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A Holiday Dinner Party

A Holiday Dinner Party

Before Lee died, she had told Amy, her good friend, that she regretted her death was going to seriously challenge my well-being. Of course, Lee was right. Amy had shared this conversation with me in the...

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In Between

In Between

and Betwixt. I’m ill with Covid.   Illness is one of those things; a part of life; an activity of the living.   In between and betwixt countless other dailies that are just for me now...

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Did I hear you say “…my surviving kids…”?

Did I hear you say “…my surviving kids…”?

Photo of my surviving kids, 27 July 2020, on what would have been their dad’s 57th birthday I was on a call last night for a personal-professional (same-same) development programme. It was the fifth...

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Signs from a Stocking

Signs from a Stocking

We are coming into the thick of the holiday season now. I’ve already been to 1 holiday party, and I have 2 more scheduled this week and the following. It feels a little excessive this year but I’m...

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Songbird

Songbird

Thats how I feel. Blah. For the past couple of months or so, my body feels blah and tired and just drained, I guess. I’ve been having trouble getting out emotions. Its weird, but I got really sad...

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Dancing with the Scars

Dancing with the Scars

In early December of last year, a little peaches and cream ball of fluff entered my lonely life at just the “write time”. The following appeared in Ruff Drafts, the official newsletter of the...

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Dear Boris, it’s the holiday season again.

Dear Boris, it’s the holiday season again.

Dear Boris, It’s the holiday season, which means a lot of things. It means everyone is feeling excited and cozy, and things feel busy and stressful. And I always loved the holidays until you died. And...

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Early Morning Musings In Between Holidays

Early Morning Musings In Between Holidays

In 2021, seven months after Dan died, Thanksgiving arrived. In the calendar of our family traditions Christmas arrived just 32 days later. It is hard to believe that this is only the second holiday season...

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Being friends because your friend is dead

Being friends because your friend is dead

I have been having a few lovely days in Paris. It might be best known for being gorgeous in the Spring, and I do like it in the Summer too, but I think it’s lovely in the Autumn as well. Plenty of trees...

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Account Changes are Hard

Account Changes are Hard

Today the plan was to write about how we put things off because we know it’s going to be hard. We have enough hard so if there’s a path of less resistance, I might just follow it. And then I put writing...

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Some Holidays are Better Than Others

Some Holidays are Better Than Others

One of the most difficult parts of the mourning process many widowed people experience is the loss of future occasions including holidays and anniversaries. We find ourselves listening to long-time married...

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Thankful and bitter.

Thankful and bitter.

At the time of year when we traditionally pause to give thanks and reflect on the things we are grateful for, I often feel like a bitter person. I feel like everyone else is so full of gratitude, even...

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Newly Widowed

In Between

In Between

and Betwixt. I’m ill with Covid.   Illness is one of those things; a part of life; an activity of the living.   In between and betwixt countless other dailies that are just for me now...

Read More

Early Morning Musings In Between Holidays

Early Morning Musings In Between Holidays

In 2021, seven months after Dan died, Thanksgiving arrived. In the calendar of our family traditions Christmas arrived just 32 days later. It is hard to believe that this is only the second holiday season...

Read More

Missing

Missing

It began with a need for a garment bag the kind from the cleaners with its pre-slit hole for the hanger — dry cleaners size — with child safety warning included.   I doubted I had one...

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Art as a Tool for Healing

Art as a Tool for Healing

An Invitation Making art—giving form to the images that arise in our mind’s eye, our dreams, and our everyday lives—is a form of spiritual practice through which knowledge of ourselves...

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Cumulative Grief

Cumulative Grief

  When you’ve experienced multiple losses within a short period of time, you may begin to wonder how much more loss you can endure. This is known as Cumulative Grief, when one experiences multiple...

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Medicine From the Body

Medicine From the Body

Scrolling Facebook recently, I came upon this brilliant bit of medicine by John Roedel. Thank you, John, for this viral post. Deep bow to you. The world consents to the wisdom in these words. Note: The...

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Good Thoughts and Prayers

Good Thoughts and Prayers

I’ve found it difficult to recall the rapidly unfolding events that occurred this week one year ago.  The beautiful fall weather in the South features lack of the nearly year-round humidity. Clear Cerulean...

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Today and yesterday (and weeks, months, years prior) . . .

Today and yesterday (and weeks, months, years prior) . . .

. . sunflowers continue to bring joy! Do you ever feel “off” in your day…in your body…in the events that transpire between waking in the morning and lying down at day’s...

