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Floating On

Floating On

On Thursday, my family and I paid a loving tribute to my mother when her ashes were interred with my father’s at Saratoga National Cemetery in New York. One year earlier to the day, my father’s Military...

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Back to Nature

Back to Nature

There has always been a big nature element in my life. Where I grew was not too far from San Diego, but in the 70,s it might as well have been the Outback because the average San Diegan considered it very...

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Reflections on Being Married

Reflections on Being Married

Despite an undeserved hard guy reputation in some quarters, the truth is I am a sensitive, occasionally sentimental, fellow at heart. However, I’m not feeling particularly sentimental at the moment...

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Anatomy of a Problem.

Anatomy of a Problem.

I am raccoon-less, feeling grateful, and wondering about problems and solutions. Picture this. The Indian Ocean is splashing fiercely at the edge of a home during a storm. It quickly  fills the bottom...

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Stuff, Stuff and More Stuff

Stuff, Stuff and More Stuff

When Erik passed the twins and I packed our entire house into a storage unit and moved. We only took with us what fit into the already full trucks of our two cars; one carry-on luggage that was stuffed...

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Grief Is

Grief Is

Emily is on vacation this week enjoying some time with family. I love this post from her titled Grief Is, a poem Emily wrote near the first anniversary of Tony’s death. ~ Mary Moore Hughes Grief...

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Writing On

Writing On

  This past week my plans took me to another rural community about an hour from here. There, I happened to have a conversation with a young man who was just trying to get by. As he spoke I sat in...

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Only Happy When It Rains

Only Happy When It Rains

Mario wasn’t one of those guys who carried on and complained or wilted like a flower when he was sick or had some physical pain. His tolerance was high, bolstered by a masochistic tendency. In a way,...

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Nowadays, I Feel Ambivalent About the Beautiful Month of June

Nowadays, I Feel Ambivalent About the Beautiful Month of June

According to one poll of adult Americans (https://today..ougov.com/society/articles/45312-americans-favorite-and-least-favorite-months-year), thirty-nine percent love the month of June and an additional...

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Watching and Waiting

Watching and Waiting

The Raccoon Saga Continues I think they’re gone.   As I examine the clues of how they arrived, it seems they are gone. The urgency I felt (fear?) and signs of their presence brought a low level...

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Approach of Father’s Day

Approach of Father’s Day

As we enter June, my mind starts to think about all things surrounding Father’s Day. It will be our third Father’s Day without Erik. Each year seems to get harder as the twins get older. They have...

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My LA Ambush

My LA Ambush

A group of widows is called an Ambush. I learned that at one of the three Camp Widow events I’ve attended. Greater than that fun fact, are the friendships I’ve built from those Camps. My home base...

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Newly Widowed

A Personal Eclipse

A Personal Eclipse

On April 4th, I ordered my eclipse glasses in preparation for the 2024 Solar Eclipse. Although I knew that the best places to observe were Texas, Mexico, and Canada, I would be settling for my patio in...

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Comparing Grief Confessions

Comparing Grief Confessions

[today’s view in contrast to 166+ days out . . .]   Hi Babe, It’s been 166 days, 22 hours, 32 minutes and 16 seconds since you left.   [it is now 1,126 days since he left . . .]  ...

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The Many Masks of Grief

The Many Masks of Grief

. . my story   What am I feeling? Bad. I feel bad. Am I experiencing this feeling from a lack of sleep? Have I eaten?   I’m feeling depressed. Is this feeling related to another step...

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Facing Ambush

Facing Ambush

Part of the Work of Grief Sometimes your feelings are right. You need to take a chill pill, slow down, hang out with friends, and cry your heart out. Other times, they need to be corrected. What you need...

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In the Shadow of the Anniversary

In the Shadow of the Anniversary

Year Three My imagination moves toward the clouds when I think of Dan. In the early days, I explored the clouds with curiosity and searched for him there. This particular cloud image is meant to show me...

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Traveling in the Land of Grief

Traveling in the Land of Grief

Buried under too many things to mention, I reached out to Mary and asked her to use this blog from my earliest days of grief as a fill-in for Wednesday, April 10th. As I move toward the 3-Year Anniversary...

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Widowed Movies

Widowed Movies

Fact: I am a hopeless cinephile. I was reminded of my love of film while watching a documentary on YouTube named “Sr.” The film features the life of Robert Downey, Sr., created and filmed by...

