This past weekend was my fourth Mother’s Day without Daniel. The last three have been very difficult for me, and had I had time to think about it, I would have dreaded this one too. Oddly enough I was too busy to think about whether the weekend would be hard or not. It was hard in a different way this year. I missed him, as I usually do, but it was…
Widowed Holidays
Celebrating Moms
Sports practices, music lessons, school meetings, homework, school projects, dinner every night, getting multiple children to different locations at the same start time, crying for daddy, asking where he went, consoling, advising, figuring out what the best solution to the problem is when you only have one opinion to consider….any of this sound…
It is birthday weekend.
David and I were born only two days apart, out of all the years I’ve known him we’ve only been able to spend 3 birthdays together… Our 16th, our 21st, and our 22nd birthdays… (Picture taken at Six Flags California, April 2006, our 21st Birthdays) Previously, I looked forward to new years to come, new challenges… another birthday… life.
Happy Easter?
Wishing someone a good day or a nice holiday weekend seems innocuous enough most of the time…but as a new widow well meant wishes from family, friends or strangers struck me like arrows. How exactly am I supposed to have a good day? Why do I care about this holiday? Have you forgotten for a moment that my husband is dead? Some days I could accept…
Birthday Thoughts
Tomorrow is Daniel’s 39th birthday. I haven’t seen him since he was 35, and that thought surprises me in a way that seems ridiculous. I know he’s been gone three and a half years, but not seeing him since he was 35? “Inconceivable!” The passage of time is a mystery to me. There are moments when it seems like he just left, and others when it feels…
The Big Red Day
My husband used to call Valentine’s Day ‘So What Day’…romantic, huh? He thought greeting cards were a waste of trees; that buying flowers because someone told you to defeated the purpose; and that going to dinner on the big day just to eat from a limited menu and have servers anxiously awaiting your departure from the table was ridiculous.
Reflecting on the New Year
New Year’s Day is a reflective holiday for me. How would I rate last year overall? Are there any obvious changes that I can make to improve the coming year? When I look back at the past 365 days can I say that I am proud of the way I lived them? Self-reflection, however, is extremely challenging when grief has walked into your life unbidden and…