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Showing Up

Showing Up

to Meet the Magic It all started with remembering how my late husband, an extrovert, was so great about having energy for everything. Last minute gathering with our kids? No problem. Just tell me where...

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Yes, You Can

Yes, You Can

Lately, with the holiday season coming into full swing I’ve been feeling more and more overwhelmed. Another holiday season without Erik. Another holiday season where I’m the solo parent trying to create...

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Oh Christmas Tree

Oh Christmas Tree

I know it is only December 4th, but I am struggling to catch the holiday spirit this year. I seem to be doing everything holiday related halfway. Most of the holiday décor is on display, but not the tree...

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Getting Back on the Write Road and a Tribute to Lonnie Hull Dupont

Getting Back on the Write Road and a Tribute to Lonnie Hull Dupont

As I resettle in to life in to life in a log home in rural Florida, my creativity is encouraged by the slower pace of life and natural beauty of this area. Unpacking more boxes, I recently came upon a...

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Optimizing

Optimizing

I’m kind of the polar opposite to my departed spouse when it comes to health. Oh sure, I had some “party years” back when I was younger, but by the time I hit 30, I was pretty much over all of that...

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Unexpected Weeping Session

Unexpected Weeping Session

Arrives as Gift   It all started with a parrot, followed by two or more yapping chihuahuas. A din. The parrot screamed: Mom! Mom! Incessant barking sounded through the fence as loud, or louder, than...

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Sailing the Seas

Sailing the Seas

Last year after we celebrated the twins’ birthday for the first year without Erik, I realized sitting in the quiet aftermath of the party that I did not want to do this anymore moving forward. I didn’t...

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Entering My Cat Lady Era

Entering My Cat Lady Era

Welp. I am no longer a cat lady without any cats. A week and a half ago I caved and said yes to adopting a cat. The cat belonged to my friend’s mom who passed away a little over a month ago. My friend...

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Olde Florida, New Traditions

Olde Florida, New Traditions

I awoke this Saturday Morning realizing I hadn’t prepared a post for today. The onset of the Holiday Season, my Mom’s health issues in New York State that took me away for days and of course...

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The inevitable Question.

The inevitable Question.

While the question can take many forms, the topic always revolves around moving on to a new relationship. I’ll preface this post by stating that everyone who has been widowed is unique. Some may...

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Thanksgiving Then and Now

Thanksgiving Then and Now

As in most families, our Thanksgiving traditions had their own rhythms.  We’d gather at mom and dads’ place around mid-afternoon. You could count on my sister to arrive on time except when she arrived...

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the seed of me

the seed of me

what shape waits . . . the shape of what was what is what will be transformation. how am I different? or the same? in the seed of you . . . the seed of me of sorrow of grief of survival of resilience of...

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Newly Widowed

Showing Up

Showing Up

to Meet the Magic It all started with remembering how my late husband, an extrovert, was so great about having energy for everything. Last minute gathering with our kids? No problem. Just tell me where...

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A Wandering Poem Came to Me

A Wandering Poem Came to Me

To Teach Me of Myself   The Universe is immense; yet, we are able to find ourselves if we pay attention.   The Universe is a map for beginnings and endings; for what-if’s and what-about’s;...

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The day after.

The day after.

How many times have you thought back to your “day after”? That day, after your spouse shuffled off their mortal coil and you had to face a whole new life on your own, is not one that’s...

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Pursuing the Practical:

Pursuing the Practical:

What do I need in this moment? Along the path of grieving, I’ve found many practical and proactive steps I can take to avoid trauma and to tune into my needs on a daily basis. With therapy, books,...

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What is Grief . . .

What is Grief . . .

. . someone asked. a puzzle an enigma one long and unpredictable complication . . . a testament to love.   grief   the remnant from the flood   proof that love existed   love’s...

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Steps Toward Healing

Steps Toward Healing

Step-by-Step we grow through grief   Merriam-Webster defines “step” as STEP n. 1 – an action planned or taken to achieve a desired result     2 – an individual part of a...

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I Died Too

I Died Too

A repost worth sharing! And another grief bomb hits. Earlier this week I went on my business as I normally do. The day-to-day activities that used to feel so impossible after Erik’s passing have now...

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Pause

Pause

            There are times when words fail   when life demands pause.       There are times when Life fails   Humans fail   Goodness fails;...

