New Posts

A gratitude post for those early days of grief.

A gratitude post for those early days of grief.

A fellow widow and amazing writer (check out her newsletter!) inspired me this week to think and write about the ways I was supported in my early days of grief. I am definitely not a person who believes...

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The Art of Celebrating a Life Well-Lived

The Art of Celebrating a Life Well-Lived

Today my late husband Rich will celebrate a birthday in the Afterlife. I don’t know how birthday anniversaries are celebrated in that world, but down here I will be celebrating the occasion in a unique...

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Not Quite Arrived

Not Quite Arrived

By the time I exit the State of Missouri I’ve come to appreciate John Steinbeck’s astute observation, based on his own travels, that our country’s interstate highway system may be a fine solution...

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What does hope look like for me now?

What does hope look like for me now?

Image by precious widbud Charlotte MacNaughton – Yellowknife, Canada’s Northwest Territories (Jan 2023) Way back when, back in my life before, and soon after I had started up my business, Kaleidoscope...

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Cheering On Our Team

Cheering On Our Team

Yesterday was a big day for my city. In two weeks, my beloved Chiefs are headed back to the biggest football game. Like the week before, I gathered with my neighborhood crew to watch the game. If you didn’t...

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Getting Back

Getting Back

One of the biggest challenges of adjusting to life as a widow is trying to hold on to the memory of the life you had as part of a long-time couple while trying to remember the “Me” before “We”...

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Joshua Tree

Joshua Tree

This month I embarked on a solo trip for fun to Los Angeles and Palm Springs. I have done this once before. In 2019, before I started my Ph.D. program I went to Puerto Rico by myself. It was freeing and...

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On the Road

On the Road

I had intended to publish last Thursday, as usual, but then experienced technical issues. Such are the vagaries of being off on the road. As you can see, I’m back online today and anxious to make up...

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Inspiration from

Inspiration from

The Widow Clicquot Who was 4 and a half feet tall with light colored hair and grey eyes and stormed the champagne industry during the French Revolution? That’s right! Barbe-Nicole: The Lady Herself...

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Violent Dreams to Usher In the Year of the Rabbit

Violent Dreams to Usher In the Year of the Rabbit

Image by Gary Bendig on Unsplash I have woken late this morning – almost 9 am – very late for me. But I have been drifting in and out of sleep for the past few hours – since before 6 am. I no longer...

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Greek Tragedy

Greek Tragedy

Losing Tony hasn’t really made me question who I am as a person, but it has made me question how I should spend my time. As a couple, we each participated in activities that the other person wouldn’t...

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Powering Through 

Powering Through 

In the spring of 2014, I was diagnosed with a thyroid disease called Hashimoto’s Thyroiditis. My doctor proclaimed it was the worst case he’d ever seen and classified my case as Myxedema, another...

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Newly Widowed

Both/And

Both/And

Both/And thinking [the opposite of either/or thinking] recognizes the folly of assuming that the new will totally supplant the old. Seeing with Both/And eyes recognizes that two opposite realities can...

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Inspiration from

Inspiration from

The Widow Clicquot Who was 4 and a half feet tall with light colored hair and grey eyes and stormed the champagne industry during the French Revolution? That’s right! Barbe-Nicole: The Lady Herself...

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Mapping Grief:

Mapping Grief:

A Man Called Otto. We first meet Otto six months after his wife’s death. With no apparent family, and having cut ties with those he was once close with, a grief-stricken Otto is isolated and in constant...

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Resilience

Resilience

What is resilience? the Sea asked the Rock   Ask the tree the Rock replied   What is Resilience? the Sea asked the Tree   We are it the Tree replied Sky, Tree, Plants, Rock, and Sea  ...

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Regrouping After Trauma

Regrouping After Trauma

Step By Step Professionals who write about trauma these days say that when a person experiences a trauma (small or large) it is important to allow the trauma to “keep moving through” our psyche...

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Ruff Times and Holidays

Ruff Times and Holidays

“The presence and companionship of dogs, the observation of their playful tactics has helped patients on their way back to normal thinking and living.” Captain Wm. Lewis Judy,Founder of National...

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The Longest Night

The Longest Night

At the winter solstice the Sun travels the shortest path through the sky, and that day therefore has the least daylight and the longest night.  [Editors of Encyclopaedia Britannica] Last night I participated...

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In Between

In Between

and Betwixt. I’m ill with Covid.   Illness is one of those things; a part of life; an activity of the living.   In between and betwixt countless other dailies that are just for me now...

