Robyn and I talk almost every morning. It’s a kind of well-being check-in for us, I think. I would get concerned if I couldn’t reach her (without an excused absence). She feels the same. In any case,...
Our Own Way We wish for our person to rest in peace—what about us? Are there moments of peace that we create for ourselves? Grief follows us like a shadow. No matter where we turn it can show up...
As summer draws near and we are at the finish line for yet another school year, the weight of being a solo parent has been even more apparent lately. First, it started with research and enrollment for...
Sunday afternoons are sometimes still the most nostalgic and bittersweet times. I frequently have packed weekends, often a little too “peopley.” And it is a relief to get to Sunday evening, to pause,...
“Who says you can’t go home?” asks the lyrics of a song written by New Jersey natives, Jon Bon Jovi and Richie Sambora. Two weeks ago, I made a trek to my home state of New Jersey for a quick visit...
I’m currently on a 4 day outing on the Oregon coast and typing this post up from my little teardrop trailer. On the drive out here on Wednesday, it occurred to me that I’m not really “camping”...
Last night was another Boys’ Night Out, an occasional, generally impromptu, casual dinner (or breakfast or lunch) with some of the fellas. We’re all old men now, and to see us today, it’s hard...
. . how I’m doing on that list. Some 13 years past, the Facebook posts saved as “memories” are interesting to read. My Grandmother passed away at 83 on Holy Saturday. My Aunt Cissie...
Saturday, I had the pleasure of catching up with two of my friends from college. One friend lives locally but we don’t see each other nearly often as we should. My other friend lives in a coastal city...
Lynn and I met a year before we were officially a couple. For a year, we steadily became closer friends. (Honestly, I was secretly dating her for that year, but she didn’t know it…) Lynn bought a brand...
Today, the day before Mother’s Day, is officially Dog Mom’s Day. For many, especially those that are widowed, our dogs (and other pets) can fill a great void when no human can, providing comfort...
(Originally posted this in 2024 for Mario’s birthday. I didn’t get to really celebrate this year because I had too many client meetings that day, but am hoping to pick the tradition back up...
On the 4th Year of Re-membering A Day in Review Writing this post is the last ritual of a day of re-membering the life of Dan Neff. Beloved husband, papa, and grandfather. Greatly missed by many. A good...
Why It Works A few of us drove to Palm Springs this week to view Camp Widow: The Documentary at the AmDoc Filmfest. In spite of the fact that two of us have been to camp several times, we both cried during...
and a Camp named Widow “Camp Widow is a gathering for widowed people by widowed people. Over the course of three days, attendees speak candidly about death, forge connections with others over shared...
Why Speak of Them? Does it matter? As a widow of nearly four years, I wonder how many widowed people just tough-it-out and don’t reach out for help during their early days of widowhood. Or, perhaps...
I remember as soon as Mario passed away, I started having weird, unexpected pains. There were these stabbing type of head pains that I’d never really dealt with before. There were unusual body aches...
to the Work of Grieving Grief work feels overwhelming. It takes courage to step toward the work with all the feelings in the way. Sadness that our person is not there. The strange dance of feeling hope...
The Accidental Skills-Course of Widowhood My husband passed away in April 2021 and since then I’ve been in charge of household mishaps, maintenance, and acts of God such as wind, rain, storm, and...
A Valentine of the One Left Behind What does one do about Valentine’s day If you are the one left behind? It feels pretty wretched when February returns and Saint Valentine’s Day marks time. “Remember...
Tai Chi and Widowhood The year twenty twenty-five is the year of Tai Chi for me. On Monday, Wednesday, and Friday at 10am, my friend and I step into a room with about twenty other seniors and follow the...
How does story impact grief? The personal narrative of our life, often called Our Story, belongs to only us. Others may have shared life with us, but our perspective and interpretation is ours alone. We...
How Am I? Last week’s post skimmed the surface of a deep-dive topic. In some ways, the question “How am I?” is a question relevant in the aftermath of any significant trauma or loss...
Are we truly getting better? I’m trying to remember what I was looking for when seeking signs that I am doing “better” in the early days of being widowed. If I remember correctly, I...
