Part of the Work of Grief
Sometimes your feelings are right. You need to take a chill pill, slow down, hang out with friends, and cry your heart out.
Other times, they need to be corrected.
What you need to do then is examine your emotions, separate false from truth, make a plan for refreshing, and continue the journey.
You, not your feelings, are the boss of you.
Never forget that. — Debra Adoula
Some many years ago, a wise man was speaking to a group I was a part of and said,
“Anyone have an EKG lately? What did the movement pattern look like?”
Someone raised their hand and demonstrated a movement of highs and lows.
“That’s right. There are a series of movements…active movement. Rising and falling.”
“And what does ‘flat line” mean?”
Someone calls out, “Dead.”
“Correct. And does it matter if the flat line is high or low?”
A nursing student calls out, “No. If the reading is not a series of rising and falling (if it’s a flat line) that means the heart has stopped beating.”
“Correct.”
“The EKG reading is a metaphor for life. The patterns of high and low, happy and sad, good days or bad, positive or negative; it is the movement itself that verifies life.”
The highs and lows of life are the heartbeat of our daily living.
For a few hours this past week, my feelings took me on a ride.
I’m not aware of a trigger, though I suspect I could find one if I dig deep. All I know is that “down” feeling came over me and I couldn’t shake it loose.
I was working on a project, a large table spread before me, and the TV was on in the background.
It’s both easy and difficult to explain the feeling. Perhaps some here will recognize it. It just felt like the end of the world. Despair. Nothing good or safe to be found. I was in a pit of despair.
I allowed the feelings to be there. Let myself cry fully.
Then something occurred that I can only call grace.
A movie started playing.
Arriving unbidden, the movie stopped me in my tracks.
Story after story of “brokenness” played out and provided a backdrop that connected with my own despair.
I remained in my chair, my hands on auto pilot with the task before me.
The TV scrolled on in the theme of music.
Leonard Bernstein showed up next with Rhapsody in Blue
A few hours went by.
I completed my task.
My sorrow was lifted.
I mean, see how life is?
—Steve Bagmanyan,The Last Repair Shop | 2024 Oscar-winning Documentary Short
The stream of stories, music, and the hormone, oxytocin, arrived like a warm sun, peeking through clouds on a stormy day.
Anyone in need of a reset today?
