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Musings about life and guilt. Mostly guilt.
Two years ago on August 31, 2015, Ben wrote these words on our personal blog … “My visits to the BC Cancer Agency only serve to re-enforce my suspicions that by this time next year I’ll be nothing but a memory to everyone. A fond one perhaps, but only a memory. Don’t get me wrong, the people at the BCCA are very kind and helpful but they…
What Remains
Filling in for Alison today…she will be back next week! ******************************** As a young woman entering into adulthood with lofty goals, sterling ideals, and great hope for the future I could have easily created a long list of my personal beliefs. This list would have included ideas about both the tangible and the intangible; broad…
Because you Died
This week if the first anniversary of Kaiti’s husband John’s death. I am filling in for her this week, and I ask that you send her your virtual love and support as she makes her way through the anniversary of a day that altered her life. Sending much love your way, Kaiti. May John’s love fill your day in unexpectedly beautiful ways. …
Welcome Our New Writer Michelle Midgett
“It’s ok”. “What’s ok”? I replied. “Life, life will be ok”. This is the conversation that will always haunt me. This was the conversation my husband, Joey and I had the morning of his death. We were sitting in the car both frustrated with what now I realize is such minuscule issues. Had I known the truth of that day what would I of…
It Took Me Ten Years
Sunday morning I decided to clean out my pajama drawer. Knowing I tend to be a bit of a clothes hoarder (imagine if I’d saved all my clothes from the 80’s!), I went about my task with the internal mantra, “If you haven’t worn the item in one year give it away.” That philosophy worked well until I dumped a pile of clothes on the floor to sort, and…
Being a Widowed Mom
Revisiting a blog I wrote about six years ago. Wow has the time flown. But, these words still ring so true for me. Raising grieving kids has been one of the most difficult experiences of my life. And yet, I didn’t seem to break my kids or ruin them or doom them to a life of despair, somehow we all made our way through the death of our Phil…
And so they danced
Today our Widow’s Voice blog is sharing the words of John Wiggers. John wrote this story about his sister-in-law Wendy, whose liveliness and spunk touched everyone she met. What John didn’t know as he wrote these words honoring Wendy’s life, was that his wife Teresa, their children Brad, Kevin and Alison, and everyone who knew and loved John, would…
The Widow Word
Over the years, I’ve been asked many times what I think of the word widow, and specifically if I’d prefer we use a different word that has a more positive connotation to label the widowed experience. When the word widow first applied to me, I told myself that I hated that word. I shuddered every time I used that word to describe myself, and…
Wearing his Clothes
For the first few weeks after Phil’s death anything that had touched his body was sacred. His shoes were sitting where he last left them, his lunchbox remained on top of the refrigerator, and his toothbrush was standing next to mine in the holder. One day I found an eyelash of his and pressed it into a plastic rosary holder for safekeeping. Three…
Nouns and Adjectives
The words we use to define ourselves often begin with the roles we play in life. We each have roots as someone’s child, and grandchild. Family ties may link us as a brother or sister; aunt or uncle; niece or nephew. Choosing to marry creates the roles of husband and wife. Many parents consider the title of mother or father to be their primary…
So What Day
My husband, Phil, used to call Valentine’s Day ‘So What Day’…romantic, huh? He thought greeting cards were a waste of trees; that buying flowers because someone told you to defeated the purpose; and that going to dinner on the big day just to eat from a limited menu and have servers anxiously awaiting your departure from the table was…