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An Invitation: Be Water

An Invitation: Be Water

  Be water. Flowing, flexible and soft.   a still pond invites insect landings; water responds with ripples (My responses to life can be gentle or fierce)   Subtly powerful   power...

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Self Compassion

Self Compassion

Revisited The poetry in italics are quotes from a blog post entitled Self Compassion written by my earlier widowed self. This post is a clarification and love note to my current widowed self.   When...

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Introverts: Stay in the Work

Introverts: Stay in the Work

I get overwhelmed easily with “too many” of anything. Too many choices, too many words at first glance, too many ways to find my way to peace and healing. I have to back away. Take a beat...

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A Widowed Introvert: Part Four

A Widowed Introvert: Part Four

How does resilience help widowed people heal? The Soaring Spirits Resilience Center research team asked widowed people to help us define resilience as it applies to the widowed experience and the results...

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Soaring Spirits Interational

Soaring Spirits Interational

Soaring Spirits builds community. We create, and maintain, innovative peer-based grief support programs for widowed men and women that serve a worldwide population. Based on the powerful connections created by shared experience, we endeavor to ensure that no one need grieve alone.

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Green Pastures

Green Pastures

It had rained non-stop from Illinois and Indiana through Ohio and Kentucky, into parts of Tennessee, crisscrossing the Great Smokey Mountains.  A challenging stretch of road for two flatlanders but we...

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Will Weddings Always Be Hard

Will Weddings Always Be Hard

A fellow widow asked if weddings would always be hard for us to go to and I found myself looking back to the first wedding I attended after Tony died. It was an out-of-town wedding that took place 6 weeks...

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Three Years’ Ago This Week

Three Years’ Ago This Week

Lee died three years’ ago this week — on July 2 to be precise. This year the date fell on a Sunday. This year, when I awoke, Robyn was with me. I felt no ambivalence about this circumstance...

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The trickiness of “How Are You?”

The trickiness of “How Are You?”

Image by Markus Spiske on Unsplash Yesterday, a fellow widbud, a woman I have never met but who someone connected with me, and who lost her husband just before Christmas 2022 after a very short illness,...

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Time After Time After Time After Time

Time After Time After Time After Time

Photos my own This is – and will continue to be – a weekend full of experiments. A lot of my life is still versions of experimentation, if not in the ways it was immediately post-loss(es) when even...

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“The relationship I always wanted….”

“The relationship I always wanted….”

Photo of my parents in 1961 in Córdoba, Spain – from their archives Medjool and I have just had a lovely 10 day “working break”, based mostly at my parents’ house in Céret in the Pyrénées...

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I wish I could better imagine…

I wish I could better imagine…

Photos my own – taken at Christmas 2022, on runs with my dad Sometimes I stop short in my tracks and realise with desperate sadness that I can no longer imagine what my life would be like with Mike...

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What do Mother’s Day, Handy Men, T-shirts and Jazz have in common?

What do Mother’s Day, Handy Men, T-shirts and Jazz have in common?

Photo my own   You might well ask. Well, one answer, and the only one I have right now, is that these words, or words related to them, are on sticky notes, forming a dense, colourful and messy pile,...

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Credits

Credits

Photo my own screenshot  A long, long time ago, back in the last millennium, in the time when there were dinosaurs, and during the 7 month period between 1997 and 1998 where I had a brilliantly exciting...

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Grief Work

Grief Work

Over the past  6 months or so I have started to realize how much more grief work I have to do. I think I went through a period where it felt like I had done it all. Not that I was “over it”...

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8th April

8th April

Photos my own, taken today   It generates a sicky feeling in my tummy. A sinking of my heart. A shortening of my breath. An increase in my heart’s rate. A tensing of my belly. A weakening of my...

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Taking Stock

Taking Stock

I’ve explained that my recent travels with Lola the pup to explore Arizona and parts southwest felt like an imperative. Simply put, I had to go. To accomplish the mission I did a lot of driving over...

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Yes, You Can

Yes, You Can

Lately, with the holiday season coming into full swing I’ve been feeling more and more overwhelmed. Another holiday season without Erik. Another holiday season where I’m the solo parent trying to create...

Read More

Oh Christmas Tree

Oh Christmas Tree

I know it is only December 4th, but I am struggling to catch the holiday spirit this year. I seem to be doing everything holiday related halfway. Most of the holiday décor is on display, but not the tree...

