shock & grief / hope ~ ups / downs ~ hurt feelings / kindness unexpected disappearances / lovely returns lots of tears / but also some laughter loneliness / community ~ isolation / travel I made it through all of those “firsts” since Jim died – and all of those memories of […]
Widowed Anniversaries
Thank You, Calgary
What a perfect place for me to be during this hard week of loss and memories … a beautiful park just a few blocks from my hotel, those incredibly beautiful lakes in and around the Banff National Forest, reconnecting and meeting in person some of the widowed friends I met online back in 2020 during […]
Rolling on the River
This Monday, September 28th, would’ve been our 30th Wedding Anniversary. What a beautiful day it was spent with our guests on the River Queen on the Manasquan River in New Jersey. Today, while doing some cleaning out, I came upon a framed wedding photo in the drawer of a piece of furniture I am […]
This is the week …
Posting this blog 16 years to the day after Vern passed … and spending this important week here in Calgary, Canada, honoring both Vern’s and Jim’s passings. Vern died September 22, 2010 … Jim died September 26, 2025 I do find it rather amazing that my loss dates fall within the same week, as do […]
A “Weekness” for Dogs
September brings a month of mixed-emotions for me. This week for instance, I was reminded that five years ago, Rich and I were headed from Georgia to a family wedding in Virginia then on to New Jersey to help clean out our family home in New Jersey. We also made a trip to the Jersey […]
September Morn …
Stay with me awhile I only wanna talk with you Losing Jim has brought back many of the feelings I had when I lost Vern nearly 16 years ago. Of course, those feelings never really went away but were tucked in a safe space most days. Perhaps this is a blessing. Both of my men […]
My “Old Florida” Haven
Last Tuesday brought the third anniversary of the closing on the purchase of my log home in rural Florida. So much has changed since I landed in this place that a friend once described as being in the middle of the middle of nowhere. Some days it does seem that way, but there is something […]
Ocean waves, starry nights = healing magic
My week at the beach was so very lovely. A beautiful gift to myself during such a special week. Two husbands. Two wedding anniversaries. Plenty of time to reminisce. To cry. To rest. To rejuvenate. And I do feel better. Much better. More positive. Ready to try to do a better job at living my […]
Ah … the ocean
“The ocean is blue poetry written in a language the soul somehow understands.” Anonymous I am so very happy I decided to schedule this important week at the ocean. And I was wise to break up my drive into two days – and grateful my car held up through that especially hot drive through the […]
Hello August … Hello Melancholy
For the past 16 years I’ve been visited by a melancholy that begins mid-August and lasts through September. Some years it has spoken quite loudly; other years just a quiet whisper. This year feels especially heavy. I’ve mentioned previously that my two wedding anniversaries and two death dates are very closely connected: I married Vern […]
Don’t Let the Hard Days Win
I fully expected to be able to write today and share the excursions Sheila and I have taken this week. Instead, my only excursions have been to doctor offices. I am so tired of this. I’m grateful that I’ve been pretty darn healthy most of my 75 years (in spite of my poor eating habits […]
Why June Is My Most Challenging Month
Whenever I choose, I can fill my head with swirls of happier images, my sense impressions of my life with Lee. I don’t need to look at our wedding photographs to conjure these emotions; indeed, I couldn’t tell you the last time I sat down to peruse the album of wedding photographs in my bookcase. […]