My week at the beach was so very lovely. A beautiful gift to myself during such a special week. Two husbands. Two wedding anniversaries. Plenty of time to reminisce. To cry. To rest. To rejuvenate. And I do feel better. Much better. More positive. Ready to try to do a better job at living my […]
Widowed Anniversaries
Ah … the ocean
“The ocean is blue poetry written in a language the soul somehow understands.” Anonymous I am so very happy I decided to schedule this important week at the ocean. And I was wise to break up my drive into two days – and grateful my car held up through that especially hot drive through the […]
Hello August … Hello Melancholy
For the past 16 years I’ve been visited by a melancholy that begins mid-August and lasts through September. Some years it has spoken quite loudly; other years just a quiet whisper. This year feels especially heavy. I’ve mentioned previously that my two wedding anniversaries and two death dates are very closely connected: I married Vern […]
Don’t Let the Hard Days Win
I fully expected to be able to write today and share the excursions Sheila and I have taken this week. Instead, my only excursions have been to doctor offices. I am so tired of this. I’m grateful that I’ve been pretty darn healthy most of my 75 years (in spite of my poor eating habits […]
Why June Is My Most Challenging Month
Whenever I choose, I can fill my head with swirls of happier images, my sense impressions of my life with Lee. I don’t need to look at our wedding photographs to conjure these emotions; indeed, I couldn’t tell you the last time I sat down to peruse the album of wedding photographs in my bookcase. […]
Life’s Ups and Downs
May 3rd marked what would have been Mario’s 53rd birthday. So it was one of those anniversaries. In life, Mario never made a big deal out of his birthdays. Like I’ve mentioned before, I think it was because he knew he’d get a more limited amount of them than some people get. But rather than […]
Alternate Routes
It was an eventful week filled with emotional milestones. I spent most of the week up in Georgia again to ready my home for a new tenant. As I’ve shared previously, I put my house up for sale two months ago and in doing so, invested considerable energy and funds to make it shine. I […]
DeathFest V in Review
A week ago, I hosted a party called DeathFest V (5) to honor the life Tony lived and the person he was. Tony loved revelry with all the people he loved. Even though the party had a dark name, gathering together was at the center of the event. As I built the invite list, I […]
April 20th
Today, April 20th, is the fifth anniversary of Tony’s death. Yesterday I thew a huge party in his honor. (More on that next week.) As a result, my heart is both empty and overflowing with love. I had a soul cleansing cry at the end of the night (which was technically today). It was good […]
Right Before
Isn’t it weird to look back on the week before their passing? Depending on the circumstances of their death, that week has a kaleidoscope of events across our widowhoods. For us, life was thrumming along. Spring was coming but the last dregs of winter were holding on. Kids sports were getting ready to hit full […]
A Party to Plan
This week we turn the calendar to April. Once again, I will find myself in the month that Tony passed. What feels crazy to me is that this year will be the 5th anniversary of his death. Five years is bananas. It’s hard to believe that much time has passed. A month or so ago, […]
Anniversary Missives
St. Patrick’s Day was/is Tony and my wedding anniversary. This year, we should have been celebrating our 19th. Instead, we are always stuck at 14. Walking through the wedding anniversary grief always hits a little different. It is a striking reminder of our widowhood coupled with their death. The other big days, like their birthday […]