Robyn and I talk almost every morning. It’s a kind of well-being check-in for us, I think. I would get concerned if I couldn’t reach her (without an excused absence). She feels the same. In any case,...
Lola and I returned home from Tucson around ten days ago. Predictably, at the end, we were greeted by bumper-to-bumper traffic conditions amidst interminable local construction projects that extended...
During her recent visit to Tucson, Robyn mentioned that she was scheduled to take a medical test once she returned home. She was upset by the prospect and visibly concerned. Thankfully, it seems she...
Robyn arrived here in Tucson just before midnight on Saturday. Through Wednesday afternoon we hiked, shopped, gambled, visited friends, kissed and hugged, and sampled the best that Tucson has to offer,...
Eight days from today Lola the Pup and I bid farewell to Robyn. Then, for the third consecutive year, we’re off to our Winter quarters in the American Southwest. I take this annual extended journey...
Robyn had set her alarm. She wanted to see a local television countdown to the New Year but dozed right through it. Each year her favorite weather gal and handsome on-air partner perform a music and dance...
Happy Birthday Jackson! Yesterday, Jackson, our local hound-lab mix rescue, turned the Big One according to his adoption records. He was one of a litter of nine brought to the shelter as they struggled...
Every day, I see small yellow and red leaves falling in the hundreds, relentless falling leaves coloring the lawn. The geese are gathering. Were they drawn together by chance to form the V-formations cutting...
“Are we going to get a stepdad?” my then 7-year-old asked me. It had been less than one month since Tony died. Like all deep questions posed by children, this one was at bedtime. It was a question...
On Friday, the weather in New York City was picture-perfect. Warm sunshine reflected off the Hudson and the blue sky was completely cloudless. I chatted with a Louisiana woman, now living in New York City. ...
HI Friends. I feel like a broken record, but once again my apologies for not posting in here the last couple weeks. I really don’t completely forget on purpose. Its just that the last few weeks have...
Robyn was born in the 20th Century, the youngest of three children, and not too long before I arrived. She grew up in the big city, attended its public schools, and has a high school diploma to prove it...
. . how I’m doing on that list. Some 13 years past, the Facebook posts saved as “memories” are interesting to read. My Grandmother passed away at 83 on Holy Saturday. My Aunt Cissie...
Today, the day before Mother’s Day, is officially Dog Mom’s Day. For many, especially those that are widowed, our dogs (and other pets) can fill a great void when no human can, providing comfort...
It’s been a “mundane” but productive week filled with property-related distractions; the homestead matters that call for care and maintenance, those things that keep me grounded, literally...
Yesterday was the 4th anniversary of Tony’s passing. In case you missed it, yesterday was also Easter. I have known and dreaded for a full year that these two events would coincide. About a month ago,...
My Awareness Calendar reminds me that April, among other things, contains the Awareness Observances of Adopt a Greyhound Month, Global Volunteer Month, Library Snapshot Month, National Pet Month, and Couple...
Last Monday, should have been my 18th wedding anniversary. I had almost lost sight of its impending arrival. His death anniversary falls on Easter this year. Preparing for that had been taking up my extra...
I’m drafting this post as I watch the UCONN-Villanova Big East Tournament game.March Madness has begun. If you are into basketball, you understand the amazing legacy of both the UCONN men’s and...
This was my fourth Valentine’s Day without a Valentine. It was never a huge holiday for us but that doesn’t mean it’s not a reminder of grief. Seeing the advertisements still remind you that your...
Yesterday was Valentine’s Day. For the widowed, it can be a day as emotionally charged as anniversaries, holiday and birthdates. No matter where you are in your ongoing recovery process, these events...
As I sit here finishing my preparations for the Lunar New Year tomorrow I can’t help but look back on this past year. Lunar New Year has always been one of the most important holidays to our family next...
Everyone is ready for January to be over. There are jokes online about how this month feels never ending. Record cold and snow for some of us, and devasting fires for others. It has not been a great month...
Each year since Tony died, I have taken the kids on a vacation the week between Christmas and New Years. We’ve been to Disney World, Jamaica, Mexico, and this year I took the boys on their first ever...
