1,245 Days Borrowing a poem from Mary Oliver to remember you: Not Anyone Who Says Not anyone who says, “I’m going to be careful and smart in matters of love,” who says, “I’m going to choose slowly.” Nope. Mary Oliver’s opening words do not describe our particular story. We were young (so young!) and […]
Widowed
The Loss
Today is World Suicide Prevention Day. This day brings a range of emotions to the forefront. Wishing that I had seen something sooner. Wishing I could have prevented what happened with Erik. Wishing I’ll be able to find the right words to explain what happened to our kids. There’s so much stigma around suicide loss. […]
Suicide Narrative
September 10th is World Suicide Prevention Day. According to the World Health Organization (WHO), there are more than 700,000 deaths by suicide every year. The WHO’s theme this year is “Changing the Narrative on Suicide.” I’d like to take you through a different approach than they probably intended but one that is important to me. […]
Progress Not Perfection
In Life and In Widow-Dog Training PART three Last night, I took this picture of Indy as she watched over her territory. This morning, she moved into action mode over the dangerous action of me looking out the window! A light yellow flash of 70 pounds of athletic animal leaping through the doggie door; […]
Forever 32
I found myself lying wide awake at 10:49 the Monday night before my birthday wishing that midnight just wouldn’t come. And that if it did, that my birthday wish would come true. That when that clock struck 12, I would find myself back in 2022 before what would become the worst day of our lives. […]
Choices and Adjustments
HI Friends. I feel like a broken record, but once again my apologies for not posting in here the last couple weeks. I really don’t completely forget on purpose. Its just that the last few weeks have been INCREDIBLY STRESSFUL and chaotic and soooo busy with moving, packing, getting into my new apartment, then unpacking, […]
Widowed Without Kids
I’m one of the widowed people who have no children and my guess is that it’s a very different experience than those of you who lost your spouse but have kids. Even when I was a child myself, I never even thought I’d have a child of my own. Other kids (probably all girls) played […]
Labs and Wolves:
PART two We all come from somewhere, right? When I got an adorable puppy, a Labrador Dog, apparently I also got a Labrador Wolf. The tiny face looking up at me with innocent eyes evolved from a sobering game of stayin’ alive: the message from her wolf forbears. Becoming a kick-ass Lab is in […]
August Slipped Away
A repost! Join me next week to read about this year’s birthday. August has always been such a busy month in our lives. Our entire family’s birthdays. Summer plans, parties, trips…memories. This past month, mostly these past two weeks have been more of a rollercoaster than I remember last year being. This was the first […]
My Fourth Camp Widow
It’s been over a month since I was in San Diego for Camp Widow. Somehow in the whirlwind of the last five weeks I haven’t written much about that experience. This was my fourth camp, but it had a different feel to it for me for a few reasons. A few of my staple Camp […]
Energy Shifts
I actually had to look up if Mercury was in retrograde because it’s definitely been A Week when it comes to just technical issues and weird energy. Every now and then, I blame that poor planet for messing things up (although, I typically am not as affected as others believe and I think it’s due […]
Bringing Up Indy:
One Widow and Her Lab PART One Background noise at my house includes scratching, licking, and the occasional squeak of a dog toy. A quiet warning growl followed by an alarmed leap of dog-body in my peripheral vision. A light yellow flash of 70 pounds of athletic animal leaping through the doggie door; flying full […]