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Early Morning Musings In Between Holidays

Early Morning Musings In Between Holidays

In 2021, seven months after Dan died, Thanksgiving arrived. In the calendar of our family traditions Christmas arrived just 32 days later. It is hard to believe that this is only the second holiday season...

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Missing

Missing

It began with a need for a garment bag the kind from the cleaners with its pre-slit hole for the hanger — dry cleaners size — with child safety warning included.   I doubted I had one...

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Art as a Tool for Healing

Art as a Tool for Healing

An Invitation Making art—giving form to the images that arise in our mind’s eye, our dreams, and our everyday lives—is a form of spiritual practice through which knowledge of ourselves...

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Cumulative Grief

Cumulative Grief

  When you’ve experienced multiple losses within a short period of time, you may begin to wonder how much more loss you can endure. This is known as Cumulative Grief, when one experiences multiple...

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Soaring Spirits Interational

Soaring Spirits Interational

Soaring Spirits builds community. We create, and maintain, innovative peer-based grief support programs for widowed men and women that serve a worldwide population. Based on the powerful connections created by shared experience, we endeavor to ensure that no one need grieve alone.

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Violent Dreams to Usher In the Year of the Rabbit

Violent Dreams to Usher In the Year of the Rabbit

Image by Gary Bendig on Unsplash I have woken late this morning – almost 9 am – very late for me. But I have been drifting in and out of sleep for the past few hours – since before 6 am. I no longer...

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In Praise of Love and Mountains

In Praise of Love and Mountains

Photo and Art by Véronique Balcerzak After Mike died, I made an effort, particularly at Christmastime, to ensure there was a gift from him, not only for each of the kids, but also for myself. The first...

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When your brain & heart are overwhelmed.

When your brain & heart are overwhelmed.

Recently, I had one of those weekends where I did way too much. I haven’t had one of these kinds of weekends in a while. I overcommitted myself and tried to “do it all”, without really...

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Countdown

Countdown

It was supposed to have been Costa Rica. Or it could have been Panama. Maybe Ecuador, or even Nicaragua. Our long planned journey of a lifetime: to experience the joys of eternal spring, high in the green...

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Learning to Shuck Oysters at 55

Learning to Shuck Oysters at 55

Main image by Tommaso Cantelli on Unsplash. Other pictures my own. I am a bit of an Omnivore, in that I eat everything, and always have done. I have never been a fussy eater, I have a great appetite (which...

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For once, the tears weren’t (only) mine

For once, the tears weren’t (only) mine

Main Image by Zac Ong on Unsplash Last Sunday I completed a 20 km running event. My first event of that distance (or so) in three years. I wrote about the run’s run-up last week. I have so often been...

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Witnessing Deep, Rich Love, Sorrow and Pain in Others

Witnessing Deep, Rich Love, Sorrow and Pain in Others

Image by Whoislimos on Unsplash I spent some deeply touching moments, minutes, hours yesterday evening, during my shift at the hospice. We have a beautiful new resident. She is a true beauty. Glorious...

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Alone

Alone

Image by Greg Rakozy on Unsplash I love David Whyte’s Poetry and Writings. I love David Whyte’s voice and the way he reads his Work. I love how he turns words over, how he massages formerly unnoticed...

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Turnover

Turnover

I saw that Bryan, until just recently our Saturday contributor, has announced his retirement from his spot on this Blog and introduced his successor. He is not the first. There is precedent for how such...

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Rougher and Smoother Grief Grooves

Rougher and Smoother Grief Grooves

Main image by Leslie Cross on Unsplash. Other pictures my own.  Last weekend, Medjool and I went to the Valais to enjoy a late summer weekend of mountain walking. The hotel and two nights’ accommodation...

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The Unconclusive Conclusion

The Unconclusive Conclusion

While writing this blog, I was forced to revisit and relive more than just my widowed walk. I dove back in time through many memories I had forgotten or hidden. In reflecting back, how ironic was it that...

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Push and Pull

Push and Pull

In 2023 I am going to overwinter in the desert. This week a whiff of Fall in the air prompted me to start my travel research. Of course, I knew my destination but not how best to get there. I was looking...

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In Praise of Love and Mountains

In Praise of Love and Mountains

Photo and Art by Véronique Balcerzak After Mike died, I made an effort, particularly at Christmastime, to ensure there was a gift from him, not only for each of the kids, but also for myself. The first...

