In processing grief, I often hear people use the term, “Moving On”. But, most who are recovering from the trauma of losing a loved one prefer “Moving Forward”. Some might ask, “What’s the difference?”...
Over the last couple months, I’ve taken the tiny teardrop trailer out a few times, but I’ve also spent a lot of time making it my own by decorating it. I’ve always had a love of interior...
In Life and In Widow-Dog Training PART three Last night, I took this picture of Indy as she watched over her territory. This morning, she moved into action mode over the dangerous action of me looking...
I found myself lying wide awake at 10:49 the Monday night before my birthday wishing that midnight just wouldn’t come. And that if it did, that my birthday wish would come true. That when that clock...
HI Friends. I feel like a broken record, but once again my apologies for not posting in here the last couple weeks. I really don’t completely forget on purpose. Its just that the last few weeks have...
This Saturday Morning marks the beginning of the Labor Day Weekend which for many brings the unofficial end to Summer 2024 and the official beginning of Local Summer. In places like the Jersey Shore, where...
I’m one of the widowed people who have no children and my guess is that it’s a very different experience than those of you who lost your spouse but have kids. Even when I was a child myself, I never...
As I mentioned last week I have been reviewing estate documents. I’ve been thinking about what I want to do, and how to convey my testamentary wishes to my lawyer. I have some technical questions for...
PART two We all come from somewhere, right? When I got an adorable puppy, a Labrador Dog, apparently I also got a Labrador Wolf. The tiny face looking up at me with innocent eyes evolved from a...
A repost! Join me next week to read about this year’s birthday. August has always been such a busy month in our lives. Our entire family’s birthdays. Summer plans, parties, trips…memories. This...
It’s been over a month since I was in San Diego for Camp Widow. Somehow in the whirlwind of the last five weeks I haven’t written much about that experience. This was my fourth camp, but it had a different...
Yesterday, August 23rd, the Awareness Observation of International Blind Dog Day took place, a day to recognize the resilience, adaptability, and courage of blind dogs and to promote empathy and understanding...
In Life and In Widow-Dog Training PART three Last night, I took this picture of Indy as she watched over her territory. This morning, she moved into action mode over the dangerous action of me looking...
PART two We all come from somewhere, right? When I got an adorable puppy, a Labrador Dog, apparently I also got a Labrador Wolf. The tiny face looking up at me with innocent eyes evolved from a...
One Widow and Her Lab PART One Background noise at my house includes scratching, licking, and the occasional squeak of a dog toy. A quiet warning growl followed by an alarmed leap of dog-body in my peripheral...
Just ask Alexander! A boy named Alexander had a lot to say about this: I went to sleep with gum in my mouth and now there’s gum in my hair and when I got out of bed this morning, I tripped on the skateboard...
We’re Hitting the Road! If you are brand new here you might be asking What is Camp Widow? “Camp Widow blends elements of three event styles: a conference format, an inspiring retreat,...
How Grief Impacts Feelings At age 26, I received a helpful definition for feelings. You may be thinking that could be a bit late in life to receive information about something that impacts life on a daily...
On July 20th, I walked out of Michele Neff Hernandez’s keynote address at Camp Widow in San Diego to a text message indicating bad news back home. Thankfully, the text indicated my kids were okay. As...
in San Diego once again! The first Camp Widow showed up as “The First Annual National Conference on Widowhood.” Take a moment and consider that we’re celebrating the 16th year...
and it is HOT in Riverside, California! Awakening to climbing temperatures that announce at 6:00 am another hot day on the way. I rise to turn on the fans. Oddly the...
On April 4th, I ordered my eclipse glasses in preparation for the 2024 Solar Eclipse. Although I knew that the best places to observe were Texas, Mexico, and Canada, I would be settling for my patio in...
[today’s view in contrast to 166+ days out . . .] Hi Babe, It’s been 166 days, 22 hours, 32 minutes and 16 seconds since you left. [it is now 1,126 days since he left . . .] ...
. . my story What am I feeling? Bad. I feel bad. Am I experiencing this feeling from a lack of sleep? Have I eaten? I’m feeling depressed. Is this feeling related to another step...
