Over the last few years, I’ve dated on and off. I’ve primarily used dating apps because I don’t find myself ‘in the wild’ where there are other single people. Dating as a widow, after a marriage I was happy in has been a challenge. While I can feel broken and discombobulated, I also know what […]
Widowed
Once Upon a Time…👑
…In a Far, Far Away Kingdom 👸🏻 In the kingdom of Washington, DC, there lived a beautiful, brave, brave princess. She had just entered teenagehood, and she lived with her loving parents, the King and Queen, her older brother, the Prince, and the royal pet, June, the collie-lab mix. They lived a lovely, chaotic life, […]
Awaiting the Unknown
So they’re coming this afternoon … I’ve boxed up all of the things for them to take away. Lots of photos that I know they want and a lot of other things I hope they will want. I read a few more of those letters Jim wrote to Estelle from Vietnam and they are just so […]
Mother’s Day with Boys
Another Mother’s Day has come and gone; six to be exact since Tony died. It is still weird to wake up on a day like Mother’s Day without him. I always take myself back in time to the last one he was alive for. He and the boys picked up the house, emptied the dishwasher, […]
The Saying “You Marry Your Mother”
There is a saying “you marry your mother / father,” which suggests that people often subconsciously choose a partner with similar temperaments, traits, behaviors, etc as their parents. A few years into my and Lynn’s relationship, I remember thinking this saying seemed to be true for me. This Mother’s Day, I am remembering the ways […]
What do Cinco de Mayo 🇲🇽 and Mother’s Day 💐 have in common?
Nothing, except everything. Yesterday, May 5th, the grief hit me out of nowhere, yet not entirely unexpectedly. We loved turning nothing into something, any excuse into a celebration. Take Cinco de Mayo, for instance. Not Mexican Independence Day 🇲🇽 and not a widely celebrated holiday in Mexico, but after nearly 30 years […]
Ya gotta feel all the feelings
… and I’ve sure been doing a lot of ‘feeling’ lately. Feeling Jim’s absence here in our home as the days, weeks, months pass. Feeling my age … in my brain and in my body. I just don’t have the energy to “people” – to put on that happy face for others. I have a […]
A Hole in the House
What in the widowed life is going on here? I have a literal hole in my house. This is a prime example of a situation where I would have had to exert zero thoughts on the matter if Tony was alive. Instead, I am very overwhelmed. Last week, my oldest came home from school and […]
Need to Update My Emotional Emergency Fund
I read recently that “Emergency funds are financial shock absorbers, protecting your budget from unexpected car repairs, medical bills, job loss, etc. Funds should be kept in a safe, easily accessible account. This can reduce financial stress, and act as a buffer against income disruptions.” It made me reflect on the times when I have had a healthy emergency […]
Hanging with Other Widowed People
I mentioned the first failed attempt at going to a local widow’s group I was invited to join but this Monday rolled around and my friend who invited me texted me to remind me the group was meeting for lunch that day. The struggle is real when you’re an introvert and you’re asked to “show […]
The Wild Wild Southwest 🌵
First things first, and the most important thing first: this airline gets me!!! ➡️➡️➡️➡️➡️➡️ But seriously, the polarity of this journey that goes from one end of the emotional spectrum to the other in a nanosecond, I had to take a picture of it. Well, we did it! We survived and, may I dare say, […]
For Better or For Worse
I just found this newspaper cartoon clipping in Jim’s bedside drawer. It was folded up in a basket of miscellaneous keys, coins and receipts so I hadn’t yet taken the time to sort through all of it. I love Iris’ words: “We made a commitment … and although it’s not easy, this is all part […]