New Posts

Nephew Like a Son

Nephew Like a Son

Yesterday marked the one year anniversary of the passing of my nephew, Zac. It is still so surreal to acknowledge that fact. Tomorrow he would’ve celebrated his 41st birthday. He was the only son of...

Read More

Ambition Loss

Ambition Loss

Because I am in a Ph.D. program, I get this question a lot: “what are you going to do with that?” or “what are you going to do when you graduate?” And, it is a normal question,...

Read More

Form 632

Form 632

I am not one of those people who is tethered to a cell phone, so, while the call had come in around 1 pm., I didn’t notice the message until nearly five o’clock. As soon as I saw it was from the “310...

Read More

Here Comes Everybody

Here Comes Everybody

When my children were little, our youngest son always seemed to make a friend wherever he went. The library, in the aisles of the grocery store, or even while waiting for a prescription at the pharmacy...

Read More

I wish I could better imagine…

I wish I could better imagine…

Photos my own – taken at Christmas 2022, on runs with my dad Sometimes I stop short in my tracks and realise with desperate sadness that I can no longer imagine what my life would be like with Mike...

Read More

Grief and Circumstances

Grief and Circumstances

I always miss Tony, but I found myself missing him at every turn this week.   Our youngest was denied a spot on the soccer team with his friends again this year. I cannot help to think if Tony were...

Read More

The “Write” Path

The “Write” Path

I began writing blog posts for Widow’s Voice on October 1st of last year, nearly a year after the passing of my husband, Rich. I actually couldn’t remember when I’d started as the Saturday Poster...

Read More

Tackling Loneliness

Tackling Loneliness

As a widower, I make the effort to cultivate my friendships and acquaintances. By doing so I hope to avoid the loneliness and disconnection that seems to be pervasive. The unfavorable outcomes of loneliness...

Read More

My Other Life

My Other Life

How do you spell Doula?   Today is Tuesday, at 11:18 pm and two things are true: I am only just now writing the Wednesday post for Soaring Spirits’ Widow’s Voice Blog There is a high likelihood...

Read More

What do Mother’s Day, Handy Men, T-shirts and Jazz have in common?

What do Mother’s Day, Handy Men, T-shirts and Jazz have in common?

Photo my own   You might well ask. Well, one answer, and the only one I have right now, is that these words, or words related to them, are on sticky notes, forming a dense, colourful and messy pile,...

Read More

Motherhood in May

Motherhood in May

I am tired. For parents of school aged children, May is a special hellscape. Spring sports are in full swing. There are last minute school projects to complete. Field day for the elementary kids. Band...

Read More

Happy Dog Mom’s Day

Happy Dog Mom’s Day

“…in some magical way, time seems to stand still for our canines, and that they will love, need, and appreciate you, fur-ever.” With the passing of my father two weeks ago, I’ve been...

Read More

Newly Widowed

Here Comes Everybody

Here Comes Everybody

When my children were little, our youngest son always seemed to make a friend wherever he went. The library, in the aisles of the grocery store, or even while waiting for a prescription at the pharmacy...

Read More

Self Compassion

Self Compassion

I once had a dream about hearing my heartbeat. What does it sound like? I wondered. Have I heard my heart beating today? Does it matter?   I can’t say in real life that I notice my heart beating...

Read More

Water On Rock

Water On Rock

A person’s life emerges from their experiences. The daily ups and downs craft our being like water on rock. We emerge—for better or worse—from countless decision points and random events...

Read More

Just because I “know” doesn’t mean I “remember”

Just because I “know” doesn’t mean I “remember”

Image of Ground Zero Memorial by Oleg Illarionov on Unsplash It’s a tricky thing, supporting others who have experienced great loss. Even when you yourself have experienced great loss. Even when you...

Read More

The Dress

The Dress

From the Funeral A cute black dress came forward right on time. I was shopping (alone) for something to wear to the funeral for my husband of fifty-one years, nine months. I don’t enjoy shopping,...

Read More

Timelines and Revisions

Timelines and Revisions

  A few years ago when I was working as a Substitute Teacher, or as some of us say, “Guest Educator” I recall a day spent as a librarian for a local elementary school. In addition to returning...

Read More

Examining the Light Between Us

Examining the Light Between Us

In 2021 I was gifted a book written by Laura Lynn Jackson named SIGNS: The Secret Language of the Universe. The author is a psychic medium who penned the New York Times bestseller The Light Between Us:...

Read More

Our Beating Hearts

Our Beating Hearts

It happened last night in a waking dream. The other day I was on a call about grief. In poetic prose, the speaker mentioned “hearing the beating of her heart.”  She repeated that phrase at...

