I watch the kids walk by while sipping my coffee on the front stoop. Today, there is a crispness to the morning air that stirs memories of the first days of a new school year. Even if you were not the most enthusiastic student, those first days of school invariably were the most exciting ones. […]
Widowed Without Children
Mother’s Day Reflections
My mother will have been gone nearly twenty years come this Mother’s Day. I can tell you that she loved her family unconditionally, and me most of all, I think. Come Mother’s Day I will think about my mother’s generous spirit. I will recall her stubbornness. I will remember that my mother was highly principled. […]
Event Horizon
My nephew Kevin has two kids, eleven-year-old Alyssa, and her twelve-year-old brother Nathan. For reasons I’ve never understood, a few years ago Alyysa decided that she was going to adopt a new first name. Today “Alex” is the only moniker that she will answer to. Not to be outdone, Nathan thereafter abandoned his given name […]
Halloween Candy 2 (or Halloween Candy revised)
Every year about this same time, television stations roll put their catalogues of scary movies to help celebrate Halloween. It has been a tradition as far back as I can recall, and at my age, believe me, this tradition covers a lot of ground. For example, my personal faves from the 1950’s would include Don […]
The Unconclusive Conclusion
While writing this blog, I was forced to revisit and relive more than just my widowed walk. I dove back in time through many memories I had forgotten or hidden. In reflecting back, how ironic was it that I rushed through the four years of high school and the four years of college only now […]
Widowed Wealth of Words
This week has been a huge transition in my life. I retired from my 23 year career to focus on my relationship and the business I own. I can work from anywhere which is giving me much more time to enjoy time. Of course, big transitions have change and responsibility. I’m organizing my own healthcare, […]
Stop Rushing Towards The Grief
I distinctly remember being in the 5th grade and saying: “Just 7 more years until I graduate. Then it’s college and dolphin training. Hang in there Bryan, it’s just 7 more years.” I wanted to be free of the bullying and I wanted my dream job, so I wished for time to tick by faster. […]
Taking Flight
As I pause and look at my life now, I can’t help but be grateful for everything that has been gifted to me, especially the love I’m surrounded by now. This week I truly wanted to see how far I have come so I looked back to my blog post 2 years ago. As I read […]
All in Grief Time
After 23 years of effort, I’m leaving the field of animal care. I’m turning in my whistle and taking off my watch. A career with animals I dreamed to hold as a kid. Biology degree with minors in chemistry and behavioral psychology. I poured my heart, mind and passion into competing for minimum wage all […]
Grief and Gratitude
It’s been over two years since I wrote the following blog. We carry grief like an autoimmune issue. It’s always going to be part of us and can flare up. I constantly look back at where I was to remind me of what I’ve grown through. Life has blessed me with a second chance and […]
Back in Week Number One
Clayton, The buildup towards your funeral is tearing open wounds I thought were scared strong. I wrote about it last week and what has changed is the intensity and the heaviness. This all should have happened four years ago when the original storm hit. My grief timeline is so out of phase it’s uncharted waters. […]
Fighting Through Inertia
The confluence of two celebratory occasions, Father’s Day, and my birthday, leaves me in a pensive mood today. As I have told you before, I have not fathered any children, a fact that is among my regrets in this life. Unlike Mick Jagger, whose youngest child was born in 2016 when Mick was already in […]