Tuesday 5.25.26 🗓️ I went on my first date since my husband died. It came with all of it. All the feelings. I was really excited and proud of myself for choosing to do it and heartbroken all over...
You know I’ve been through all of this before … nearly 16 years ago. The years of heavy caregiving leading to the loss of my love, the emotions, the disappointments, the sadness, the loneliness,...
Last week I got to take an all-day class on hand lettering. The session is meant as a way to get in touch with your creative side. I knew when I saw the class description it was one I wanted to take. During...
11.5 years after Lynn passed, I (finally) switched my home’s water bill from her name to my name. Normal?! Ehhh, I thought it was pretty nuts that it took me this long. This un-fun task was never...
I know it’s a good “problem” to have, but maintaining three homes and four dogs can put a nice hurtin’ on the balances of ‘ye old credit cards. When I got a nice offer from a credit card...
Ever heard the term, “stuck in the doldrums”? The doldrums is a nautical term for the equatorial region of the Earth where the prevailing trade winds converge, often resulting in calms, sudden...
I came across an interesting article about solo travelers who are in a couple’s relationship. It played off those for whom such travel represents mind-expanding liberation against others who see it...
I’m a Bad🤨$$, you’re a Bad🤨$$, we are ALL Bad🤨$$es!!! The past few weeks have left me exhausted and depleted, once again. Yes, there has been some joy and fun, but between planning my daughter’s...
“Separation is an illusion. Though your loved ones are not physically with you, they are with you spiritually and energetically. They live in you and through you. They are ever with you, as close as...
Memorial Day marks the official start of summer here. The kids had their last day of school last week. I now have a senior, a freshman, and a seventh grader. Watching the kids grow is a milestone against...
Love songs hit different now, for many reasons. Lately, I have been touched by what would be categorized as “love songs,” but I take them in as me talking to myself… Two songs have really...
Weekends are often difficult and long for widowed people, and holiday weekends are especially challenging. So many of us have distant, and not so distant, memories of holidays gone by. For me, the Memorial...
You know I’ve been through all of this before … nearly 16 years ago. The years of heavy caregiving leading to the loss of my love, the emotions, the disappointments, the sadness, the loneliness,...
“Separation is an illusion. Though your loved ones are not physically with you, they are with you spiritually and energetically. They live in you and through you. They are ever with you, as close as...
To honor the strength it takes to face what we did not choose—and to recognize the quiet courage within ourselves and others that rises up to meet it. Oprah Daily Intention, April 4, 2026 ...
So they’re coming this afternoon … I’ve boxed up all of the things for them to take away. Lots of photos that I know they want and a lot of other things I hope they will want. I read a few more...
… and I’ve sure been doing a lot of ‘feeling’ lately. Feeling Jim’s absence here in our home as the days, weeks, months pass. Feeling my age … in my brain and in my body. I just don’t...
I just found this newspaper cartoon clipping in Jim’s bedside drawer. It was folded up in a basket of miscellaneous keys, coins and receipts so I hadn’t yet taken the time to sort through all of it...
I went to the hockey game by myself last night. Round 1, Game 1 of the Stanley Cup Playoffs for my Vegas Golden Knights. Sold my extra ticket online to a stranger (who didn’t show up for the game)...
I thought I’d have a bit more time with him … but they want his ashes shipped now. So I got those required boxes from the Post Office and I carefully wrapped up both Jim and Estelle (his first...
It was a busy week (for me) but I survived it. Cocooning still feels more comfortable and safe, but I know it’s important to get back out there socially so I’m trying. Thursday I enjoyed catching up...
Even though it’s a bit cloudy, it’s a pretty lovely day here in the desert. My roses are budding and blooming, leaves have returned to the trees, there’s a soft breeze, 83 degrees. Spring...
I’m now at Day 10 of this respiratory thing going around, so I’ve been isolating … which should have made it easier for me to accomplish all of the things on my list … but my energy level is at...
Well, I finally sold the travel trailer. It needed to go … because I won’t be taking it out on the road AND because I need to get it out of the way so Jim’s son can retrieve the cargo trailer that...