Read More

Camp Widow Serendipity . . .

Camp Widow Serendipity . . .

… a story. It was September of 2022 in Denver at the local community college. A widow, finding no support options in Mississippi, arrives via a road trip where Soaring Spirits is offering a one-day...

Read More

How Lucky Are We?

How Lucky Are We?

The Wonder of a Camp for Widowed People (the sequel) It is truly a wonder that a camp for widowed people exists! In October 2021, after I attended my first camp, I wrote about it here. This is the sequel...

Read More

Transformation

Transformation

Days of the “goo” were common, in the first days of grief in spring 2021. Goo refers to what happens to caterpillars after they close themselves up in a cocoon. They liquify and live in the...

Read More

Working Woman Still

Working Woman Still

When Dan was alive he used to tell me I worked too hard. The word “work” mostly referred to one or another creative project in addition to my professional job. He was right. I don’t have...

Read More

Soaring Spirits Interational

Soaring Spirits Interational

Soaring Spirits builds community. We create, and maintain, innovative peer-based grief support programs for widowed men and women that serve a worldwide population. Based on the powerful connections created by shared experience, we endeavor to ensure that no one need grieve alone.

More Info

I wish I could better imagine…

I wish I could better imagine…

Photos my own – taken at Christmas 2022, on runs with my dad Sometimes I stop short in my tracks and realise with desperate sadness that I can no longer imagine what my life would be like with Mike...

Read More

What do Mother’s Day, Handy Men, T-shirts and Jazz have in common?

What do Mother’s Day, Handy Men, T-shirts and Jazz have in common?

Photo my own   You might well ask. Well, one answer, and the only one I have right now, is that these words, or words related to them, are on sticky notes, forming a dense, colourful and messy pile,...

Read More

Credits

Credits

Photo my own screenshot  A long, long time ago, back in the last millennium, in the time when there were dinosaurs, and during the 7 month period between 1997 and 1998 where I had a brilliantly exciting...

Read More

Grief Work

Grief Work

Over the past  6 months or so I have started to realize how much more grief work I have to do. I think I went through a period where it felt like I had done it all. Not that I was “over it”...

Read More

8th April

8th April

Photos my own, taken today   It generates a sicky feeling in my tummy. A sinking of my heart. A shortening of my breath. An increase in my heart’s rate. A tensing of my belly. A weakening of my...

Read More

Taking Stock

Taking Stock

I’ve explained that my recent travels with Lola the pup to explore Arizona and parts southwest felt like an imperative. Simply put, I had to go. To accomplish the mission I did a lot of driving over...

Read More

“Pas Voulu Mais Choisi”

“Pas Voulu Mais Choisi”

Image by Josue Michel on Unsplash 18 March 2023 I have just come back from my Saturday morning swim with the Masters. When I say, “with the Masters”, I speak rather relatively. Yes, I am part of the...

Read More

Love Is Not Always Enough

Love Is Not Always Enough

Image by freestocks on Unsplash Last night I saw “The Son”, which I knew would be a hard film. (** Spoiler Alerts ** Don’t read if you want to see the film **) I knew from the trailer that it was...

Read More

Conversations Without Spaces Erase Entire Lives

Conversations Without Spaces Erase Entire Lives

Main image by Red Zeppelin on Unsplash I was invited for dinner at a friend’s house last night. Medjool was also invited and joined. We so rarely get invited out as a couple. His friends invite him out,...

Read More

Two Boyfriends.

Two Boyfriends.

Boris, I was not really sure if this would ever happen, or when it might happen, or if it was even possible to happen. But, I think I have a boyfriend. Or, would I say another boyfriend? Or an alive boyfriend?...

Read More

It’s Not About the Roses

It’s Not About the Roses

Image by Yoksel on Unsplash It’s Valentine’s Day already in some parts of the world. I know that the date fills a number of my fellow widbuds with Horror. Or Grief. Or Sadness. Or Resentment. There’s...

Read More

Violent Dreams to Usher In the Year of the Rabbit

Violent Dreams to Usher In the Year of the Rabbit

Image by Gary Bendig on Unsplash I have woken late this morning – almost 9 am – very late for me. But I have been drifting in and out of sleep for the past few hours – since before 6 am. I no longer...

Read More

Nephew Like a Son

Nephew Like a Son

Yesterday marked the one year anniversary of the passing of my nephew, Zac. It is still so surreal to acknowledge that fact. Tomorrow he would’ve celebrated his 41st birthday. He was the only son of...

Read More

I wish I could better imagine…

I wish I could better imagine…

Photos my own – taken at Christmas 2022, on runs with my dad Sometimes I stop short in my tracks and realise with desperate sadness that I can no longer imagine what my life would be like with Mike...