Read More

Word of the Year

Word of the Year

In my very first post here I said I’ve never been a New Year resolution kind of gal. I still maintain that I am not. For me, the resolutions are too specific and confined that make me feel destined to...

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Vacationing Without Him

Vacationing Without Him

After the success of surprising my kids last year with a Christmas trip to Orlando, I decided to try it again this year. On Christmas morning, they woke up to a scavenger hunt that revealed we were going...

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Channelling Spirits this Christmas

Channelling Spirits this Christmas

Image by Rob Wicks on Unsplash Today is my first “me day” in a fat week. I have had eight (mostly enjoyable, if also busy) continuous days of catering and making, shopping and cooking, organising and...

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Grief Is…a repost worth sharing

Grief Is…a repost worth sharing

This week was the first anniversary of Tony’s death. Despite the strange time warp of grief, I have pulled us along into the second year. One hour, one day, one week, one month at a time. I imagine the...

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On Becoming a Sentimental Slob

On Becoming a Sentimental Slob

I used to think I was such an emotional tough guy. It is true, of course, that I had sobbed in my bed like a baby on the night my grandmother died, after displaying what I thought had been laudable stoicism...

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Slightly Lighter

Slightly Lighter

Image by Caleb Woods on Unsplash I survived another Christmas Day. Woohoo! I survived yet another Christmas Day. I am impressed. And of all of the above words, the word “survived” is the one that least...

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Our Second Christmas

Our Second Christmas

This is our second Christmas without Tony but despite that, it was a first of sorts. For our first Christmas without him, I couldn’t bear the thought to be in town. I didn’t want to feel forced to...

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Ruff Times and Holidays

Ruff Times and Holidays

“The presence and companionship of dogs, the observation of their playful tactics has helped patients on their way back to normal thinking and living.” Captain Wm. Lewis Judy,Founder of National...

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Seasons of The Mermaid

Seasons of The Mermaid

When I first moved to Southeast Coastal Georgia in March 2020, the Pandemic was in its early stages. In our new clime, however, life went on pretty much as usual with fewer restrictions than in the Northern...

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Holiday Adaptations

Holiday Adaptations

In  the fall of 2020, my late husband purchased the Christmas tree of his dreams at a Lowes in Kingsland, GA. After a challenging year Rich looked forward to the joy of the holiday season he’d always...

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A Holiday Dinner Party

A Holiday Dinner Party

Before Lee died, she had told Amy, her good friend, that she regretted her death was going to seriously challenge my well-being. Of course, Lee was right. Amy had shared this conversation with me in the...

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Camp Widow®

Camp Widow®

Camp Widow® is a unique and incredible experience. This program provides both practical tools and relevant resources for widowed persons rebuilding their lives in the aftermath of the death of a spouse or partner.

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What does hope look like for me now?

What does hope look like for me now?

Image by precious widbud Charlotte MacNaughton – Yellowknife, Canada’s Northwest Territories (Jan 2023) Way back when, back in my life before, and soon after I had started up my business, Kaleidoscope...

Read More

Cheering On Our Team

Cheering On Our Team

Yesterday was a big day for my city. In two weeks, my beloved Chiefs are headed back to the biggest football game. Like the week before, I gathered with my neighborhood crew to watch the game. If you didn’t...

Read More

Getting Back

Getting Back

One of the biggest challenges of adjusting to life as a widow is trying to hold on to the memory of the life you had as part of a long-time couple while trying to remember the “Me” before “We”...

Read More

Inspiration from

Inspiration from

The Widow Clicquot Who was 4 and a half feet tall with light colored hair and grey eyes and stormed the champagne industry during the French Revolution? That’s right! Barbe-Nicole: The Lady Herself...

Read More

Violent Dreams to Usher In the Year of the Rabbit

Violent Dreams to Usher In the Year of the Rabbit

Image by Gary Bendig on Unsplash I have woken late this morning – almost 9 am – very late for me. But I have been drifting in and out of sleep for the past few hours – since before 6 am. I no longer...

Read More

Greek Tragedy

Greek Tragedy

Losing Tony hasn’t really made me question who I am as a person, but it has made me question how I should spend my time. As a couple, we each participated in activities that the other person wouldn’t...

Read More

Mapping Grief:

Mapping Grief:

A Man Called Otto. We first meet Otto six months after his wife’s death. With no apparent family, and having cut ties with those he was once close with, a grief-stricken Otto is isolated and in constant...

Read More

Word of the Year

Word of the Year

In my very first post here I said I’ve never been a New Year resolution kind of gal. I still maintain that I am not. For me, the resolutions are too specific and confined that make me feel destined to...

