Perusing today’s newspaper, I was drawn to the tantalizing headline: “How Nearly a Century of Happiness Research Led to One Big Finding” (found at https://www.nytimes.com/2025/05/01/magazine/happiness-research-studies-relationships.html). After all, who wouldn’t want to learn the secret to finding true happiness?
Among other topics, this interesting piece recounts the history of “the longest-running wellness study in American history,” which, since 1938, has investigated and surveyed groups of men and (many years later) women for “clues about the choices and circumstances that lead people to look back on their lives with regret or satisfaction.”
The initial participants in this study were all young adult, male students at Harvard University. The study of these participants continues throughout their lives. Today, the surviving original participants are mostly in their nineties. Over time, in addition to female subjects, the study also has examined the lives of a group of underprivileged men.
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From all this effort, what is the secret to achieving human happiness? The short answer appears to involve developing and maintaining good relationships with other people.
I listened to a TED Talk presentation by Robert Waldinger (found at https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8KkKuTCFvzI), the current director of the Harvard study. It is only about twelve minutes long, but well worth a listen. One of his main takeaways was that loneliness is a killer.
It is a widely shared view. See “Loneliness Can Be Toxic,” by Francine Russo, Scientific American (January 1, 2018) [hereinafter referred to as SA], found at https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/loneliness-can-be-toxic/. “Growing evidence has linked loneliness to a marked vulnerability to a host of psychological and physiological ills, from depression and cognitive decline to heart problems and stroke….[I]nsufficient social connection, stemming not only from feelings of loneliness but also from isolation and poor-quality relationships, is a major public health concern.” Id.
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I am a senior citizen. I am a widower. I am childless. I live alone, which is another obvious potential risk factor. (Although my cursory research for this post did not establish a clear link between pet ownership and reducing loneliness or social isolation, I am still grateful to Lola the wonder pup for providing me with excellent company!) It might seem counterintuitive at first blush, however, apart from us seniors, the other most vulnerable group appears to consist of lonely or isolated young people. See SA.
Thus, I work hard to maintain my existing relationships, which over time become fewer simply as a matter of natural attrition. I will continue to seek out new connections, no easy matter, especially now that I have mostly left the workplace. Most importantly, I will be mindful that it is not the quantity, but the quality, of these relationships that matters most.
