My cousin asked me once, “Why are you always so happy?” Imagine – a widow being asked that! And, this was shortly after my Mom had passed away. My response to her, without thinking, was “Because all the worst things that can happen have already happened…” She didn’t quite know what to make of it, […]
LGBTQ+ Widowed
The Power of Keeping Our Memories
I recently watched the movie, “Forgotten Island!” I have been waiting all year to watch this!!! Forgotten Island is a Dreamworks animated movie set in the Philippines about two friends who travel to a mystical island, and encounter our culture’s mythological creatures – many of whom I have been told stories about since I was […]
Another New Chapter…
I recently went to a little gathering for my retirement with my former (!) coworkers. Three of the folks there had retired at different times in the past 7 years. It was super sweet and we talked a lot of shop about work stress, people’s various experiences with the transition from working (three of us […]
I Think You’d Be Proud of Me…
There’s a trend going around where people are videotaping someone with their birthday cake. As they sit there, their loved ones put a lighted candle in the cake, and tell them what THEIR wish for the birthday celebrant is. Example: “I wish you happiness this year.” “I wish you continued success in your career.” “I wish […]
“I Truly Believe That I’m Going To See Him Again Someday” ~ Dolly Parton
I am so grateful I was able to visit Dollywood with Lynn and her family a few years before she passed. Dollywood is still one of my favorite places to visit, and I tell people it reminded me of going to Disneyland in the 1970’s / 80’s. It had an amazing feeling of being in […]
Letting Go of a Survival Identity
I collect quotes, and some of them ending up aligning with one another in a way that drives the point stronger. Here are a few gems lately: “You already know what to do, you’re just negotiating with comfort.” “Your commitment to the future needs to be stronger than your attachment to the past.” “The world changes […]
We’re on this Roller Coaster Together
A friend recently connected me with her friend who had unexpectedly lost her partner a few months ago. In talking with her, I recognized that “under the surface shock while trying to pretend to hold a normal conversation” that I (and probably most of us) felt after Lynn passed – especially for those first 6-12 […]
She Passed Before Retirement
One of my “widow superpowers” is trying to make sure everyone I love knows I love them, and taking the time to spend time with my favorite people. I refuse to pass away feeling like I did not spend as much time with someone as I should have; nor do I want anyone I love […]
The “Spare Key Theory”
I have read a few varying explanations of The Spare Key Theory. The theory came across my social media sometime, probably because I was reading / finding songs / looking for relatable stories about losing your mother. I’ll add one of the explanations below, but one interpretation I like is: A spare key is the access you […]
Allowing Nostalgia to Evolve
Every year when I was a kid, throughout the 1970’s and 80’s, my extended family would take a road trip to San Diego to visit family. During the era of no-seatbelt-laws, thirteen (13!) of us would pile into the family orange Dodge Van with the bubble windows, back area that turned into a huge bed, […]
Checking an Item Off the To Do List after 11.5 years
11.5 years after Lynn passed, I (finally) switched my home’s water bill from her name to my name. Normal?! Ehhh, I thought it was pretty nuts that it took me this long. This un-fun task was never on my “urgent do now” list. In the back of my mind, I thought THAT was the strange […]
Do You Believe in Life After Love?
Love songs hit different now, for many reasons. Lately, I have been touched by what would be categorized as “love songs,” but I take them in as me talking to myself… Two songs have really taken my breath away lately, and are on the soundtrack of my current chapter and whatever-life-transition-I-am-in-now. Adam Lambert’s rendition of […]