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The Surreal Experience of Time and Loss

The Surreal Experience of Time and Loss

“Today, March 26, 2024, the moon is 16 days old and is entering the waning gibbous phase of its lunar cycle. It is 98% illuminated.” — Space.com This morning I stepped out the back door...

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The Art of Camp Widow

The Art of Camp Widow

I choose art media like I choose sandwiches. I go with my favorite. The sure thing. What I love the most — Collage. Creating through collage requires bringing many things together into a whole. Like...

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Facing Fear

Facing Fear

A Conversation   I see you, fear. I see you once again and say ‘hey’ formidable crafty opposer.   Mess-making friend who turns the neatly arranged inner furniture up-side-down and...

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Sleep Remedy

Sleep Remedy

Up at night?   What to do? Stare at the ceiling? Worry? Go online? Or try something new . . .   A stream of consciousness writing exercise called Writing Practice.   Created by a writing...

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What is Grief?

What is Grief?

One Person’s Take GRIEF I had my own notion of grief. I thought it was a sad time that followed the death of someone you love. And you had to push through it to get to the other side. But I’m...

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Soaring Spirits Interational

Soaring Spirits Interational

Soaring Spirits builds community. We create, and maintain, innovative peer-based grief support programs for widowed men and women that serve a worldwide population. Based on the powerful connections created by shared experience, we endeavor to ensure that no one need grieve alone.

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Every Picture Tells a Story

Every Picture Tells a Story

After Lee died, I was left with the photographs and paintings to lift me if I needed to see her.  To this day, for example, I will take a moment to look at her images when I go down to the basement kitchen...

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The Keys To Happiness

The Keys To Happiness

When my late husband, Rich, learned that I’d never been to the Florida Keys he suggested that we honeymoon there. We were married in New Jersey in late September and I made my first visit to this beautiful...

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Full Circle

Full Circle

Last Wednesday, when I told Robyn that I might make it home in just three days, instead of the usual four or five, I knew accomplishing the feat meant extending each day’s drive by several additional...

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Welcome, Jackson!

Welcome, Jackson!

On Valentine’s Day, a sweet black and white border collie-mix puppy found a new home! Lot’s of love…but not much sleep as to which any puppy raiser can attest. Some asked when they heard...

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Valentine Hugs and Kisses

Valentine Hugs and Kisses

Robyn arrived on Super Bowl Sunday, fresh off visiting her son, her brother, and one of the grandkids in southern California.  Robyn was greeted by a small earthquake upon her arrival there, but I would...

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Enter the Wood Dragon!

Enter the Wood Dragon!

Happy Lunar New Year. This weekend, as millions mingle in Las Vegas for the Super Bowl, another event will be celebrated across the world on an even larger platform! At this moment, millions of people...

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Feeling Dread

Feeling Dread

Lee’s brother and her mom used to regale me with stories of her harrowing first year of life, when, for a time it appears, she hovered above the razor’s edge between life and death.  Happily, for...

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Emergency Room

Emergency Room

This past weekend Robyn, Lola the pup, and I were in the Cleveland area to see our friends Bob and Linda. Early Saturday afternoon, while Lola stayed home to relax, we humans left to eat at a cozy restaurant/gift...

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Green Pastures

Green Pastures

It had rained non-stop from Illinois and Indiana through Ohio and Kentucky, into parts of Tennessee, crisscrossing the Great Smokey Mountains.  A challenging stretch of road for two flatlanders but we...

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Will Weddings Always Be Hard

Will Weddings Always Be Hard

A fellow widow asked if weddings would always be hard for us to go to and I found myself looking back to the first wedding I attended after Tony died. It was an out-of-town wedding that took place 6 weeks...

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Three Years’ Ago This Week

Three Years’ Ago This Week

Lee died three years’ ago this week — on July 2 to be precise. This year the date fell on a Sunday. This year, when I awoke, Robyn was with me. I felt no ambivalence about this circumstance...

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The trickiness of “How Are You?”

The trickiness of “How Are You?”

Image by Markus Spiske on Unsplash Yesterday, a fellow widbud, a woman I have never met but who someone connected with me, and who lost her husband just before Christmas 2022 after a very short illness,...

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Floating On

Floating On

On Thursday, my family and I paid a loving tribute to my mother when her ashes were interred with my father’s at Saratoga National Cemetery in New York. One year earlier to the day, my father’s Military...