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Finding My Way in Year Two

Finding My Way in Year Two

Which Direction? Which Decision? Being lost is not new to me. My inner navigation plan is usually this: If you think you should turn right, it is highly likely you should turn left. Truth. I admire those...

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The Fine Art of Inoculation

The Fine Art of Inoculation

  I’ve been anxious about this fall season marking the one year anniversary when life as I’d known it for nearly 30 years profoundly changed with the swift and unexpected passing of my husband,...

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Who would’ve thunk it?

Who would’ve thunk it?

A lesson on asking for help. A common conversation among widowed folks is talking about what we miss after our person dies. What comes up first are the special things, the hugs, kisses, dancing, teasing,...

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The Space in Between

The Space in Between

. . Mystery   awake i wonder where are you now?   feeling you is – for me – proof that somehow you still exist.   arriving not at my will   i wait   i wonder  ...

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Soaring Spirits Interational

Soaring Spirits Interational

Soaring Spirits builds community. We create, and maintain, innovative peer-based grief support programs for widowed men and women that serve a worldwide population. Based on the powerful connections created by shared experience, we endeavor to ensure that no one need grieve alone.

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For once, the tears weren’t (only) mine

For once, the tears weren’t (only) mine

Main Image by Zac Ong on Unsplash Last Sunday I completed a 20 km running event. My first event of that distance (or so) in three years. I wrote about the run’s run-up last week. I have so often been...

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Witnessing Deep, Rich Love, Sorrow and Pain in Others

Witnessing Deep, Rich Love, Sorrow and Pain in Others

Image by Whoislimos on Unsplash I spent some deeply touching moments, minutes, hours yesterday evening, during my shift at the hospice. We have a beautiful new resident. She is a true beauty. Glorious...

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Alone

Alone

Image by Greg Rakozy on Unsplash I love David Whyte’s Poetry and Writings. I love David Whyte’s voice and the way he reads his Work. I love how he turns words over, how he massages formerly unnoticed...

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Turnover

Turnover

I saw that Bryan, until just recently our Saturday contributor, has announced his retirement from his spot on this Blog and introduced his successor. He is not the first. There is precedent for how such...

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Rougher and Smoother Grief Grooves

Rougher and Smoother Grief Grooves

Main image by Leslie Cross on Unsplash. Other pictures my own.  Last weekend, Medjool and I went to the Valais to enjoy a late summer weekend of mountain walking. The hotel and two nights’ accommodation...

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The Unconclusive Conclusion

The Unconclusive Conclusion

While writing this blog, I was forced to revisit and relive more than just my widowed walk. I dove back in time through many memories I had forgotten or hidden. In reflecting back, how ironic was it that...

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Push and Pull

Push and Pull

In 2023 I am going to overwinter in the desert. This week a whiff of Fall in the air prompted me to start my travel research. Of course, I knew my destination but not how best to get there. I was looking...

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Revisiting My Tears

Revisiting My Tears

Earlier this week I sat down at the computer, intending to pound out an article about Labor Day being the unofficial end of Summer, but could not get past the vision I was having of Lee: I’m watching...

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Stop Rushing Towards The Grief

Stop Rushing Towards The Grief

I distinctly remember being in the 5th grade and saying: “Just 7 more years until I graduate. Then it’s college and dolphin training. Hang in there Bryan, it’s just 7 more years.” I wanted to be...

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A Pyrenean Adventure Written in Thumb and Swype

A Pyrenean Adventure Written in Thumb and Swype

27 August 2022 I thought I would pull together the various updates I posted on to Facebook when I had occasional internet access during our Pyrenean Haute Route – begun last summer, and completed this...

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Musings About Dating

Musings About Dating

When and if you decide to start dating again, you know the road isn’t going to be easy. It wasn’t easy in my twenties, why would it be easy in my forties? There will be times that it’s fun and there...

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Why her? Why you? Why now?

Why her? Why you? Why now?

This post from Emma from early 2021 still resonates….we all ask the “Why” question. Medjool has a precious childhood friend – let’s call him Yves – who is still very much a presence...

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A Holiday Dinner Party

A Holiday Dinner Party

Before Lee died, she had told Amy, her good friend, that she regretted her death was going to seriously challenge my well-being. Of course, Lee was right. Amy had shared this conversation with me in the...

Read More

In Between

In Between

and Betwixt. I’m ill with Covid.   Illness is one of those things; a part of life; an activity of the living.   In between and betwixt countless other dailies that are just for me now...