Over the last few years, I’ve dated on and off. I’ve primarily used dating apps because I don’t find myself ‘in the wild’ where there are other single people. Dating as a widow, after a marriage...
This past week had its ups and downs. My home in Georgia that is currently on the market received an offer, but as so often happens in this process, things didn’t work out. I recall when Rich and...
All good things come to an end. Today, I depart Tucson for home. It is early morning and still dark. Even as Lola the pup snoozes peacefully, I will need the next several hours to prepare for our immediate...
Robyn arrived in Tucson late last Thursday. I double-parked my car and sat listening to Albert King and his band playing the blues. Robyn’s flight was over one hour late. The airport felt deserted, but...
Robyn arrives in Tucson late tonight. In advance of her arrival, I just had my place professionally cleaned, but it didn’t do much good with Lola the pup close at hand. I will have to clean up...
While watching tv I saw an ad for a sitcom about marriage. They were making a joke about how long after death they had to wait to find a new partner. He told her she had to wait half the time they were...
Yesterday, I facilitated a parol making workshop for a large group of Filipinos, some I have known since I was a child. Parols are a traditional, Philippine lantern displayed during the holiday season,...
I remember clearly the first time I met Lynn’s parents and family… the anxiety, apprehension, excitements, all the things. Also, it was the first time we traveled on a plane together (from California...
I had brunch in the Castro in San Francisco today with two close widow friends, one of their partners, and my (alive) partner. I met my two widow friends thru Soaring Spirits’ LGBTQI+ Regional Group,...
June was Pride Month AND Filipino Heritage Month, and is always my busiest month as a result. I am greatly involved in organizing many of the activities, as well as participating in those I have no responsibility...
After one of Lynn’s Celebrations of Life, her father, Gus, pulled me aside to talk alone. He told me that he knew how much Lynn and I loved each other, and that he wanted me to find a new love one day...
Robyn and I talk almost every morning. It’s a kind of well-being check-in for us, I think. I would get concerned if I couldn’t reach her (without an excused absence). She feels the same. In any case,...
Weekends are often difficult and long for widowed people, and holiday weekends are especially challenging. So many of us have distant, and not so distant, memories of holidays gone by. For me, the Memorial...
Another Mother’s Day has come and gone; six to be exact since Tony died. It is still weird to wake up on a day like Mother’s Day without him. I always take myself back in time to the last one he was...
Happy Dog Mom’s Day (always the Saturday before the human version) and Mother’s Day Weekend. I don’t have any human kids of my own, but I do have four sweet K-9 Kiddos for which I’m grateful...
Nothing, except everything. Yesterday, May 5th, the grief hit me out of nowhere, yet not entirely unexpectedly. We loved turning nothing into something, any excuse into a celebration. Take...
Tomorrow is Easter Sunday, a holiday that has always been one of my favorites. It’s a time of renewal and hopeful warmer days. This past week we celebrated the first anniversary of acquiring Winnie,...
One of the things that makes our people “our people,” is the million things we know about them that few / no one knew, and – as importantly, the million things they knew about us that no one...
I went to the movies this afternoon and greeted my friend with, “Happy New Year!” She replied, “And Happy Mardi Gras and Ramadan!” Three big celebrations fall on the same day this...
I never asked, but I think the Facebook post I made on my first widowed Valentine’s Day was the catalyst that led me to writing this blog. Tony died in April of 2021, and I attended my first Camp Widow...
Robyn arrives in Tucson late tonight. In advance of her arrival, I just had my place professionally cleaned, but it didn’t do much good with Lola the pup close at hand. I will have to clean up...
V Very proud that you keep putting one foot in front of the other since your person left. A And how, when you fall down, you continue to get up and try again. L Love how bravery shows up for you at unexpected...
The New Year has started out eventful. As the days grow slightly longer, they seem to be less heavy and lighter on all levels. I, too, feel the collective relief that those widowed often feel when the...
Well, actually the first day of 2026 found me waking up at 6am in my brother’s home in Tennessee. So I wasn’t alone at the very start of this new year – instead I was ending a lovely time with...