Read More

Happy Dog Mom’s Day

Happy Dog Mom’s Day

“…in some magical way, time seems to stand still for our canines, and that they will love, need, and appreciate you, fur-ever.” With the passing of my father two weeks ago, I’ve been...

Read More

Timelines and Revisions

Timelines and Revisions

  A few years ago when I was working as a Substitute Teacher, or as some of us say, “Guest Educator” I recall a day spent as a librarian for a local elementary school. In addition to returning...

Read More

Our Anniversary, Number 16 and Number 2

Our Anniversary, Number 16 and Number 2

  Friday would have been our 16th wedding anniversary and it’s the 2nd one he’s missed. The last two years I have intentionally been away from home on St. Patrick’s Day. Last year, the kids...

Read More

A Love Letter

A Love Letter

After Valentine’s Day Hey love, I made it through another valentines day — so well, in fact, that I forgot it was Wednesday and I’m just writing this! Writing to you is always easier...

Read More

It’s Not About the Roses

It’s Not About the Roses

Image by Yoksel on Unsplash It’s Valentine’s Day already in some parts of the world. I know that the date fills a number of my fellow widbuds with Horror. Or Grief. Or Sadness. Or Resentment. There’s...

Read More

Happily Paired, or “Quirkyalone”, Happy Valentines Day

Happily Paired, or “Quirkyalone”, Happy Valentines Day

Last Saturday, I was fortunate to join other local artists for an art gala in my local community. It had been many years since I’d exhibited at or had been involved in the organization of such an event...

Read More

Valentines, Valentines, Valentines Everywhere . . .

Valentines, Valentines, Valentines Everywhere . . .

. . it’s here again In trying to take stock of Valentine’s Day past, memory is fuzzy. Images come forward of our last V-Day together… Family room with hospital bed set up Candles Decorative...

Read More

In Praise of Love and Mountains

In Praise of Love and Mountains

Photo and Art by Véronique Balcerzak After Mike died, I made an effort, particularly at Christmastime, to ensure there was a gift from him, not only for each of the kids, but also for myself. The first...

Read More

Word of the Year

Word of the Year

In my very first post here I said I’ve never been a New Year resolution kind of gal. I still maintain that I am not. For me, the resolutions are too specific and confined that make me feel destined to...

Read More

Vacationing Without Him

Vacationing Without Him

After the success of surprising my kids last year with a Christmas trip to Orlando, I decided to try it again this year. On Christmas morning, they woke up to a scavenger hunt that revealed we were going...

Read More

Camp Widow®

Camp Widow®

Camp Widow® is a unique and incredible experience. This program provides both practical tools and relevant resources for widowed persons rebuilding their lives in the aftermath of the death of a spouse or partner.

More Info

Ambition Loss

Ambition Loss

Because I am in a Ph.D. program, I get this question a lot: “what are you going to do with that?” or “what are you going to do when you graduate?” And, it is a normal question,...

Read More

Form 632

Form 632

I am not one of those people who is tethered to a cell phone, so, while the call had come in around 1 pm., I didn’t notice the message until nearly five o’clock. As soon as I saw it was from the “310...

Read More

I wish I could better imagine…

I wish I could better imagine…

Photos my own – taken at Christmas 2022, on runs with my dad Sometimes I stop short in my tracks and realise with desperate sadness that I can no longer imagine what my life would be like with Mike...

Read More

Grief and Circumstances

Grief and Circumstances

I always miss Tony, but I found myself missing him at every turn this week.   Our youngest was denied a spot on the soccer team with his friends again this year. I cannot help to think if Tony were...

Read More

The “Write” Path

The “Write” Path

I began writing blog posts for Widow’s Voice on October 1st of last year, nearly a year after the passing of my husband, Rich. I actually couldn’t remember when I’d started as the Saturday Poster...

Read More

What do Mother’s Day, Handy Men, T-shirts and Jazz have in common?

What do Mother’s Day, Handy Men, T-shirts and Jazz have in common?

Photo my own   You might well ask. Well, one answer, and the only one I have right now, is that these words, or words related to them, are on sticky notes, forming a dense, colourful and messy pile,...

Read More

Motherhood in May

Motherhood in May

I am tired. For parents of school aged children, May is a special hellscape. Spring sports are in full swing. There are last minute school projects to complete. Field day for the elementary kids. Band...

Read More

Happy Dog Mom’s Day

Happy Dog Mom’s Day

“…in some magical way, time seems to stand still for our canines, and that they will love, need, and appreciate you, fur-ever.” With the passing of my father two weeks ago, I’ve been...

Read More

Grief fail.

