Yesterday marked the one year anniversary of the passing of my nephew, Zac. It is still so surreal to acknowledge that fact. Tomorrow he would’ve celebrated his 41st birthday. He was the only son of...
Because I am in a Ph.D. program, I get this question a lot: “what are you going to do with that?” or “what are you going to do when you graduate?” And, it is a normal question,...
I am not one of those people who is tethered to a cell phone, so, while the call had come in around 1 pm., I didn’t notice the message until nearly five o’clock. As soon as I saw it was from the “310...
When my children were little, our youngest son always seemed to make a friend wherever he went. The library, in the aisles of the grocery store, or even while waiting for a prescription at the pharmacy...
Photos my own – taken at Christmas 2022, on runs with my dad Sometimes I stop short in my tracks and realise with desperate sadness that I can no longer imagine what my life would be like with Mike...
I always miss Tony, but I found myself missing him at every turn this week. Our youngest was denied a spot on the soccer team with his friends again this year. I cannot help to think if Tony were...
I began writing blog posts for Widow’s Voice on October 1st of last year, nearly a year after the passing of my husband, Rich. I actually couldn’t remember when I’d started as the Saturday Poster...
As a widower, I make the effort to cultivate my friendships and acquaintances. By doing so I hope to avoid the loneliness and disconnection that seems to be pervasive. The unfavorable outcomes of loneliness...
How do you spell Doula? Today is Tuesday, at 11:18 pm and two things are true: I am only just now writing the Wednesday post for Soaring Spirits’ Widow’s Voice Blog There is a high likelihood...
Photo my own You might well ask. Well, one answer, and the only one I have right now, is that these words, or words related to them, are on sticky notes, forming a dense, colourful and messy pile,...
I am tired. For parents of school aged children, May is a special hellscape. Spring sports are in full swing. There are last minute school projects to complete. Field day for the elementary kids. Band...
“…in some magical way, time seems to stand still for our canines, and that they will love, need, and appreciate you, fur-ever.” With the passing of my father two weeks ago, I’ve been...
When my children were little, our youngest son always seemed to make a friend wherever he went. The library, in the aisles of the grocery store, or even while waiting for a prescription at the pharmacy...
I once had a dream about hearing my heartbeat. What does it sound like? I wondered. Have I heard my heart beating today? Does it matter? I can’t say in real life that I notice my heart beating...
A person’s life emerges from their experiences. The daily ups and downs craft our being like water on rock. We emerge—for better or worse—from countless decision points and random events...
Image of Ground Zero Memorial by Oleg Illarionov on Unsplash It’s a tricky thing, supporting others who have experienced great loss. Even when you yourself have experienced great loss. Even when you...
From the Funeral A cute black dress came forward right on time. I was shopping (alone) for something to wear to the funeral for my husband of fifty-one years, nine months. I don’t enjoy shopping,...
A few years ago when I was working as a Substitute Teacher, or as some of us say, “Guest Educator” I recall a day spent as a librarian for a local elementary school. In addition to returning...
In 2021 I was gifted a book written by Laura Lynn Jackson named SIGNS: The Secret Language of the Universe. The author is a psychic medium who penned the New York Times bestseller The Light Between Us:...
It happened last night in a waking dream. The other day I was on a call about grief. In poetic prose, the speaker mentioned “hearing the beating of her heart.” She repeated that phrase at...
… a story. It was September of 2022 in Denver at the local community college. A widow, finding no support options in Mississippi, arrives via a road trip where Soaring Spirits is offering a one-day...
The Wonder of a Camp for Widowed People (the sequel) It is truly a wonder that a camp for widowed people exists! In October 2021, after I attended my first camp, I wrote about it here. This is the sequel...
Days of the “goo” were common, in the first days of grief in spring 2021. Goo refers to what happens to caterpillars after they close themselves up in a cocoon. They liquify and live in the...
When Dan was alive he used to tell me I worked too hard. The word “work” mostly referred to one or another creative project in addition to my professional job. He was right. I don’t have...
