I just found this newspaper cartoon clipping in Jim’s bedside drawer. It was folded up in a basket of miscellaneous keys, coins and receipts so I hadn’t yet taken the time to sort through all of it.

I love Iris’ words:

“We made a commitment … and although it’s not easy, this is all part of loving someone – with all your heart – and with all you have to give! It’s a promise that should last a lifetime. It defines you as a person and describes your soul. It’s a promise to be there, one for the other, no matter what happens, no matter who falls …for better or for worse, my dears … for better or for worse.”

I’ve written in here before that I believe my purpose for being in this world is to have been Vern’s and Jim’s caregiver when they needed me … and the words in this cartoon just help to reinforce that belief. Thank you for this little ‘find’, Jim (I’m writing this on the 7 month date of your passing).

I’m grateful I was able to live those words, spoken at both of my weddings. A whole lot of heavy caregiving was needed during each of their final years, and there was no family here to assist either time. It was just the two of us.

Vern & Dianne. Jim & Dianne.

And that helped our bond to be even deeper, so I can be very grateful for that, too.

Jim and Estelle’s ashes arrived safely at his sister’s home in Minnesota. If you ever need to do this, be prepared for the cost. I wasn’t. The boxes you are required to use are very thick and heavy, as are the filled urns. I wasn’t able to fit them both in the same box, so two boxes … $277!

Jim’s son called and we had a nice conversation. Much better than the last one we had. I did tell him that Jim’s sister had texted me that the ashes had arrived safely and she asked if I would be coming to the celebration of life in June. His response was that they hadn’t sent out any invitations. No date was offered and I didn’t ask. I really don’t see how my attending would be good for me or my newly widowed soul … I am sure it would only emphasize the complete separation I have felt from Jim’s family since he died.  I’ll just continue to celebrate Jim here with Sheila in our lovely backyard. And watch for those feather messages from him.

So they’ll be here in a couple of weeks to collect the Harley, cargo trailer and photos. That’s all they want to pick up. I’ve emptied the trailer and have all of the family photos boxed up and ready to go. It will be quite nice to have that bike out of the garage. I sent them photos of the memorabilia that I thought they would want – but they said they don’t want any of it and just don’t have the room for it. I’m keeping it out for them to look over anyway. There’s room in that trailer for all of it.

That’s something we seem to hear a lot, isn’t it? Our kids are just not interested in our sentimental stuff, or actually any of our stuff.

I do plan to ask them how I can handle all of those other items. Must I keep it all here in the house so it will be here after I’m gone, just in case they have a change of heart? Or can I get rid of some of these things? There are some items that if they don’t want, they will definitely find them here when they come to claim the house after I’m gone. They surprisingly aren’t interested at all in those lovely letters I found that Jim wrote to Estelle while in Viet Nam. His response was ‘that was a different Jim’. So if they don’t want them, I will read through them all to honor the young Jim I never knew and the love he shared with his new bride. And I will leave them here in this house. I could never throw those out. I don’t plan on leaving here any time soon, so perhaps a grandchild or great-grandchild will be interested in them years from now.