Arrives as Gift It all started with a parrot, followed by two or more yapping chihuahuas. A din. The parrot screamed: Mom! Mom! Incessant barking sounded through the fence as loud, or louder, than a pack of small dogs sounding an alarm at close range. Were they being corralled? Or ostracized from being cozy […]
Widowed Holidays
Thanksgiving Then and Now
As in most families, our Thanksgiving traditions had their own rhythms. We’d gather at mom and dads’ place around mid-afternoon. You could count on my sister to arrive on time except when she arrived early. I, on the other hand, at least while I remained unmarried, could be counted upon to shuffle by later. First […]
Colder Weather
With my second Thanksgiving without Erik right around the corner, I find myself getting multiple flashbacks of all our past Thanksgivings. Thanksgiving was the first time I introduced Erik to my family a decade ago. The thought of another year with an empty seat with his name on it sets in more this second time […]
Keeping “Up” in UpState Country
Last week I wrote about “Settling In” as I continue to adapt to my new life in a log home in rural Central Florida. It’s been a “challenging” time. Over the course of less than 4 months, I purchased a new home intended for a rental property, decided I’d like to stay in it for […]
The Last Thanksgiving
Trigger alerts for: addiction, depression, and bitter sweet holiday memories. The last Thanksgiving that Mario and I had together was in 2020. It was the pandemic year, so we didn’t have a large group. It was just his dad, my parents, and a friend of ours. No one really knew it would be the last […]
Honoring El Dia de Los Muertos
According to the History Channel Website, ‘The Day of the Dead (el Día de los Muertos), is a Mexican holiday where families welcome back the souls of their deceased relatives for a brief reunion that includes food, drink and celebration.’ Later today, I will spend time at a Dia de los Muertos celebration in a […]
Another Halloween Without You
Today is Halloween. Yet another holiday that Erik is no longer here for. The days leading up to any holiday always puts me in a strange mood. The anxiety levels become higher than they normally are. The feelings of sadness, anger, disappointment, hope, and everything in between all seem to mix together. Something I still […]
Ghost Travels
“Live people ignore the strange and unusual. I myself am strange and unusual.” – Lydia Deetz (Beetlejuice) From a very young age I was always fascinated with the strange and unusual (it’s really no surprise that one of my favorite movies is Beetlejuice). You bet I was watching every “In Search Of…” rerun and begging […]
As the Seasons Change
The reality of the seasons changing is hitting me a little differently this year. This past week we took our family photos for the upcoming season and it was the first true holiday photo session I had joined in with the twins since Erik’s passing. It didn’t feel complete because the most important person to […]
Halloween Decorations
The seasons are changing here in the Midwest and everywhere you look is a plethora of pumpkin spice and Halloween. Houses are decorated with giant spiders, pumpkins, ghosts, skeletons, and tombstones. In my before, I never gave any of this a second thought. Now I find it a little odd people are out there setting […]
A “Weekness” For Dogs
Sometime around 2009, I came across an observance called National Dog Week. Founded by a man named Captain Wm. Lewis Judy in 1928, this intriguing slice of canine Americana fascinated me; there really was an actual seven day observance just to celebrate dogs and the humans that love them during the last week of September […]
Widowed Customs: The Ring
Another 4th of July—another wedding anniversary for the books. Dan left on April 15, 2021, so the first anniversary without him came up just three months after his burial. At just over two years of loss, this is my third time to mark our wedding anniversary without him. On this very public holiday in the […]