Read More

Signs from a Stocking

Signs from a Stocking

We are coming into the thick of the holiday season now. I’ve already been to 1 holiday party, and I have 2 more scheduled this week and the following. It feels a little excessive this year but I’m...

Read More

Dancing with the Scars

Dancing with the Scars

In early December of last year, a little peaches and cream ball of fluff entered my lonely life at just the “write time”. The following appeared in Ruff Drafts, the official newsletter of the...

Read More

Dear Boris, it’s the holiday season again.

Dear Boris, it’s the holiday season again.

Dear Boris, It’s the holiday season, which means a lot of things. It means everyone is feeling excited and cozy, and things feel busy and stressful. And I always loved the holidays until you died. And...

Read More

Early Morning Musings In Between Holidays

Early Morning Musings In Between Holidays

In 2021, seven months after Dan died, Thanksgiving arrived. In the calendar of our family traditions Christmas arrived just 32 days later. It is hard to believe that this is only the second holiday season...

Read More

Some Holidays are Better Than Others

Some Holidays are Better Than Others

One of the most difficult parts of the mourning process many widowed people experience is the loss of future occasions including holidays and anniversaries. We find ourselves listening to long-time married...

Read More

Missing

Missing

It began with a need for a garment bag the kind from the cleaners with its pre-slit hole for the hanger — dry cleaners size — with child safety warning included.   I doubted I had one...

Read More

Waters of Significance

Waters of Significance

  In last Saturday’s post, I shared the continuing process of spreading my late husband’s cremains throughout multiple watery locations. Choosing these meaningful places for this journey has been...

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Halloween Changes

Halloween Changes

Today is Halloween and per usual my feelings are complicated. I have always loved Halloween, it’s right before my birthday, I love dressing up and expressing some creativity. Before Tony and I had kids,...

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Finding My Way in Year Two

Finding My Way in Year Two

Which Direction? Which Decision? Being lost is not new to me. My inner navigation plan is usually this: If you think you should turn right, it is highly likely you should turn left. Truth. I admire those...

Read More

The Unconclusive Conclusion

The Unconclusive Conclusion

While writing this blog, I was forced to revisit and relive more than just my widowed walk. I dove back in time through many memories I had forgotten or hidden. In reflecting back, how ironic was it that...

Read More

Camp Widow®

Camp Widow®

Camp Widow® is a unique and incredible experience. This program provides both practical tools and relevant resources for widowed persons rebuilding their lives in the aftermath of the death of a spouse or partner.

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Songbird

Songbird

Thats how I feel. Blah. For the past couple of months or so, my body feels blah and tired and just drained, I guess. I’ve been having trouble getting out emotions. Its weird, but I got really sad...

Read More

Early Morning Musings In Between Holidays

Early Morning Musings In Between Holidays

In 2021, seven months after Dan died, Thanksgiving arrived. In the calendar of our family traditions Christmas arrived just 32 days later. It is hard to believe that this is only the second holiday season...

Read More

Being friends because your friend is dead

Being friends because your friend is dead

I have been having a few lovely days in Paris. It might be best known for being gorgeous in the Spring, and I do like it in the Summer too, but I think it’s lovely in the Autumn as well. Plenty of trees...

Read More

Account Changes are Hard

Account Changes are Hard

Today the plan was to write about how we put things off because we know it’s going to be hard. We have enough hard so if there’s a path of less resistance, I might just follow it. And then I put writing...

Read More

Some Holidays are Better Than Others

Some Holidays are Better Than Others

One of the most difficult parts of the mourning process many widowed people experience is the loss of future occasions including holidays and anniversaries. We find ourselves listening to long-time married...

Read More

Thankful and bitter.

Thankful and bitter.

At the time of year when we traditionally pause to give thanks and reflect on the things we are grateful for, I often feel like a bitter person. I feel like everyone else is so full of gratitude, even...

Read More

“Relativiser”

“Relativiser”

Image on Unsplash by Dan DeAlmeida A long, long time ago, I had a lovely colleague, (let’s call her Jeanne), who had a similar role to me, except she was head of a different office in our consulting...

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Hug a Widow(er)

Hug a Widow(er)

This weekend I went out with some girlfriends. Our original plans were foiled when the cover band we wanted to see had to cancel their show due to illness. So, we pivoted and ended up at a country bar...

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100 years to live.

100 years to live.

