Sometime around 2009, I came across an observance called National Dog Week. Founded by a man named Captain Wm. Lewis Judy in 1928, this intriguing slice of canine Americana fascinated me; there really was an actual seven day observance just to celebrate dogs and the humans that love them during the last week of September […]
Widowed Belongings
No.
Yesterday I had a video call with some of the widows that I’ve met at Camp over the last few years. We usually keep in touch via text, but it was great to look at their faces instead of the text bubbles. Recently, one of us had solicited advice on how to handle a situation. […]
Readying for Another Sweep
I have been getting the itch to start purging again. The first time I got rid of anything it was about 5 months after Tony died. I went through his clothes because it was something I knew. Heck, I probably purchased 75% of his wardrobe! I didn’t need to question what something was worth, where […]
Lee to the Rescue
Ordinarily Tuesdays and Wednesdays are busy days. Not only are these the days when I craft my posts to this site, but on alternating Tuesdays, including this past one, it’s also when I clean my house for Julia, the biweekly housekeeper. (I would not want Julia to discover how I really keep my house most […]
Nephew Like a Son
Yesterday marked the one year anniversary of the passing of my nephew, Zac. It is still so surreal to acknowledge that fact. Tomorrow he would’ve celebrated his 41st birthday. He was the only son of my sister, Manette, who passed at age 57 five years ago. That too is still difficult to process. We often […]
Form 632
I am not one of those people who is tethered to a cell phone, so, while the call had come in around 1 pm., I didn’t notice the message until nearly five o’clock. As soon as I saw it was from the “310 “area code, I assumed it was the Los Angeles law firm that […]
Grief and Circumstances
I always miss Tony, but I found myself missing him at every turn this week. Our youngest was denied a spot on the soccer team with his friends again this year. I cannot help to think if Tony were here, he would be in the unofficial Dad Club where these decisions are made. I […]
One Last Meal
If you’ve been widowed a hot minute, you know there are many first and lasts you experience over the years after your partners death. This might sound weird to some people but Sunday evening the kids and I ate the last of Tony’s barbeque. Smoked sausage and brisket burnt ends to be exact. We spent […]
Salvaging the Past
Years ago when I still lived in my hometown of Hackensack, NJ, I acquired a stained glass masterpiece; a window that had been removed from one of the city’s stately mansions demolished to make way for another new high-rise condominium complex along Prospect Avenue with a amazing view of NYC in the distance. Measuring approximately […]
Boundaries as a Superpower
Setting boundaries might be my widow superpower. Okay, maybe not a superpower but it’s a skill I continue to learn to flex. By nature, I’m a people pleaser who hates confrontation. However, losing Tony and experiencing everything that comes along with that loss changes a person. I don’t have the time or the capacity to […]
Staying in Place
I remember the day I drove home from the hospital up in Brunswick, Georgia, with the hard realization that Rich would never be walking up to our front door again. That is a sobering and defining moment. During the 3 weeks he’d spent in the ICU, each drive home was filled with a glimmer of […]
Trains of Thought
One of the most significant milestones for those who find themselves widowed is dealing with the items that belonged to your spouse, or significant other. Some people handle that task soon after the death of their partner, others wait for months, if not years, before they can bring themselves to do it. Closets. Armoires. Desks. […]