Read More

Unexpected Weeping Session

Unexpected Weeping Session

Arrives as Gift   It all started with a parrot, followed by two or more yapping chihuahuas. A din. The parrot screamed: Mom! Mom! Incessant barking sounded through the fence as loud, or louder, than...

Read More

Thanksgiving Then and Now

Thanksgiving Then and Now

As in most families, our Thanksgiving traditions had their own rhythms.  We’d gather at mom and dads’ place around mid-afternoon. You could count on my sister to arrive on time except when she arrived...

Read More

Colder Weather

Colder Weather

With my second Thanksgiving without Erik right around the corner, I find myself getting multiple flashbacks of all our past Thanksgivings. Thanksgiving was the first time I introduced Erik to my family...

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Keeping “Up” in UpState Country

Keeping “Up” in UpState Country

Last week I wrote about “Settling In” as I continue to adapt to my new life in a log home in rural Central Florida. It’s been a “challenging” time. Over the course of less than 4 months, I purchased...

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The Last Thanksgiving

The Last Thanksgiving

Trigger alerts for: addiction, depression, and bitter sweet holiday memories. The last Thanksgiving that Mario and I had together was in 2020. It was the pandemic year, so we didn’t have a large...

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Honoring El Dia de Los Muertos

Honoring El Dia de Los Muertos

According to the History Channel Website, ‘The Day of the Dead (el Día de los Muertos), is a Mexican holiday where families welcome back the souls of their deceased relatives for a brief reunion that...

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Another Halloween Without You

Another Halloween Without You

Today is Halloween. Yet another holiday that Erik is no longer here for. The days leading up to any holiday always puts me in a strange mood. The anxiety levels become higher than they normally are. The...

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Ghost Travels

Ghost Travels

“Live people ignore the strange and unusual. I myself am strange and unusual.” – Lydia Deetz (Beetlejuice) From a very young age I was always fascinated with the strange and unusual (it’s...

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As the Seasons Change

As the Seasons Change

The reality of the seasons changing is hitting me a little differently this year. This past week we took our family photos for the upcoming season and it was the first true holiday photo session I had...

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Halloween Decorations

Halloween Decorations

The seasons are changing here in the Midwest and everywhere you look is a plethora of pumpkin spice and Halloween. Houses are decorated with giant spiders, pumpkins, ghosts, skeletons, and tombstones...

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Camp Widow®

Camp Widow®

Camp Widow® is a unique and incredible experience. This program provides both practical tools and relevant resources for widowed persons rebuilding their lives in the aftermath of the death of a spouse or partner.

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Showing Up

Showing Up

to Meet the Magic It all started with remembering how my late husband, an extrovert, was so great about having energy for everything. Last minute gathering with our kids? No problem. Just tell me where...

Read More

Yes, You Can

Yes, You Can

Lately, with the holiday season coming into full swing I’ve been feeling more and more overwhelmed. Another holiday season without Erik. Another holiday season where I’m the solo parent trying to create...

Read More

Oh Christmas Tree

Oh Christmas Tree

I know it is only December 4th, but I am struggling to catch the holiday spirit this year. I seem to be doing everything holiday related halfway. Most of the holiday décor is on display, but not the tree...

Read More

Getting Back on the Write Road and a Tribute to Lonnie Hull Dupont

Getting Back on the Write Road and a Tribute to Lonnie Hull Dupont

As I resettle in to life in to life in a log home in rural Florida, my creativity is encouraged by the slower pace of life and natural beauty of this area. Unpacking more boxes, I recently came upon a...

Read More

Unexpected Weeping Session

Unexpected Weeping Session

Arrives as Gift   It all started with a parrot, followed by two or more yapping chihuahuas. A din. The parrot screamed: Mom! Mom! Incessant barking sounded through the fence as loud, or louder, than...

Read More

Sailing the Seas

Sailing the Seas

Last year after we celebrated the twins’ birthday for the first year without Erik, I realized sitting in the quiet aftermath of the party that I did not want to do this anymore moving forward. I didn’t...

Read More

Entering My Cat Lady Era

Entering My Cat Lady Era

Welp. I am no longer a cat lady without any cats. A week and a half ago I caved and said yes to adopting a cat. The cat belonged to my friend’s mom who passed away a little over a month ago. My friend...