Our Own Way We wish for our person to rest in peace—what about us? Are there moments of peace that we create for ourselves? Grief follows us like a shadow. No matter where we turn it can show up...
As summer draws near and we are at the finish line for yet another school year, the weight of being a solo parent has been even more apparent lately. First, it started with research and enrollment for...
Sunday afternoons are sometimes still the most nostalgic and bittersweet times. I frequently have packed weekends, often a little too “peopley.” And it is a relief to get to Sunday evening, to pause,...
“Who says you can’t go home?” asks the lyrics of a song written by New Jersey natives, Jon Bon Jovi and Richie Sambora. Two weeks ago, I made a trek to my home state of New Jersey for a quick visit...
. . how I’m doing on that list. Some 13 years past, the Facebook posts saved as “memories” are interesting to read. My Grandmother passed away at 83 on Holy Saturday. My Aunt Cissie...
Saturday, I had the pleasure of catching up with two of my friends from college. One friend lives locally but we don’t see each other nearly often as we should. My other friend lives in a coastal city...
(Originally posted this in 2024 for Mario’s birthday. I didn’t get to really celebrate this year because I had too many client meetings that day, but am hoping to pick the tradition back up...
What is time, anyway? Time is how we measure and make sense of change. At its core, time is a concept we use to track the sequence and duration of events. It’s how we understand that one thing happens...
A repost! Last week the twins and I returned from my first solo flight with them since Erik’s passing. I had been anticipating this flight for quite some time. All the worries that come with being a...
I took a last-minute vacation day last week to spend the day alone. The decision came after looking at the calendar and realizing almost every day between now and the end of school is occupied with kid...
Perusing today’s newspaper, I was drawn to the tantalizing headline: “How Nearly a Century of Happiness Research Led to One Big Finding” (found at https://www.nytimes.com/2025/05/01/magazine/happiness-research-studies-relationships.html). ...
Of Loss I’m writing today from a disoriented space of transition. A liminal space. It is said that grief is such a place. The location of disorientation today is loss. It is a practical loss; yet,...
Yesterday was the 4th anniversary of Tony’s passing. In case you missed it, yesterday was also Easter. I have known and dreaded for a full year that these two events would coincide. About a month ago,...
Our cat has been missing for four days, and the anniversary of Tony’s death is in six days. Into that equation go ahead and add that my oldest will be 16 in two days. In summation, I am struggling. I...
= A Very Long Time In just 13 days we arrive at the fourth anniversary of Dan’s death. Recently, I realized that there have been sixteen “90 day increments” since saying goodbye to...
This is a repost as I am away and traveling with my widow crew at the beginning of another April! (posted by Mary Moore Hughes on behalf of Emily) Today marks the beginning of another April. This is THE...
Yesterday was the 13th anniversary of Lynn and I buying our super sweet, super small, 1950’s “Wonder Years” home. It is in the same neighborhood...
Last Monday, should have been my 18th wedding anniversary. I had almost lost sight of its impending arrival. His death anniversary falls on Easter this year. Preparing for that had been taking up my extra...
A repost! Lately, time has seemed to tick by so fast, mostly during these ‘ber’ months. Something this past weekend made me realize how quickly the twins are growing up and how it just feels like each...
Here we are yet again. Another year. Another death anniversary. As this week began, so did the replays. The replays of each day of this week leading up to Erik’s death. The replay of each detail. Each...
In two weeks it will be three years since you took your last breath. So much has changed since you’ve been gone, yet sometimes it feels as if it was still just yesterday. I still very much feel as if...
A repost as we head into March! As we have now entered the dark month I find myself significantly more anxious during my days, more than I have been for a while. I feel like I have been trying so hard...
Yesterday was Valentine’s Day. For the widowed, it can be a day as emotionally charged as anniversaries, holiday and birthdates. No matter where you are in your ongoing recovery process, these events...
A repost! Whew! It has been a hectic few weeks. I feel like I’m always in survival go-go-go mode where I’m just going through the motions of doing things without really being fully present in what...