HI Friends. I feel like a broken record, but once again my apologies for not posting in here the last couple weeks. I really don’t completely forget on purpose. Its just that the last few weeks have...
Robyn was born in the 20th Century, the youngest of three children, and not too long before I arrived. She grew up in the big city, attended its public schools, and has a high school diploma to prove it...
I often notice couples’ togetherness as I travel the spaces of my life as a single person. That’s likely because I am not wholly comfortable in my singlehood. I am independent and capable of being...
After Lee died, I was left with the photographs and paintings to lift me if I needed to see her. To this day, for example, I will take a moment to look at her images when I go down to the basement kitchen...
When my late husband, Rich, learned that I’d never been to the Florida Keys he suggested that we honeymoon there. We were married in New Jersey in late September and I made my first visit to this beautiful...
Last Wednesday, when I told Robyn that I might make it home in just three days, instead of the usual four or five, I knew accomplishing the feat meant extending each day’s drive by several additional...
On Valentine’s Day, a sweet black and white border collie-mix puppy found a new home! Lot’s of love…but not much sleep as to which any puppy raiser can attest. Some asked when they heard...
Robyn arrived on Super Bowl Sunday, fresh off visiting her son, her brother, and one of the grandkids in southern California. Robyn was greeted by a small earthquake upon her arrival there, but I would...
Happy Lunar New Year. This weekend, as millions mingle in Las Vegas for the Super Bowl, another event will be celebrated across the world on an even larger platform! At this moment, millions of people...
Lee’s brother and her mom used to regale me with stories of her harrowing first year of life, when, for a time it appears, she hovered above the razor’s edge between life and death. Happily, for...
This past weekend Robyn, Lola the pup, and I were in the Cleveland area to see our friends Bob and Linda. Early Saturday afternoon, while Lola stayed home to relax, we humans left to eat at a cozy restaurant/gift...
It had rained non-stop from Illinois and Indiana through Ohio and Kentucky, into parts of Tennessee, crisscrossing the Great Smokey Mountains. A challenging stretch of road for two flatlanders but we...
This Saturday Morning marks the beginning of the Labor Day Weekend which for many brings the unofficial end to Summer 2024 and the official beginning of Local Summer. In places like the Jersey Shore, where...
Just like clockwork, another July rolls around. As each year passes, the important dates seem to hold more value as we get further from when Erik was here. July holds so much significance for us. July...
This is the fourth, 4th of July we’ve celebrated without Tony. It doesn’t feel as devastating as it did the first few years. While it doesn’t hurt like it did in the beginning, I still find myself...
Because summer has always been my favorite season, and I strongly dislike cold climates, the Fourth of July had always been one of my favorite holidays growing up in the North. For me, this holiday was...
Outside of Father’s Day a few weeks ago, I have been feeling relatively at peace. There are likely a few reasons for that feeling. The madness of the last school year is in the rearview mirror. Kid sports...
As a widow, we hear plenty of platitudes. One of them being ‘time will heal all’. It’s one that I truly dislike and still makes me cringe mostly because I don’t believe it’s true. I don’t believe...
On Thursday, my family and I paid a loving tribute to my mother when her ashes were interred with my father’s at Saratoga National Cemetery in New York. One year earlier to the day, my father’s Military...
As we enter June, my mind starts to think about all things surrounding Father’s Day. It will be our third Father’s Day without Erik. Each year seems to get harder as the twins get older. They have...
The Memorial Day Weekend sort of crept up on me this year. Back in my former locale at the Jersey Shore, this weekend ushers in the official start of a short, yet very active, summer season of beaching,...
A repost! I miss the little things. The things not many people talk about in loss. I don’t just miss my person on holidays, anniversaries, or milestones, but all those in between days. All the in-between...
What a week! Sometimes, life just piles it on, doesn’t it? Last week, was spring break so the kids were home all week. I didn’t take any time off work, so we did our best to balance it all. They ran...
COMMUNITY! Good things emerge from great need. The first of its kind, Camp Widow is an example of a good thing born out of great need when a 36-year-old suddenly-widowed woman found herself in need of...