Grief fail.

After Boris died, I felt this need to in some ways carry on who he was, including his interests and passions. I knew that his love for science wouldn’t be one I could try to tackle, and I tried to...

Read More

The School Bus That Thumps Me In The Gut

The School Bus That Thumps Me In The Gut

Music, yes – of course music does it. Lyrics or no lyrics – same same. Places too. And faces – duh. All of those are triggers – triggers for a fast tumble down a Grief-soaked spiral. But the evening...

Read More

Funeral Attendance

Funeral Attendance

I went to a funeral this morning. That right there could be the whole post, right? Two years later and it’s still hard to sit through one without transporting myself back in time. The funeral was for...

Read More

A Life Well-lived

A Life Well-lived

  Last Saturday, at 2:45am I received a phone call. I could tell by the sender that it brought the inevitable news that my father had passed. My dad had been under hospice care for approximately three...

Read More

I Said Yes!

I Said Yes!

Yesterday, April 28th marked the anniversary of my engagement to my late husband, Rich, in 1996, and also the 18 month milestone of my Widowhood Journey. Both milestones represent life-changing occasions...

Read More

Deathiversary Two

Deathiversary Two

Last week was a heavy week for me. Thursday marked two years since Tony died by suicide, leaving behind unanswered questions and heartache. These are the waves of grief we see coming and we can almost...

Read More

Poster Child – but not for the reasons I would have wanted

Poster Child – but not for the reasons I would have wanted

Photo by P – family friend – photo of our two girls, which P keeps stuck behind a piece of art from Julia It was Julia’s 19th birthday a couple of weeks ago. On 30th March. Still her birthday...

Read More

8th April

8th April

Photos my own, taken today   It generates a sicky feeling in my tummy. A sinking of my heart. A shortening of my breath. An increase in my heart’s rate. A tensing of my belly. A weakening of my...

Read More

5 years.

5 years.

Today makes 5 years. I can’t wrap my head around it. It feels so big and significant. I know it is just another anniversary year, but 5 feels somehow bigger–like a milestone.  In a way, I feel like...

Read More

The Body Remembers – Again

The Body Remembers – Again

This morning I awoke at exactly 4h00. It’s not entirely uncommon that I am awake around that time.   But to awaken at exactly 4h00. On 30th March. The body remembers.   Nineteen years ago,...

Read More

Our Anniversary, Number 16 and Number 2

Our Anniversary, Number 16 and Number 2

  Friday would have been our 16th wedding anniversary and it’s the 2nd one he’s missed. The last two years I have intentionally been away from home on St. Patrick’s Day. Last year, the kids...

Read More

My Blogiversary

My Blogiversary

This post marks my one-year anniversary as a writer for the Widow’s Voice. 52 weeks of sharing my journey with fellow widowed people and our support networks that follow this blog. There are weeks I...

Read More

March-ing Forth with The Memory Keepers

March-ing Forth with The Memory Keepers

February was a busy time on several fronts. The local Art Gala that had taken months of committee work and preparation for me as an organizer and participating artist was a great success. The hard work,...

Read More

The Art of Celebrating a Life Well-Lived

The Art of Celebrating a Life Well-Lived

Today my late husband Rich will celebrate a birthday in the Afterlife. I don’t know how birthday anniversaries are celebrated in that world, but down here I will be celebrating the occasion in a unique...

Read More

Getting Back

Getting Back

One of the biggest challenges of adjusting to life as a widow is trying to hold on to the memory of the life you had as part of a long-time couple while trying to remember the “Me” before “We”...

Read More

Ruff Times and Holidays

Ruff Times and Holidays

“The presence and companionship of dogs, the observation of their playful tactics has helped patients on their way back to normal thinking and living.” Captain Wm. Lewis Judy,Founder of National...

Read More

The Widowed Resilience Scale

The Widowed Resilience Scale

Resilience is defined as the ability to ‘bounce back’ or recover from a traumatic life event or circumstance. According to the Holmes and Rahe Social Readjustment Scale widowhood rates as one of life’s most challenging experiences. This fact has driven the desire to study resilience in widowhood and identify the ways in which resilience can be built in men and women who have experienced conjugal loss.

More Info

Featured Author

Meet this weeks Widow's Voice author.

Emma Pearson

Emma Pearson

My life is a whirling mix of swishy strands, dark and glowing brightly, rough and silky smooth – all attempting to be seen, felt and integrated at once. Here are some of my themes.

I am British

Subscribe to Hope Matters

Join our mailing list to receive notifications for upcoming events and news regarding Soaring Spirits International!

  • Please enter the following text in the field below.
  • This field is for validation purposes and should be left unchanged.