When Tony died, he left us with a deep freezer full of meat. There were supplies for smoking BBQ, like ribs and pork butts likely purchased on sale. He also had vacuum sealed BBQ he’d already cooked saved for us to reheat later. We had ordered beef and pork from farmers, so there were cuts […]
Widowed Belongings
Tony Trees
In June of 2022, I had two trees planted and I call them my Tony Trees. A group of my sorority sisters had pooled money together so I could have them planted in his honor. It was a time when everyone was looking for a way to help. After sitting on it for a while, […]
Possessions
I stumbled on a YouTube video earlier in the week of a British guy talking about possessions and how he was at a rummage sale and thinking about all the items there were once items that someone cared deeply about and are now being sold for very little money. I didn’t end up watching the […]
Out of the Blue
Out of the blue, I received a text message from Joe’s wife, Katie. Regular readers know that Joe is Lee’s nephew. Joe, Katie, and their two children, Allie and Dean, now live in Grand Rapids, Michigan. It had been at least one year, probably more, since I last saw or heard from them. Katie wanted […]
It Is What It Is
To honor the strength it takes to face what we did not choose—and to recognize the quiet courage within ourselves and others that rises up to meet it. Oprah Daily Intention, April 4, 2026 I survived ‘the visit’ just fine (reference last week’s post). As usual, my thoughts and fears beforehand were far […]
Awaiting the Unknown
So they’re coming this afternoon … I’ve boxed up all of the things for them to take away. Lots of photos that I know they want and a lot of other things I hope they will want. I read a few more of those letters Jim wrote to Estelle from Vietnam and they are just so […]
A Hole in the House
What in the widowed life is going on here? I have a literal hole in my house. This is a prime example of a situation where I would have had to exert zero thoughts on the matter if Tony was alive. Instead, I am very overwhelmed. Last week, my oldest came home from school and […]
For Better or For Worse
I just found this newspaper cartoon clipping in Jim’s bedside drawer. It was folded up in a basket of miscellaneous keys, coins and receipts so I hadn’t yet taken the time to sort through all of it. I love Iris’ words: “We made a commitment … and although it’s not easy, this is all part […]
Ashes to Ashes
I thought I’d have a bit more time with him … but they want his ashes shipped now. So I got those required boxes from the Post Office and I carefully wrapped up both Jim and Estelle (his first wife) according to the specific instructions. I wasn’t able to fit both of them in one […]
Six Months
Even though it’s a bit cloudy, it’s a pretty lovely day here in the desert. My roses are budding and blooming, leaves have returned to the trees, there’s a soft breeze, 83 degrees. Spring has most definitely arrived. And it’s been six months since Jim died. He created this beautiful backyard, so I always […]
Permission To Discard
This post may sound like a rehash of a former post as I continue to clean out the garages of the house I purchased with my late-husband, Rich, six years ago in Georgia. That garage also contains the remainders of three homes in New Jersey. There are so many photos, cards and letters that I’ve […]
The Bittersweetness of Home Renovations
My siblings and I are renovating my Mom’s family home in the Philippines. Our Aunt passed away last year, and left her estate to the three of us (she and my Mom were the only siblings, and my Aunt had no children). We are in the long process of renovating the home. I was only […]