Read More

the seed of me

the seed of me

what shape waits . . . the shape of what was what is what will be transformation. how am I different? or the same? in the seed of you . . . the seed of me of sorrow of grief of survival of resilience of...

Read More

Colder Weather

Colder Weather

With my second Thanksgiving without Erik right around the corner, I find myself getting multiple flashbacks of all our past Thanksgivings. Thanksgiving was the first time I introduced Erik to my family...

Read More

Church of Beginnings and Endings

Church of Beginnings and Endings

About three weeks ago, I attended a funeral at the church where Tony and I were married. It was the first time I had been in that church since his passing. The service that day was for one our close friend’s...

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One Thousand Five Hundred Twenty-Seven

One Thousand Five Hundred Twenty-Seven

It’s a recurring theme for me: something occurs that roils my emotional waters, instantly flooding me with dark memories of grief-filled days when the icy reality of Lee’s death occupied my every waking...

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Things They’ve Missed

Things They’ve Missed

Or Have They? There are plenty of things about widowhood that are “stage” reliant. How many days, weeks, or months its been since our person died. How many years since they left us. But the...

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Honoring El Dia de Los Muertos

Honoring El Dia de Los Muertos

According to the History Channel Website, ‘The Day of the Dead (el Día de los Muertos), is a Mexican holiday where families welcome back the souls of their deceased relatives for a brief reunion that...

Read More

A New Manifestation

A New Manifestation

Today is the anniversary date of my husband Rich’s passing. I recently read a Post on the Soaring Spirits International Facebook page that discussed how we deal with “Our Month”, a time of year when...

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Stops Along the Road

Stops Along the Road

On Thursday, September 28th, Rich and I would’ve celebrated our 27th Wedding Anniversary. As I’ve shared in my bi-line and bio below, we celebrated our 25th anniversary up at the Jersey Shore, also...

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Pleasant Beginnings

Pleasant Beginnings

To comprehend how far we’ve moved forward after a life-changing event, it’s helpful to take a look back. I often ask myself to recall what I was doing a year, or even more, earlier at any given time...

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August Slipped Away

August Slipped Away

August has always been such a busy month in our lives. Our entire family’s birthdays. Summer plans, parties, trips…memories. This past month, mostly these past two weeks have been more of a rollercoaster...

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The Mosson Love Story

The Mosson Love Story

As my birthday approaches next week so does the day that I met Erik. I met him the day after my 21st birthday. I always told him getting to meet him was my late, but amazing life-changing birthday gift...

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“Winding” My Own Business

“Winding” My Own Business

  It is hard for me to grasp that next month marks one year that I’ve posted here at The Widow’s Voice. Each one of the “Blogging Seven” – one writer for each day of the week –...

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July 25th

July 25th

Another July 25th has come and gone. It was the day that Boris and I used to call our dating anniversary. We weren’t really sure when our actual anniversary was, but I knew it was around this time...

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Widowed Customs: The Ring

Widowed Customs: The Ring

Another 4th of July—another wedding anniversary for the books. Dan left on April 15, 2021, so the first anniversary without him came up just three months after his burial. At just over two years...

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Dos Urban Cantinos

Dos Urban Cantinos

Paul texted me Tuesday morning. He said that he wanted to see me and would come by my place. He suggested that we should have dinner together. I strongly suspected Paul’s message had not arrived entirely...

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I Said Yes!

I Said Yes!

Yesterday, April 28th marked the anniversary of my engagement to my late husband, Rich, in 1996, and also the 18 month milestone of my Widowhood Journey. Both milestones represent life-changing occasions...

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Deathiversary Two

Deathiversary Two

Last week was a heavy week for me. Thursday marked two years since Tony died by suicide, leaving behind unanswered questions and heartache. These are the waves of grief we see coming and we can almost...

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The Widowed Resilience Scale

The Widowed Resilience Scale

Resilience is defined as the ability to ‘bounce back’ or recover from a traumatic life event or circumstance. According to the Holmes and Rahe Social Readjustment Scale widowhood rates as one of life’s most challenging experiences. This fact has driven the desire to study resilience in widowhood and identify the ways in which resilience can be built in men and women who have experienced conjugal loss.

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Featured Author

Meet this weeks Widow's Voice author.

Emma Pearson

Emma Pearson

My life is a whirling mix of swishy strands, dark and glowing brightly, rough and silky smooth – all attempting to be seen, felt and integrated at once. Here are some of my themes.

I am British

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