Read More

Approach of Father’s Day

Approach of Father’s Day

As we enter June, my mind starts to think about all things surrounding Father’s Day. It will be our third Father’s Day without Erik. Each year seems to get harder as the twins get older. They have...

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Memorial Day Weekend: A Time For Reflection

Memorial Day Weekend: A Time For Reflection

The Memorial Day Weekend sort of crept up on me this year. Back in my former locale at the Jersey Shore, this weekend ushers in the official start of a short, yet very active, summer season of beaching,...

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The Little Things

The Little Things

A repost! I miss the little things. The things not many people talk about in loss. I don’t just miss my person on holidays, anniversaries, or milestones, but all those in between days. All the in-between...

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When it Rains it Pours

When it Rains it Pours

What a week! Sometimes, life just piles it on, doesn’t it? Last week, was spring break so the kids were home all week. I didn’t take any time off work, so we did our best to balance it all. They ran...

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What happens when widowed people gather to find hope?

What happens when widowed people gather to find hope?

COMMUNITY! Good things emerge from great need. The first of its kind, Camp Widow is an example of a good thing born out of great need when a 36-year-old suddenly-widowed woman found herself in need of...

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The Little Things

The Little Things

I miss the little things. The things not many people talk about in loss. I don’t just miss my person on holidays, anniversaries, or milestones, but all those in between days. All the in-between minutes...

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(Leaving You) On The Hook

(Leaving You) On The Hook

Do you ever have such a busy week that you forget what day it is? This is me. This week. Forgetting what day it is (Blog Day) and scrambling to say something meaningful about a concept that is a treasure...

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Another New Year

Another New Year

This past weekend our family celebrated Lunar New Year, as we do every year, but our second without Erik. For the first time since his passing, I wasn’t truly dreading a holiday. It was one of Erik’s...

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Enter the Wood Dragon!

Enter the Wood Dragon!

Happy Lunar New Year. This weekend, as millions mingle in Las Vegas for the Super Bowl, another event will be celebrated across the world on an even larger platform! At this moment, millions of people...

Read More

Midnight Kisses

Midnight Kisses

Last week the kids and I were on our annual holiday vacation. Since Tony’s death, I have taken the kids to Disney World, Beaches Jamaica, and now Xcaret Mexico over the holiday break. There are a variety...

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As I Enter Twenty Twenty-Four

As I Enter Twenty Twenty-Four

A Brief List of Happenings This year I eschewed a few traditions. “No,” I told my children, “I am not depressed; not avoiding you; not in a funk. Just changing it up for New Year’s...

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Camp Widow®

Camp Widow®

Camp Widow® is a unique and incredible experience. This program provides both practical tools and relevant resources for widowed persons rebuilding their lives in the aftermath of the death of a spouse or partner.

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Floating On

Floating On

On Thursday, my family and I paid a loving tribute to my mother when her ashes were interred with my father’s at Saratoga National Cemetery in New York. One year earlier to the day, my father’s Military...

Read More

Anatomy of a Problem.

Anatomy of a Problem.

I am raccoon-less, feeling grateful, and wondering about problems and solutions. Picture this. The Indian Ocean is splashing fiercely at the edge of a home during a storm. It quickly  fills the bottom...

Read More

Stuff, Stuff and More Stuff

Stuff, Stuff and More Stuff

When Erik passed the twins and I packed our entire house into a storage unit and moved. We only took with us what fit into the already full trucks of our two cars; one carry-on luggage that was stuffed...

Read More

Only Happy When It Rains

Only Happy When It Rains

Mario wasn’t one of those guys who carried on and complained or wilted like a flower when he was sick or had some physical pain. His tolerance was high, bolstered by a masochistic tendency. In a way,...

Read More

Watching and Waiting

Watching and Waiting

The Raccoon Saga Continues I think they’re gone.   As I examine the clues of how they arrived, it seems they are gone. The urgency I felt (fear?) and signs of their presence brought a low level...

Read More

Approach of Father’s Day

Approach of Father’s Day

As we enter June, my mind starts to think about all things surrounding Father’s Day. It will be our third Father’s Day without Erik. Each year seems to get harder as the twins get older. They have...

Read More

My LA Ambush

My LA Ambush

A group of widows is called an Ambush. I learned that at one of the three Camp Widow events I’ve attended. Greater than that fun fact, are the friendships I’ve built from those Camps. My home base...