Read More

Taking the Longview

Taking the Longview

It is pretty special to be able to post on the occasion of my birthday. I note that today, Saturday January 14, is also Organize Your Home Day, an Awareness Observances that encourages us to declutter...

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When your brain & heart are overwhelmed.

When your brain & heart are overwhelmed.

Recently, I had one of those weekends where I did way too much. I haven’t had one of these kinds of weekends in a while. I overcommitted myself and tried to “do it all”, without really...

Read More

Vacationing Without Him

Vacationing Without Him

After the success of surprising my kids last year with a Christmas trip to Orlando, I decided to try it again this year. On Christmas morning, they woke up to a scavenger hunt that revealed we were going...

Read More

Tapping in to The  “Terrible Two-Year”

Tapping in to The “Terrible Two-Year”

Posting here each Saturday has been an incredible opportunity. I love when someone tells me they’ve shared my post(s) with someone else who’s lost a spouse or experienced another kind of significant...

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The Art of Celebrating a Life Well-Lived

The Art of Celebrating a Life Well-Lived

Today my late husband Rich will celebrate a birthday in the Afterlife. I don’t know how birthday anniversaries are celebrated in that world, but down here I will be celebrating the occasion in a unique...

Read More

Getting Back

Getting Back

One of the biggest challenges of adjusting to life as a widow is trying to hold on to the memory of the life you had as part of a long-time couple while trying to remember the “Me” before “We”...

Read More

Ruff Times and Holidays

Ruff Times and Holidays

“The presence and companionship of dogs, the observation of their playful tactics has helped patients on their way back to normal thinking and living.” Captain Wm. Lewis Judy,Founder of National...

Read More

Two Additional Years

Two Additional Years

Image by Kristopher Fuller on Unsplash Today I have lived two full years longer than Mike lived. He never quite made 20,000 days, and I am now well over that milestone. I have been lucky to have… 730...

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Some Holidays are Better Than Others

Some Holidays are Better Than Others

One of the most difficult parts of the mourning process many widowed people experience is the loss of future occasions including holidays and anniversaries. We find ourselves listening to long-time married...

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Waters of Significance

Waters of Significance

  In last Saturday’s post, I shared the continuing process of spreading my late husband’s cremains throughout multiple watery locations. Choosing these meaningful places for this journey has been...

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Good Thoughts and Prayers

Good Thoughts and Prayers

I’ve found it difficult to recall the rapidly unfolding events that occurred this week one year ago.  The beautiful fall weather in the South features lack of the nearly year-round humidity. Clear Cerulean...

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The Unconclusive Conclusion

The Unconclusive Conclusion

While writing this blog, I was forced to revisit and relive more than just my widowed walk. I dove back in time through many memories I had forgotten or hidden. In reflecting back, how ironic was it that...

Read More

Take Me to Church

Take Me to Church

Photos my own, taken at the Holy Trinity Anglican Church in Geneva, Switzerland Yesterday, unusually, I went to church. Twice. And I spoke. From the pulpit. Yes – really. I had been invited – some...

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Growing Through Grief with Gratitude

Growing Through Grief with Gratitude

Yesterday I felt like I hit the grief guardrail at 75 miles an hour. I knew it was coming and I knew I couldn’t turn fast enough. It was emotionally inevitable and, as much as I wanted to avoid it, I...

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My Past in My Future

My Past in My Future

I don’t know how to navigate this. I don’t know how to balance out this future placed bereavement. I have been pressuring myself to “figure it out” because I feel overwhelmed by a lot in life right...

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July 4th – Our Wedding Anniversary

July 4th – Our Wedding Anniversary

Happy Anniversary, my love. Just a couple of kids who fell in love and were married just out of high school. Who knew we’d spend 51+ years together on this earth? A spark made it possible. The spark...

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The Widowed Resilience Scale

The Widowed Resilience Scale

Resilience is defined as the ability to ‘bounce back’ or recover from a traumatic life event or circumstance. According to the Holmes and Rahe Social Readjustment Scale widowhood rates as one of life’s most challenging experiences. This fact has driven the desire to study resilience in widowhood and identify the ways in which resilience can be built in men and women who have experienced conjugal loss.

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Featured Author

Meet this weeks Widow's Voice author.

Emma Pearson

Emma Pearson

My life is a whirling mix of swishy strands, dark and glowing brightly, rough and silky smooth – all attempting to be seen, felt and integrated at once. Here are some of my themes.

I am British

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