This weekend I went to a family friend’s 100th birthday celebration. I think it was the first time I’d ever been to a 100th birthday party and I am so glad I was able to be there. This woman...

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For once, the tears weren’t (only) mine

For once, the tears weren’t (only) mine

Main Image by Zac Ong on Unsplash Last Sunday I completed a 20 km running event. My first event of that distance (or so) in three years. I wrote about the run’s run-up last week. I have so often been...

Read More

Anti At-Least Parenting

Anti At-Least Parenting

Parenting solo is hard. I could self-criticize plenty of things I did better when there were two of us, but I’m not here to dwell on those today. This weekend, I realized how grief has changed a specific...

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Art as a Tool for Healing

Art as a Tool for Healing

An Invitation Making art—giving form to the images that arise in our mind’s eye, our dreams, and our everyday lives—is a form of spiritual practice through which knowledge of ourselves...

Read More

Some Holidays are Better Than Others

Some Holidays are Better Than Others

One of the most difficult parts of the mourning process many widowed people experience is the loss of future occasions including holidays and anniversaries. We find ourselves listening to long-time married...

Read More

Waters of Significance

Waters of Significance

  In last Saturday’s post, I shared the continuing process of spreading my late husband’s cremains throughout multiple watery locations. Choosing these meaningful places for this journey has been...

Read More

Good Thoughts and Prayers

Good Thoughts and Prayers

I’ve found it difficult to recall the rapidly unfolding events that occurred this week one year ago.  The beautiful fall weather in the South features lack of the nearly year-round humidity. Clear Cerulean...

Read More

The Unconclusive Conclusion

The Unconclusive Conclusion

While writing this blog, I was forced to revisit and relive more than just my widowed walk. I dove back in time through many memories I had forgotten or hidden. In reflecting back, how ironic was it that...

Read More

Take Me to Church

Take Me to Church

Photos my own, taken at the Holy Trinity Anglican Church in Geneva, Switzerland Yesterday, unusually, I went to church. Twice. And I spoke. From the pulpit. Yes – really. I had been invited – some...

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Growing Through Grief with Gratitude

Growing Through Grief with Gratitude

Yesterday I felt like I hit the grief guardrail at 75 miles an hour. I knew it was coming and I knew I couldn’t turn fast enough. It was emotionally inevitable and, as much as I wanted to avoid it, I...

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My Past in My Future

My Past in My Future

I don’t know how to navigate this. I don’t know how to balance out this future placed bereavement. I have been pressuring myself to “figure it out” because I feel overwhelmed by a lot in life right...

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July 4th – Our Wedding Anniversary

July 4th – Our Wedding Anniversary

Happy Anniversary, my love. Just a couple of kids who fell in love and were married just out of high school. Who knew we’d spend 51+ years together on this earth? A spark made it possible. The spark...

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Delegating, Abdicating, Collaborating, Co-Creating?

Delegating, Abdicating, Collaborating, Co-Creating?

Photo of Julia’s Stones my own   My next ten days are packed (packed for me, anyway). Quite a bit of work in the coming days. A dinner out with new-to-me-friends of Medjool’s. Some travel...

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Arrow of Time

Arrow of Time

I was married to Lee on June 12th, which was this past Sunday.  Can I still say that June 12th is my anniversary? Or that June 12th was my anniversary? Should I say that June 12th would have been our...

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Fun in Funeral?

Fun in Funeral?

I booked the flight for Clayton’s funeral last night. It’s bothering me because a funeral isn’t supposed to be 4 years after someone passes. The celebration of life we had originally planned was...

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Humdrum and Bittersweet

Humdrum and Bittersweet

Image by Robin Lyon on Unsplash As I reflect on what to write about this weekend – which is what I do when nothing immediately springs out at me – it’s about how used I have become to having complexity...

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The Widowed Resilience Scale

The Widowed Resilience Scale

Resilience is defined as the ability to ‘bounce back’ or recover from a traumatic life event or circumstance. According to the Holmes and Rahe Social Readjustment Scale widowhood rates as one of life’s most challenging experiences. This fact has driven the desire to study resilience in widowhood and identify the ways in which resilience can be built in men and women who have experienced conjugal loss.

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Featured Author

Meet this weeks Widow's Voice author.

Emma Pearson

Emma Pearson

My life is a whirling mix of swishy strands, dark and glowing brightly, rough and silky smooth – all attempting to be seen, felt and integrated at once. Here are some of my themes.

I am British

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