As I was driving the twins home from school on Friday something hit me. Just out of the blue, I started to full on cry. The kind of crying that I couldn’t do silently. The kind I couldn’t hide. The kind where I felt it deep down in the pit of my stomach. I tried […]
Widowed Signs from Loved One
Signs From Nashville
Last weekend I went to Nashville for a belated birthday trip. One of my best friends from college and I flew in to meet there. The trip was for us, but I knew it would bear reminders of Tony at every turn. I enjoy some country music and prefer the 90’s era from my high […]
True Story
In going through my archives, a memory of a New Jersey Holiday event brought a nostalgic moment. In my “past life” as a Full-time Working Artist, The Holly Berry Boutique held each year at the Upper Montclair Woman’s Club in Northern North Jersey was always a beloved occasion for me, my fellow artists, family and […]
How long has it been?
1,245 Days Borrowing a poem from Mary Oliver to remember you: Not Anyone Who Says Not anyone who says, “I’m going to be careful and smart in matters of love,” who says, “I’m going to choose slowly.” Nope. Mary Oliver’s opening words do not describe our particular story. We were young (so young!) and […]
Brewing Intuition
Last Sunday I woke up in California ready to head home after spending an incredible weekend with a group of widow friends. Being a travel day, the first thing I did was check my flights. Both flights were delayed by 15 minutes. I tried to go back to sleep but something told me to keep […]
Sea of Serendipity
Whew! It has been a hectic few weeks. I feel like I’m always in survival go-go-go mode where I’m just going through the motions of doing things without really being fully present in what I’m doing. I guess it comes with the territory of being a solo parent. Lately, I’ve been trying to remind myself […]
On Location!
As I’ve relayed in previous posts, in February I traveled from Florida to my brother’s home in New York State with the urgent news that my mother was not doing well. I understood that this would most likely be my last visit with her. Unfortunately, I learned of her passing while on a layover in […]
How Could I be Forgetting?
Last Saturday, March 2nd, marked the sixth year of the passing of my sister, Manette. But for some reason I’d “forgotten” her angelversary and that intended post in her memory did not get written. The anniversary of her service was March 6th so I’ve thought a lot about her this past week. Then just two […]
“Marching” Forth and Random Thoughts on a Good Week
I returned home from New York State last Saturday evening weary from spending time processing the loss of my mother with family members. The cold temps and emotional exhaustion caught up with me and by Monday I was not feeling well and rested up for the tasks that rise up before me now. When I […]
Waking from a Dream
I woke up in the dark and after a time realized that it had only been a dream. I recall in my dream feeling confused. Now wide awake, I still felt unsettled. I was here in Arizona, enjoying a visit from Robyn, when I suddenly remembered that Lee was back home. In my dream, Lee […]
A Message from Him
Last week, I went to visit my parents in Florida. We took a side trip down to Key West for two days. We spent our time exploring all the restaurants, art galleries, and shops Duval Street has to offer. In a tourist heavy city like Key West, you always end talking to a few strangers […]
Dreaming of Him
Even after almost three years, I rarely dream of Tony. I would venture to guess I’ve had no more than ten dreams of him since he passed. In the beginning, I remember falling asleep hopeful he’d make an appearance. Knowing I’d never again see him in the physical world had me craving a visit of […]