A Brief List of Happenings

1. This year I eschewed a few traditions. “No,” I told my children, “I am not depressed; not avoiding you; not in a funk. Just changing it up for New Year’s 2024.”
2. It was the opposite of being in a funk. Recently, I resolved to face any problems full-on and to beef up my brave.
3. footnote — the resolve happened in response to a major melt down. Yes. Grief.
4. For this New Year’s holiday I met the new year in action. Organizing.
5. In actuality, I made quite a mess that will likely not be finished until January 3rd or 4th!
6. Indy, my yellow Lab, loved it. She supervised all of my activities, brought in a few things from outside that I had to negotiate with her to give up, and invited me to throw a few balls to her in the backyard.
7. True to Life’s ways, challenge arrived in the form of a clogged toilet. After a failed plunger effort, I did not hesitate; I went to the garage and found a tool, all the while saying to myself, “I can do this!” And that’s exactly what happened.

Along the way I found a new idea for the widowed new year…

Sharing it below.

“Make your plan with your needs in mind—not the needs of others. As you build a plan, consider the “three Cs”: choose, connect, communicate.

Choose: Choose what’s best for you. Even during dark bouts of grief, you still possess the dignity of choice. “Grief often brings the sense of loss of control,” says Julie. Make choices about what you can attend, join, and do—and what you can’t—to help reinstate some of that loss of control.

And remember that choosing what’s best for you may need the input of someone else committed to your well-being.

Connect: “We’re wired for connection,” says Julie. And grief, especially during the holidays, intensifies feelings of loneliness, which often leads to isolation. It’s difficult but important not to remove yourself from others’ lives.

“No one wants to go to a party and constantly hear ‘How are you doing?’ But it’s important not to fake it when you’re asked.” And that honesty will help you and will help others help you.

Communicate: “Put your needs out there. Say to others, ‘This is going to be awkward or weird, but this is what I need’,” says Julie. “Let folks know how you plan to respond to others who ask, ‘How are you doing?’’ The greatest difficulty with this, though, says Julie, is the vulnerability it requires.

Communicating however you can to your friends and family will help them know how best to come alongside you, especially when grief arrives. “And in those moments of breakdown or confusion,” says Julie, “talk about it. It’s how we heal.”

Find the full article here

Hey, friend. Take good care of you — You’re Worth It.