This morning I received an email inviting Tony to his 30-year high school reunion. Immediately the mental gymnastics started. Whose email address did this come to? Will his death be a topic of conversation at the reunion? Or will he quietly be forgotten by those we were close to? And remembering how much fun we […]
Widowed
We’re on this Roller Coaster Together
A friend recently connected me with her friend who had unexpectedly lost her partner a few months ago. In talking with her, I recognized that “under the surface shock while trying to pretend to hold a normal conversation” that I (and probably most of us) felt after Lynn passed – especially for those first 6-12 […]
Radical Acceptance 🏳️
“Radical acceptance of our story is the only way to move forward. All that matters is what is actually in your story. And part of radically accepting it is letting your own story break your heart.” I came across this quote by Katherine Wolf, while searching for more grief and healing podcasts, and […]
Hello August … Hello Melancholy
For the past 16 years I’ve been visited by a melancholy that begins mid-August and lasts through September. Some years it has spoken quite loudly; other years just a quiet whisper. This year feels especially heavy. I’ve mentioned previously that my two wedding anniversaries and two death dates are very closely connected: I married Vern […]
CONGRATULATIONS
Tonight I was texting with my original Camp Widow crew of four. We haven’t all been together, in person, in a few years. But our connection is still strong and even if some time passes, we are always just a text away. As we were texting, I was reminded of where one of our inside […]
WARNING ⚠️ Super Long & Vulnerable Post Ahead ➡️
It finally happened! It was in the ice cream aisle at the grocery store. My very own first scene of the next rom-com Hallmark blockbuster 🤣 Last week I went to the grocery store to buy a few things because we had nothing. We had just gotten back from our trip, exhausted but, lo bailado nadie […]
I’m making a list …
“When something bad happens you have three choices. You can either let it define you, let it destroy you, or you can let it strengthen you.” I’ve certainly let Jim’s death define me during these past 10+ months – and I did it after Vern died, too. Lots of hurts and oh so many tears. […]
It never ends …
As of writing this, it’s been 2002 days since Mario shuffled off this mortal coil. Two thousand and two sounds a lot crazier than “over 5 years”. It seriously does not seem like I’ve woken up that many times without him being in my life. The other day, I had to dig out the ol’ […]
I (YOU) Will Survive ❤️🩹
“At first I was afraid, I was petrifiedThinking I could live without you by my side” Meet my girlfriends Lizzie, widowed for six years, has three amazing teenage and young adult boys. Evelyn has been divorced for more than ten years and has one amazing teenage daughter and one spunky, super-cool tween son 😎. The […]
I’m Becoming ….
I’ve been posting a lot about aging, I know. That number – 75 – just seemed to consume me and became my identity for all sorts of reasons. Losing Jim. His family. Still missing Vern. Feeling sick. Being alone. But I’m grateful to share that there’s been a much needed change. It’s been subtle, gradual. […]
Home Repairs Not Repaired
In May, I made a post about a hole in my house. A Hole in the House – Widow’s Voice Birds had found a soft spot in a soffit, and they managed to squeeze in and make a nest there. Unfortunately, the hole still isn’t fixed. At every turn, I have been disappointed by the […]
Light Summer Reading 📚
The Wild Edge of Sorrow This book has been sitting on my nightstand for months. I love reading, yet that’s another thing that took a back seat to trauma and grief. I finally started reading the book today. As I lay on the sand and opened the book, I laughed to myself. “Wow, girl… you’re […]