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Widowed Holidays

Wise and Kind Babes

Posted on: January 5, 2021 | Posted by: Emma Pearson

There has been a recurring question asked of me these past 18 months or so, which is both the time since Julia died, and also the time since I have (formally) been in a relationship. Oddly the question is not about Julia, nor about how I am (those are topics where most mere mortals fear […]

Categories: Child Loss, Widowed, Widowed Effect on Family/Friends, Widowed and Healing, Widowed and New Love, Widowed Holidays, Widowed Emotions, Widowed by Illness, Multiple Losses

Shattered Christmases

Posted on: December 29, 2020 | Posted by: Emma Pearson

Weird shit happens at this time of year. Weird shit gets said at this time of year too. It feels like it is just a stream of obscene extremes. So many types of polarities and tensions, to hold and somehow absorb. To try not to get too upset about. Festive lights against dark, black-out-curfewed streets. […]

Categories: Child Loss, Widowed, Widowed Parenting, Widowed Effect on Family/Friends, Widowed Memories, Widowed and New Love, Widowed Holidays, Widowed by Illness, Multiple Losses

The Day After

Posted on: December 26, 2020 | Posted by: Bryan Martin

The day after your diagnosis. The day after our last holidays. The day after your death. The day after all of the “firsts” without you. The day after all the seconds, thirds, fourth, fifths, sixth and, trust me, on the seventh day after there isn’t rest. Every day is a new “day after”. Funny, that […]

Categories: Widowed, Widowed & Unmarried, Widowed Memories, Widowed and Healing, Widowed Holidays, Widowed Milestones, Widowed Emotions, LGBTQ+ Widowed, Widowed by Illness

It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas (for real)

Posted on: December 21, 2020 | Posted by: Staci Sulin

For me, this Christmas, and always, I choose to focus on the LOVE and not the loss. This makes all the difference for me.

Categories: Widowed Memories, Widowed and Healing, Widowed Holidays, Widowed Milestones, Widowed Emotions, Uncategorized

Bitter, Bland and Forgotten Flavors

Posted on: December 19, 2020 | Posted by: Bryan Martin

This year has been nothing less than bipolar. Severe ups, downs, twists and turns I could never expect. Year 1 and 2, I could keep busy, keep moving and face the loss of Clayton when I wanted too. Now, year 3, in a pandemic with the world halted, I’m forced to taste the truth and […]

Categories: Widowed, Widowed & Unmarried, Widowed Memories, Widowed and Healing, Widowed Holidays, Widowed Belongings, Widowed Emotions, LGBTQ+ Widowed, Widowed by Illness

Present (The update 2020)

Posted on: December 14, 2020 | Posted by: Staci Sulin

I feel his absence in my psyche. Mike was my person and now I wander through life while part of my Soul is elsewhere. My goal is to become more present in my life. I want to hold steady here in the world where I physically exist. I need to engage in my life more fully. I deserve to live a good life; and, my boys deserve their Mother back. The gift of presence is the present I wish to give my boys this Christmas.

Categories: Widowed, Widowed and Healing, Widowed Holidays, Widowed Emotions

Season of Hope…

Posted on: December 7, 2020 | Posted by: Staci Sulin

As my grief continues to evolve, I carefully consider who I am today.  And, I recognize and accept that both potential and lost possibilities coexist in me.  This duality is one of the hallmarks of widowhood.  I am at once full of potential; and, concurrently, I have lost my ability to fulfill some of my previous desires.  This is just plain lousy.  I won’t pretend it isn’t.

Categories: Widowed, Widowed and Healing, Widowed Holidays, Widowed Emotions, Uncategorized

The Pain and Possibilities of “Yes”

Posted on: November 28, 2020 | Posted by: Bryan Martin

The first thing I learned to do when Clayton passed away was say “No”. I said no to getting out of bed, no to eating, no to showering, no to the gym. No was the safest place I could hide myself. Saying no stopped the world and that is just where I wanted to be. […]

Categories: Widowed, Widowed & Unmarried, Widowed Without Children, Widowed Effect on Family/Friends, Widowed Memories, Widowed and Healing, Widowed and New Love, Widowed Holidays, Widowed Milestones, Widowed Emotions, LGBTQ+ Widowed, Widowed by Illness

Undoing~

Posted on: November 25, 2020 | Posted by: Alison Miller

The holidays. Sometimes “The Holidays”. Tra la la la la. In the midst of grief, the words loom large. They loom large even when it isn’t about intense grief but just…eh. THE HOLIDAYS. Tra la frickin’ la. I just spent the last month grinching out to my kids about my feelings regarding the holidays. No […]

Categories: Widowed, Widowed Memories, Widowed Holidays, Widowed Emotions, Military Widowed, Widowed by Illness

My Veteran~

Posted on: November 11, 2020 | Posted by: Alison Miller

I was born into a military family. My dad was career Army, a West Point graduate. Two of my brothers served in the Navy and the Marines, respectively. A good part of my growing up years were spent on military bases, both in Germany and the States. My dream came true when I spotted Chuck […]

Categories: Widowed, Widowed Memories, Widowed Holidays, Widowed Belongings, Widowed Emotions, Military Widowed, Widowed by Illness

Fall

Posted on: November 9, 2020 | Posted by: Staci Sulin

Each year, I feel myself falter and fall when the leaves change color because I know that Mike’s death date is looming large.   Thankfully, over the years, I have learned to trust that I can and I will break my fall using my own grit and grace.  With time, I have come to value and appreciate the beauty in my own strength.  Now, I believe in myself the same way Mike believed in me.  This is big, big stuff.  This is Mike continuing to love on me from across dimensions.  

I have come to know my own capability.  Finally, I see what he saw in me.  It is ironic that it took Mike’s death for me to see myself in the light he saw me in.   With this reflection, I now have the ability to fiercely love myself – the way he once did.  What a way to honor the big love he had for me.  In his absence, I can love myself wholly and madly for him and because of him.  This is how Mike’s love lives on.  And, this feels pretty wonderful.

Categories: Widowed, Widowed and Healing, Widowed Anniversaries, Widowed Holidays, Widowed Milestones, Widowed Emotions, Widowed Suddenly, Uncategorized

Tears of A Clown

Posted on: October 31, 2020 | Posted by: Bryan Martin

It’s Halloween again. I used to mark my year’s passing by holidays and life events. Now that Clayton is gone, my year is filled with reminders written in grief across the days, weeks, months and seasons. My year is a grief calendar. It’s been four years since I really did anything. We dress up at […]

Categories: Widowed, Widowed & Unmarried, Widowed Memories, Widowed Holidays, Widowed Milestones, Widowed Emotions, LGBTQ+ Widowed, Widowed by Illness

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