Tuesday 5.25.26 🗓️ I went on my first date since my husband died. It came with all of it. All the feelings. I was really excited and proud of myself for choosing to do it and heartbroken all over...
You know I’ve been through all of this before … nearly 16 years ago. The years of heavy caregiving leading to the loss of my love, the emotions, the disappointments, the sadness, the loneliness,...
Last week I got to take an all-day class on hand lettering. The session is meant as a way to get in touch with your creative side. I knew when I saw the class description it was one I wanted to take. During...
I know it’s a good “problem” to have, but maintaining three homes and four dogs can put a nice hurtin’ on the balances of ‘ye old credit cards. When I got a nice offer from a credit card...
I’m a Bad🤨$$, you’re a Bad🤨$$, we are ALL Bad🤨$$es!!! The past few weeks have left me exhausted and depleted, once again. Yes, there has been some joy and fun, but between planning my daughter’s...
“Separation is an illusion. Though your loved ones are not physically with you, they are with you spiritually and energetically. They live in you and through you. They are ever with you, as close as...
Memorial Day marks the official start of summer here. The kids had their last day of school last week. I now have a senior, a freshman, and a seventh grader. Watching the kids grow is a milestone against...
Weekends are often difficult and long for widowed people, and holiday weekends are especially challenging. So many of us have distant, and not so distant, memories of holidays gone by. For me, the Memorial...
I am not going to lie, this one is a tough one for me to write, like I really had to think about it long and hard. Before the massive earthquake that decimated my life, AKA the death of my husband, I was...
To honor the strength it takes to face what we did not choose—and to recognize the quiet courage within ourselves and others that rises up to meet it. Oprah Daily Intention, April 4, 2026 ...
Over the last few years, I’ve dated on and off. I’ve primarily used dating apps because I don’t find myself ‘in the wild’ where there are other single people. Dating as a widow, after a marriage...
…In a Far, Far Away Kingdom 👸🏻 In the kingdom of Washington, DC, there lived a beautiful, brave, brave princess. She had just entered teenagehood, and she lived with her loving parents, the...
May 3rd marked what would have been Mario’s 53rd birthday. So it was one of those anniversaries. In life, Mario never made a big deal out of his birthdays. Like I’ve mentioned before, I think...
It was an eventful week filled with emotional milestones. I spent most of the week up in Georgia again to ready my home for a new tenant. As I’ve shared previously, I put my house up for sale two months...
A week ago, I hosted a party called DeathFest V (5) to honor the life Tony lived and the person he was. Tony loved revelry with all the people he loved. Even though the party had a dark name, gathering...
Today, April 20th, is the fifth anniversary of Tony’s death. Yesterday I thew a huge party in his honor. (More on that next week.) As a result, my heart is both empty and overflowing with love. I had...
Isn’t it weird to look back on the week before their passing? Depending on the circumstances of their death, that week has a kaleidoscope of events across our widowhoods. For us, life was thrumming along...
This week we turn the calendar to April. Once again, I will find myself in the month that Tony passed. What feels crazy to me is that this year will be the 5th anniversary of his death. Five years is bananas...
St. Patrick’s Day was/is Tony and my wedding anniversary. This year, we should have been celebrating our 19th. Instead, we are always stuck at 14. Walking through the wedding anniversary grief always...
What do I need in this moment? I take a breath I breathe in peace I breathe in silence I breathe in words, story, and music https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lCpXMy5GalI&list=RDlCpXMy5GalI&start_radio=1...
For no particular reason, I looked up Lynn and my conversation in my Messenger app. Honestly, I did not think we had ever messaged on Messenger, but indeed we had! Her first message to me was on August...
While watching tv I saw an ad for a sitcom about marriage. They were making a joke about how long after death they had to wait to find a new partner. He told her she had to wait half the time they were...
On Tuesday, I awoke around 1:00am. Turning on my laptop, I knew what I was looking for; the Facebook Post I’d written on that day four years earlier sharing the sad and unwanted news with so many that...
This weekend marks what would’ve been my 29th Wedding Anniversary, not the 30th that I mentioned in my last post. It gave me a little laugh when I realized my widowed brain error. 29th, or 30th, no matter,...