Photos my own – taken at Christmas 2022, on runs with my dad Sometimes I stop short in my tracks and realise with desperate sadness that I can no longer imagine what my life would be like with Mike...
Photo my own You might well ask. Well, one answer, and the only one I have right now, is that these words, or words related to them, are on sticky notes, forming a dense, colourful and messy pile,...
Photo my own screenshot A long, long time ago, back in the last millennium, in the time when there were dinosaurs, and during the 7 month period between 1997 and 1998 where I had a brilliantly exciting...
Over the past 6 months or so I have started to realize how much more grief work I have to do. I think I went through a period where it felt like I had done it all. Not that I was “over it”...
Photos my own, taken today It generates a sicky feeling in my tummy. A sinking of my heart. A shortening of my breath. An increase in my heart’s rate. A tensing of my belly. A weakening of my...
I’ve explained that my recent travels with Lola the pup to explore Arizona and parts southwest felt like an imperative. Simply put, I had to go. To accomplish the mission I did a lot of driving over...
Image by Josue Michel on Unsplash 18 March 2023 I have just come back from my Saturday morning swim with the Masters. When I say, “with the Masters”, I speak rather relatively. Yes, I am part of the...
Image by freestocks on Unsplash Last night I saw “The Son”, which I knew would be a hard film. (** Spoiler Alerts ** Don’t read if you want to see the film **) I knew from the trailer that it was...
Main image by Red Zeppelin on Unsplash I was invited for dinner at a friend’s house last night. Medjool was also invited and joined. We so rarely get invited out as a couple. His friends invite him out,...
Boris, I was not really sure if this would ever happen, or when it might happen, or if it was even possible to happen. But, I think I have a boyfriend. Or, would I say another boyfriend? Or an alive boyfriend?...
Image by Yoksel on Unsplash It’s Valentine’s Day already in some parts of the world. I know that the date fills a number of my fellow widbuds with Horror. Or Grief. Or Sadness. Or Resentment. There’s...
Image by Gary Bendig on Unsplash I have woken late this morning – almost 9 am – very late for me. But I have been drifting in and out of sleep for the past few hours – since before 6 am. I no longer...
Yesterday marked the one year anniversary of the passing of my nephew, Zac. It is still so surreal to acknowledge that fact. Tomorrow he would’ve celebrated his 41st birthday. He was the only son of...
Photos my own – taken at Christmas 2022, on runs with my dad Sometimes I stop short in my tracks and realise with desperate sadness that I can no longer imagine what my life would be like with Mike...
“…in some magical way, time seems to stand still for our canines, and that they will love, need, and appreciate you, fur-ever.” With the passing of my father two weeks ago, I’ve been...
A few years ago when I was working as a Substitute Teacher, or as some of us say, “Guest Educator” I recall a day spent as a librarian for a local elementary school. In addition to returning...
Friday would have been our 16th wedding anniversary and it’s the 2nd one he’s missed. The last two years I have intentionally been away from home on St. Patrick’s Day. Last year, the kids...
After Valentine’s Day Hey love, I made it through another valentines day — so well, in fact, that I forgot it was Wednesday and I’m just writing this! Writing to you is always easier...
Image by Yoksel on Unsplash It’s Valentine’s Day already in some parts of the world. I know that the date fills a number of my fellow widbuds with Horror. Or Grief. Or Sadness. Or Resentment. There’s...
Last Saturday, I was fortunate to join other local artists for an art gala in my local community. It had been many years since I’d exhibited at or had been involved in the organization of such an event...
. . it’s here again In trying to take stock of Valentine’s Day past, memory is fuzzy. Images come forward of our last V-Day together… Family room with hospital bed set up Candles Decorative...
Photo and Art by Véronique Balcerzak After Mike died, I made an effort, particularly at Christmastime, to ensure there was a gift from him, not only for each of the kids, but also for myself. The first...
In my very first post here I said I’ve never been a New Year resolution kind of gal. I still maintain that I am not. For me, the resolutions are too specific and confined that make me feel destined to...
After the success of surprising my kids last year with a Christmas trip to Orlando, I decided to try it again this year. On Christmas morning, they woke up to a scavenger hunt that revealed we were going...
