion, pain, tears, hope, hopelessness, guilt, new friends, new perspective, more exhaustion, confusion, identity crisis, and so much more. The aftermath of coming home after a Camp Widow weekend experience can be filled with some of those same things. Going to Tampa and giving my […]
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The “He(a)ling” Power of The Paw
My mom passed just a little over a month ago and I’m feeling that loss more strongly these days. It seems to compound the other losses experienced by myself and my family over the past two and a half years. I especially feel it in the early evening when she’d always call me like clockwork. […]
Another Trip Around The Sun
I’ve been reflecting a lot lately. I go through phases like this where I turn inward and time travel through my past. Sometimes I’ll be able to almost relive moments in time in my mind. I can remember the smallest of details from days even when I was a small child. I’m not sure why […]
Re-post (Again)
Last year around this same time I first reprinted the post below (with commentary). It seemed the right time and I can assure you that it was heartfelt. Not much has changed. Lola and I are back on the road this week. The one thing I would add is that this year marks Lee’s milestone […]
The Art of Camp Widow
I choose art media like I choose sandwiches. I go with my favorite. The sure thing. What I love the most — Collage. Creating through collage requires bringing many things together into a whole. Like community, it feels like “Here comes everybody!” or, better, “Here come all the things.” This was Camp Widow Tampa, 2024. […]
Managing the Storm
A repost! Ever since Erik’s passing I’ve had a hard time finding something just for myself. Something that would take my mind off grieving just for a little bit, but also something I could look forward to that wasn’t just obligations of daily life. Around the 6 month mark, people started telling me, “You need […]
When it Rains it Pours
What a week! Sometimes, life just piles it on, doesn’t it? Last week, was spring break so the kids were home all week. I didn’t take any time off work, so we did our best to balance it all. They ran a little feral through the neighborhood with their friends. I had to replenish the […]
Green Lights Ahead
This weekend some widowed individuals will be attending Camp Widow in Tampa, Florida. I wish the organizers and all the attendees an inspiring and comforting event. The last official weekend-long Camp Widow will take place in San Diego, CA in July. My experience there last year as a first-time camper and presenter was definitely a […]
If Only
Spring is here in Southern Oregon and today is one of those perfect type of days. It’s about 60 degrees and sunny at 6pm. The sky is a rich shade of blue, making me long for warm summer days to come. I’m currently sitting on my deck. On one of the chairs next to me […]
Same Time Next Year?
Lola and I leave Tucson for home in just a few more days. I had been toying with the idea of driving north from here to Denver, then heading east on Interstate Highway 70. Doing so would allow for new sights and adventures. To this flatlander, at least, driving over and through the Rocky Mountains […]
Facing Fear
A Conversation I see you, fear. I see you once again and say ‘hey’ formidable crafty opposer. Mess-making friend who turns the neatly arranged inner furniture up-side-down and brings all manner of havoc to me— unbidden. You arrive at my door in many costumes; posing beneath a plethora of masks and feelings; […]
The Solo Road
As many of us know, being a solo parent has many, many challenges to say the least. Lately trying to balance being a solo mom with dealing with my grief has been quite overwhelming as we inch closer to Erik’s second death anniversary. Early on in my grief, a lot of my insecurities and worries […]