In processing grief, I often hear people use the term, “Moving On”. But, most who are recovering from the trauma of losing a loved one prefer “Moving Forward”. Some might ask, “What’s the difference?”...
In Life and In Widow-Dog Training PART three Last night, I took this picture of Indy as she watched over her territory. This morning, she moved into action mode over the dangerous action of me looking...
I found myself lying wide awake at 10:49 the Monday night before my birthday wishing that midnight just wouldn’t come. And that if it did, that my birthday wish would come true. That when that clock...
HI Friends. I feel like a broken record, but once again my apologies for not posting in here the last couple weeks. I really don’t completely forget on purpose. Its just that the last few weeks have...
This Saturday Morning marks the beginning of the Labor Day Weekend which for many brings the unofficial end to Summer 2024 and the official beginning of Local Summer. In places like the Jersey Shore, where...
PART two We all come from somewhere, right? When I got an adorable puppy, a Labrador Dog, apparently I also got a Labrador Wolf. The tiny face looking up at me with innocent eyes evolved from a...
A repost! Join me next week to read about this year’s birthday. August has always been such a busy month in our lives. Our entire family’s birthdays. Summer plans, parties, trips…memories. This...
It’s been over a month since I was in San Diego for Camp Widow. Somehow in the whirlwind of the last five weeks I haven’t written much about that experience. This was my fourth camp, but it had a different...
Yesterday, August 23rd, the Awareness Observation of International Blind Dog Day took place, a day to recognize the resilience, adaptability, and courage of blind dogs and to promote empathy and understanding...
One Widow and Her Lab PART One Background noise at my house includes scratching, licking, and the occasional squeak of a dog toy. A quiet warning growl followed by an alarmed leap of dog-body in my peripheral...
Earlier this week a few of my cousins had texted me about my birthday plans. I had completely forgotten that my birthday was coming up. I had been so focused on the twins and Erik’s birthday that I had...
Content Warning: Child loss and suicide Today my heart broke. A family in my community lost their high school aged son to suicide. Details were sparse, but I knew a boy had died and he was about...
I found myself lying wide awake at 10:49 the Monday night before my birthday wishing that midnight just wouldn’t come. And that if it did, that my birthday wish would come true. That when that clock...
A repost! Join me next week to read about this year’s birthday. August has always been such a busy month in our lives. Our entire family’s birthdays. Summer plans, parties, trips…memories. This...
Just like clockwork, another July rolls around. As each year passes, the important dates seem to hold more value as we get further from when Erik was here. July holds so much significance for us. July...
Emily is on vacation this week enjoying some time with family. I love this post from her titled Grief Is, a poem Emily wrote near the first anniversary of Tony’s death. ~ Mary Moore Hughes Grief...
Whew! It has been a hectic few weeks. I feel like I’m always in survival go-go-go mode where I’m just going through the motions of doing things without really being fully present in what I’m doing...
Saturday, I hosted a BBQ backyard campout with my neighborhood crew for the third anniversary of Tony’s death. We gathered in the afternoon and six family’s setup tents to spend the night. Eighteen...
As I started to get ready for bed tonight, I realized it was Monday and I haven’t yet written anything. Our days feel so packed right now I don’t find myself looking too far forward. Which is probably...
The kids and I made a plan for what to do on the upcoming third anniversary of Tony’s death. One of the boys and I were by ourselves driving recently when he asked me about camping. If we were ever...
Today marks the beginning of another April. This is THE month for me, the one we lost Tony. Last week I was chatting with a friend, and she asked me how I was feeling with the anniversary coming up soon...
St. Patrick’s Day 2024 marked two years since Erik took his last breath. This year seemed to be more challenging in different ways than I remembered year one being. It seemed to hit harder and more vivid...
What a week! Sometimes, life just piles it on, doesn’t it? Last week, was spring break so the kids were home all week. I didn’t take any time off work, so we did our best to balance it all. They ran...
Next Sunday is our wedding anniversary. Because it’s on St. Patrick’s Day, people tend to remember the date. Last night, my friends were asking how I wanted to spend that day and offered companionship...