Read More

Flow Like Water

Flow Like Water

Sometimes I do plan a topic that I want to write about in this weekly post and sometimes I just let my brain talk through my hands across the keyboard. This is one of the later types of posts. Everybody...

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The Dance of Life in the Garden

The Dance of Life in the Garden

  . . . and sometimes, under the house. It is in the garden that life and death arrive on the regular. I witness living and dying primarily in the plants, grasses and weeds that come and go. I’m...

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How Are You Doing?

How Are You Doing?

This past weekend someone had asked me how I was doing. This question is one of those common questions you get in conversations and is usually followed by just a casual response of either ‘I’m good’...

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Brewing Intuition

Brewing Intuition

Last Sunday I woke up in California ready to head home after spending an incredible weekend with a group of widow friends. Being a travel day, the first thing I did was check my flights. Both flights were...

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Being an Introvert

Being an Introvert

I missed yet another virtual Widow’s Voice meetup tonight (I’ve been to ONE), not because I don’t want to hang out with those folks, but because I’ve done too much “people-ing”...

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Grief Is

Grief Is

Emily is on vacation this week enjoying some time with family. I love this post from her titled Grief Is, a poem Emily wrote near the first anniversary of Tony’s death. ~ Mary Moore Hughes Grief...

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Sea of Serendipity

Sea of Serendipity

Whew! It has been a hectic few weeks. I feel like I’m always in survival go-go-go mode where I’m just going through the motions of doing things without really being fully present in what I’m doing...

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Backyard Campout

Backyard Campout

Saturday, I hosted a BBQ backyard campout with my neighborhood crew for the third anniversary of Tony’s death. We gathered in the afternoon and six family’s setup tents to spend the night. Eighteen...

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No Time

No Time

As I started to get ready for bed tonight, I realized it was Monday and I haven’t yet written anything. Our days feel so packed right now I don’t find myself looking too far forward. Which is probably...

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Preparing for the Deathiversary

Preparing for the Deathiversary

The kids and I made a plan for what to do on the upcoming third anniversary of Tony’s death. One of the boys and I were by ourselves driving recently when he asked me about camping.  If we were ever...

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April Again

April Again

Today marks the beginning of another April. This is THE month for me, the one we lost Tony. Last week I was chatting with a friend, and she asked me how I was feeling with the anniversary coming up soon...

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Dear Hubby

Dear Hubby

St. Patrick’s Day 2024 marked two years since Erik took his last breath. This year seemed to be more challenging in different ways than I remembered year one being. It seemed to hit harder and more vivid...

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When it Rains it Pours

When it Rains it Pours

What a week! Sometimes, life just piles it on, doesn’t it? Last week, was spring break so the kids were home all week. I didn’t take any time off work, so we did our best to balance it all. They ran...

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Impending Milestone

Impending Milestone

Next Sunday is our wedding anniversary. Because it’s on St. Patrick’s Day, people tend to remember the date. Last night, my friends were asking how I wanted to spend that day and offered companionship...

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The Dark Day

The Dark Day

As we have now entered the dark month I find myself significantly more anxious during my days, more than I have been for a while. I feel like I have been trying so hard to not live in the days of 2022...

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The Mosson Love Story

The Mosson Love Story

A repost! As my birthday approaches next week so does the day that I met Erik. I met him the day after my 21st birthday. I always told him getting to meet him was my late, but amazing life-changing birthday...

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Marking Time

Marking Time

Through Numbers This is my 85th blog post as a widow. By 71 years + 230 days, time marked 32 years since Dan’s first heart attack at age 39. When he died, we had been married for 18,913 days (50...

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The Widowed Resilience Scale

The Widowed Resilience Scale

Resilience is defined as the ability to ‘bounce back’ or recover from a traumatic life event or circumstance. According to the Holmes and Rahe Social Readjustment Scale widowhood rates as one of life’s most challenging experiences. This fact has driven the desire to study resilience in widowhood and identify the ways in which resilience can be built in men and women who have experienced conjugal loss.

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Featured Author

Meet this weeks Widow's Voice author.

Emma Pearson

Emma Pearson

My life is a whirling mix of swishy strands, dark and glowing brightly, rough and silky smooth – all attempting to be seen, felt and integrated at once. Here are some of my themes.

I am British

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