Last Christmas my family started incorporating Michael back into Christmas by filling a stocking full of gift-cards, gadgets and more that Michael would have loved….but I could use. It was heart warming to see them remember and bring to life some of his favorite things and places from memories passed.
This year my family arrived and handed over Michael’s stocking. It was light. At first, I had thought maybe they had run out of ideas on what to put in his stocking. I slipped my hands in ready to grip on to something…..paper. Sheet and sheets of paper filled the green velvet stocking sporting his name.
I opened one up to see stories and memories written by those who had known Michael. Some that had only known him briefly, others that had just were affected by his kind and giving nature, and my family, who had seen first hand the makings of my soul mate.
I started reading one in front of them before I announced that I would rather read these in private. After my family departed I ran straight to the pile of words that made up moments in time. The tears streamed down as I reminisced and re-lived some of the magic and mundane moments that others had shared with Michael.
It truly was the best gift. For in reading those letters, Michael came to life in my heart this Christmas day, our love boiled in the cauldron in which it is permanently located in my soul.
My chest pounds even as I type this…..with the love that never flees. It may feel dormant at times, especially those times in which I wish he was here the most. But, like any moment in time where i feel that, I am reminded that it is still coursing through my veins more then ever.
I love you baby…and am so in love with you.
“A place in thy memory, dearest, Is all that I claim; To pause and look back when thou hearest The sound of my name”
– Gerald Griffin