One of the most difficult parts of the mourning process many widowed people experience is the loss of future occasions including holidays and anniversaries. We find ourselves listening to long-time married friends, family members and colleagues as they speak glowingly of their trips and celebrations of decades spent in togetherness. While we are truly happy […]
Widowed Holidays
Missing
It began with a need for a garment bag the kind from the cleaners with its pre-slit hole for the hanger — dry cleaners size — with child safety warning included. I doubted I had one but went into my closet searching for a stray lingering on the closet rod. I notice a […]
Waters of Significance
In last Saturday’s post, I shared the continuing process of spreading my late husband’s cremains throughout multiple watery locations. Choosing these meaningful places for this journey has been an important step for me, and others, in the mourning progress and honoring Rich as he’d wished to be. As a watery theme had run […]
Halloween Changes
Today is Halloween and per usual my feelings are complicated. I have always loved Halloween, it’s right before my birthday, I love dressing up and expressing some creativity. Before Tony and I had kids, we used to have a big party every year and we usually put a lot of thought into our costumes. Once […]
Finding My Way in Year Two
Which Direction? Which Decision? Being lost is not new to me. My inner navigation plan is usually this: If you think you should turn right, it is highly likely you should turn left. Truth. I admire those who have a born sense of direction—like my husband. The kids often tell tales of being on a […]
The Unconclusive Conclusion
While writing this blog, I was forced to revisit and relive more than just my widowed walk. I dove back in time through many memories I had forgotten or hidden. In reflecting back, how ironic was it that I rushed through the four years of high school and the four years of college only now […]
Stop Rushing Towards The Grief
I distinctly remember being in the 5th grade and saying: “Just 7 more years until I graduate. Then it’s college and dolphin training. Hang in there Bryan, it’s just 7 more years.” I wanted to be free of the bullying and I wanted my dream job, so I wished for time to tick by faster. […]
Never Ready
I can tell you exactly where I was standing . . . and who I was with when I heard that our superman died. “Impossible” I said. We are never fully ready to accept the death of our person. Time is a magician. Even with early warnings that death is near, time suddenly runs out. […]
A Pyrenean Adventure Written in Thumb and Swype
27 August 2022 I thought I would pull together the various updates I posted on to Facebook when I had occasional internet access during our Pyrenean Haute Route – begun last summer, and completed this year. Inspired by my dad John and my uncle Ian who completed it in well into their 60s (in one […]
All in Grief Time
After 23 years of effort, I’m leaving the field of animal care. I’m turning in my whistle and taking off my watch. A career with animals I dreamed to hold as a kid. Biology degree with minors in chemistry and behavioral psychology. I poured my heart, mind and passion into competing for minimum wage all […]
“Worse Things Happen At Sea”
Photos my own and a scan from my dad Growing up in Brussels in the 1970s and 1980s, there were a couple of sea-related sayings that were oft used in our family. Not that we lived close to the sea. Though we did cross the English Channel and the North Sea a few times a […]
Greater Ease in Groups
Photos my own – Montenegro – Lake Skadar and Bay of Kotor What is it that makes it easier, harder, or even impossible, to integrate, to participate in, to engage with, to be “fit for human consumption” in, a group? Not even two months ago, I wrote about a very challenging time I had had […]