As you wake this Christmas morning, you may feel alone lying in your bed. You may feel far from your beloved that you’ve lost. You may cry and feel sorry for yourself. You may watch your children open their presents as tears roll down your cheeks. But know that we are not alone.We are all facing this together. Your loved ones are with you, if in…
Widowed Holidays
Merry Memories
This Christmas the veil between where Phil is and where I am seems to be much thinner than in years past. Michelle and I once talked about the “feeling” of knowing our husbands were in the room.Michelle remarked that she wasn’t sure if knowing for sure that Daniel was right there would make her feel better or worse. If he were right next to you,…
what she would want
i took maddy tothe same christmas tree lot we wentto last year. she helped mepick out a tree,something i alwayshated doing whenlizwas here.but i had to do it.i know this would have been a reallyexciting timefor us, maddy’s firstchristmas, but it just doesn’t seemreal, doesn’t seemright withouther.this year wedid’t buy the biggesttree…
Savor the Moments
Sometimes it seems that grief wipes out every feeling except despair. Nothing matters, no moment is free of sadness, food doesn’t taste good, family time is painful, memories are daggers to the heart, and life does not feel like a gift.But once in awhile a different feeling floats to the surface of the dark pool of loss. Maybe laughter at something…
Making Memories (and a few cookies too!)
It’s that time of year. The time when everything takes on a rosy glow (when you stop rushing around long enough to notice the glow….). The time of year when people smile a bit more, say nicer things to each other, and we are, for just a few days, the people we strive less successfully to be the rest of the year round: generous in thought and…
A Wary Merry Christmas
I spent last December 22nd in the emergency room, which isn’t necessarily an unusual place for an extremely pregnant woman to be. Unfortunately, I wasn’t there to deliver a bundle of joy but rather to find the source of the unrelenting headache that had kept Chris in bed for almost two days.Within an hour of arriving at the ER, my world started…
Napping before the show….
I’m tired.I’ve miscalculated my energy for this month, which has equated to many a’naps.In the midst of the over-exertion and holiday bustle, I drained my tank with no one in sight to grab me some gas. It’s just a month of lots of everything!December 23rd will be our four year anniversary and December 27th will be my birthday…heck, and lets throw…
We Made It ….
Widowhood is a very, very long road but we made it past Thanksgiving, didn’t we? We may have not wanted to, it may have been yet another punch in the gut, it may have been less horrible than we anticipated …. but we did it.We all keep putting one foot in front of the other (most days) and as we walk we grow stronger and stronger. We don’t feel as…
Tough Month
“December is the toughest month of the year. Others are July, January, September, April, November, May, March, June, October, August, and February.” Mr. Twain hit the nail on the head with this quote, but December truly is a month that tests my perseverance more then the other 11 on the calendar.I think as widows/widowers there are times of the…
The Empty Seat Beside Me
Before Phil’s death, Thanksgiving Day was filled with gratitude for the gifts of the present. Then death changed my focus, and the past was were my heart longed to be.On my first widowed Thanksgiving Phil’s empty seat at the dinner table represented only my personal loss. Knowing he would never again sit bside me as we spoke aloud the things for…
Thanksgiving
With the holidays upon us I started creating a list of things for our organization to make this time a more bearable one. I thought I’d share it with you all:The holidays have a way of magnifying our loss and can be a difficult and confusing time of year. “What to do? How to act? How to wake up and seize the day?” are just a few of the thoughts…
Mind Over Matter?
I used to believe in that phrase. After all, if you just tried hard enough, if you just had the right attitude, if you just pulled yourself up by your bootstraps …. your life would be better. Right? Well, this phrase worked for me until mid December of 2007.Then my life was shattered, along with my heart, and my life became “matter over mind”. …