Because I am in a Ph.D. program, I get this question a lot: “what are you going to do with that?” or “what are you going to do when you graduate?” And, it is a normal question,...
I am not one of those people who is tethered to a cell phone, so, while the call had come in around 1 pm., I didn’t notice the message until nearly five o’clock. As soon as I saw it was from the “310...
Photos my own – taken at Christmas 2022, on runs with my dad Sometimes I stop short in my tracks and realise with desperate sadness that I can no longer imagine what my life would be like with Mike...
I always miss Tony, but I found myself missing him at every turn this week. Our youngest was denied a spot on the soccer team with his friends again this year. I cannot help to think if Tony were...
I began writing blog posts for Widow’s Voice on October 1st of last year, nearly a year after the passing of my husband, Rich. I actually couldn’t remember when I’d started as the Saturday Poster...
Photo my own You might well ask. Well, one answer, and the only one I have right now, is that these words, or words related to them, are on sticky notes, forming a dense, colourful and messy pile,...
I am tired. For parents of school aged children, May is a special hellscape. Spring sports are in full swing. There are last minute school projects to complete. Field day for the elementary kids. Band...
“…in some magical way, time seems to stand still for our canines, and that they will love, need, and appreciate you, fur-ever.” With the passing of my father two weeks ago, I’ve been...
After Boris died, I felt this need to in some ways carry on who he was, including his interests and passions. I knew that his love for science wouldn’t be one I could try to tackle, and I tried to...
Music, yes – of course music does it. Lyrics or no lyrics – same same. Places too. And faces – duh. All of those are triggers – triggers for a fast tumble down a Grief-soaked spiral. But the evening...
I went to a funeral this morning. That right there could be the whole post, right? Two years later and it’s still hard to sit through one without transporting myself back in time. The funeral was for...
Last Saturday, at 2:45am I received a phone call. I could tell by the sender that it brought the inevitable news that my father had passed. My dad had been under hospice care for approximately three...
Yesterday, April 28th marked the anniversary of my engagement to my late husband, Rich, in 1996, and also the 18 month milestone of my Widowhood Journey. Both milestones represent life-changing occasions...
Last week was a heavy week for me. Thursday marked two years since Tony died by suicide, leaving behind unanswered questions and heartache. These are the waves of grief we see coming and we can almost...
Photo by P – family friend – photo of our two girls, which P keeps stuck behind a piece of art from Julia It was Julia’s 19th birthday a couple of weeks ago. On 30th March. Still her birthday...
Photos my own, taken today It generates a sicky feeling in my tummy. A sinking of my heart. A shortening of my breath. An increase in my heart’s rate. A tensing of my belly. A weakening of my...
Today makes 5 years. I can’t wrap my head around it. It feels so big and significant. I know it is just another anniversary year, but 5 feels somehow bigger–like a milestone. In a way, I feel like...
This morning I awoke at exactly 4h00. It’s not entirely uncommon that I am awake around that time. But to awaken at exactly 4h00. On 30th March. The body remembers. Nineteen years ago,...
Friday would have been our 16th wedding anniversary and it’s the 2nd one he’s missed. The last two years I have intentionally been away from home on St. Patrick’s Day. Last year, the kids...
This post marks my one-year anniversary as a writer for the Widow’s Voice. 52 weeks of sharing my journey with fellow widowed people and our support networks that follow this blog. There are weeks I...
February was a busy time on several fronts. The local Art Gala that had taken months of committee work and preparation for me as an organizer and participating artist was a great success. The hard work,...
Today my late husband Rich will celebrate a birthday in the Afterlife. I don’t know how birthday anniversaries are celebrated in that world, but down here I will be celebrating the occasion in a unique...
One of the biggest challenges of adjusting to life as a widow is trying to hold on to the memory of the life you had as part of a long-time couple while trying to remember the “Me” before “We”...
“The presence and companionship of dogs, the observation of their playful tactics has helped patients on their way back to normal thinking and living.” Captain Wm. Lewis Judy,Founder of National...
